hi im 19 and im just sad and feeling lonely all the time, oviosly i try hiding that from everybody but the true is that im really depres and unhuppy. im spanish and im in a new country wchih i feel so so lonely, even ive got a boyfriend which loves me and i love him, but his background, his culture is really difficult and hard to accept, he is a punjabi guy, and that sometimes makes me go crazy cause he always has famely meetings and staff like that which i dont mine, the problem here is that he cant tell them that he is dating and spanish girl cause they will kil him, so the fact that he has to hide me from his famely it hurts me, cause i trie to understand his culture and everything but in the other hand they are not givinme a chance, and they will never do. is not that im planning my future but us really hard to be with somebody when you cant even dream about a future together. plus i dont have people in the uk which i can really talk to.
2006-10-17 09:28:22 · 8 answers · asked by maria 1 in Travel ➔ United Kingdom ➔ London
i also live in london and people here specialise in that 'i don't have anything against you but please just go away' attitude;i think it is just big city smartness with a healthy dollop of fear thrown in but it can be a very nasty city.another point to bear in mind is that london is really a city of groups who are divided from one another by all sorts of problems as you are experiencing with your boyfriend;there is the addiction community,the gay sex community ,race,age,hobbies;this age can not be underestimated as the kids now see older people as not relavent and have more in common with some kid of african descent than with their grannies-heartening in a sad kind of way.
people from the sub continent of india are in the news on account of the isolation from the local community;i am not sure that i accept this argument-certainly their culture is different and they have further isolated themselves because of racial tension against them but britain never has had a sense of community and as i have implied so far particularly in london-i guess it is fair to say that like any beleaguered community the punjabis intermarry to solidify the community-i have to say that all this cultural and religious rubbish drives me to distraction
a nineteen year old girl will not have any problems finding new friends and i advise you to broaden your horizons;some day in the future your boyfriend will have to choose between you and his family and i wouldn't bet on the outcome;you need to line up alternatives for when that happens
your english is coming along very nicely and if money is tight you can get free language classes at the golders green school of english ,near the sstation, as practise for the teachers who are trainging to teach english;i have just finished the course;you would also met spanish people to talk to on these courses
there are several nice coffee shops in golders green and you will have a wonderful time chatting to your new friends all the time;it is very likely that you will met someone else and the problem will just go away
at the risk of sounding like the old guy i am it is far too young to think about settling down when there is so much to experience
i am on here every day and always available to talk-try some of this stuff and if you need some more help come back to me
2006-10-17 10:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by Patrick O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be depressed but it is not the end of the world. Stop dating a guy that is too chicken to have you intereact with his friends and family. He does not"love" you if he iskeeping you in hiding. Find some people to hang out with and stop thinking about this chickensh-- moron. You will feel much more comfortable associating with people that accept you for yourself. Work on this instead of thinking about him and being given a chance. A chance for what..to be ridiculed by intolerant people?
2006-10-17 16:38:43 · answer #2 · answered by juncogirl3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should play hardball. Either they have to accept you or you want to live seperately from him.Just plan your exit strategy out of this relationship.A relationship should not be dictated by a Dr. Jekyll and Hide-mentality. Besides why don't you find some people you can relate to,I mean new ones?This should not be too hard.
vai con dios
2006-10-17 22:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Michael V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hola,
have you tried talking to a minister or a priest to help you put things into perspective? I know what it is to be in a different country and feel completely out of place.....and in your case you have the added situation of your Punjabi boyfriend, whose customs and traditions are so very different from yours. I really think that a priest or a minister might be able to at least listen to you....not just to have them give you their religious opinions, but to be able to clear your mind of doubts and fears you have.
I wish you the best!
2006-10-17 16:44:32 · answer #4 · answered by Ralph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to tell you but if that was me i would get out that is no way to live your life your young and have the rest of your life ahead of you why go through that life is to short to settle for second best.
but you have to be the one to figure out what you want from your life to be happy or be sad and lonely. i would choose happy good luck with your decision
2006-10-17 16:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by lipsmackinghotauntie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo pienso que tienes un problema serio , habla con alguien de tu confiansa antes de cometer un error de el cual te tengas que arrepentir .
2006-10-17 21:09:35 · answer #6 · answered by playaseca2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave his lying A**!
2006-10-17 16:38:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be more depressed about your spelling..........
2006-10-17 16:30:51 · answer #8 · answered by dik 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋