I am very short tempered. I dont know how to control my temper.?

Question

Because of this many times small discussion with my wife turns into a big fight. I really really love her and dont want to hurt her but I cant control myself sometimes. Problem is that she also always come up with the issues that I dont like. But still I think this all happened bcoz of my short temper. I dont wanna end up with any misunderstanding and this thing is building up day by day in our relationship. PLs come up with serious answers. I really appreciate that

Answer 1

Maybe u should look into anger management classes.

Answer 2

How To Control Short Temper

Answer 3

You are no doubt considered a jerk by most people. Only because of your temper. other than that I have no doubt you'd be a likable guy. But no one likes an a*shole...which you appear to be.
So...my advice is if you cannot control this temper you'd best look into some anger management help. Short tempers are an indication of a person with little to no self esteem and no faith in themselves so the best way they can compensate for their miserable existence is to make those around them equally as miserable if not more so. Now it's true isn't it that when you get into with the wife and beat her down verbally you feel good inside isn't it? Maybe not for any length of time but at the moment you feel as though you've savored a taste of victory because you've gotten the upper hand...right?
Of course I am. This is precisley what I've been saying. Try exercising some self restraint. it's what seperates us from animals and the common low life sh*theads in todays society and makes us the better of them.
Do it. Get that help if you can't accomplish this on your own. You'll see that I'm right.

Answer 4

Short tempers can be the result of many issues in life - some can be as simple as a blood test (thyroid disease) and yes it does affect men. Makes you very moody. Cut down on the caffiene, alcohol and other such stimulants if you do use them often, they suck they can wreck havoc on ones mood. Find an outlet, gym, jog, bowl, excercise can relieve much much tension. If you are truly pissed off, walk away. Take a break, take a breathe of fresh air and think about how u would like to respond before you respond, might want to suggest that to your wife too!! It works I know I have been there. God Bless n good luck!

Answer 5

Points to you for realizing this is a problem and trying to find a solution!

That in itself may be part of the key -- we often forget that we're deciding, many times a day, who we are, and who we want to be. It's easy to decide "that's just who I am - nothing I can do about it." Easy in the short term, but incorrect, and often leads to trouble in the long run.

When you get angry, you're making a choice about how to take what's said, and how to respond. You can choose to do something else. I'm not saying it's easy, but it can be done -- that's how babies, who are basically selfish (okay, and cute, but still, very self-absorbed) grow up... they start noticing other people are real, and wanting to connect to them, so they learn to give up tantrums in favor of something else that works better.

Your wife is making choices to. It's clear that the two of you need to decide, as a couple, how to handle your differences. This is one of the most important choices you'll make together - every healthy relationship needs a way to handle differences as they come up, a way that works for both people.

That said, it rarely works to discuss something at the moment it comes up - because one of you is upset (or both). Not a good time to try to work something out. Maybe take a breather, come back and discuss it when you're both calm.

You might think, together, about what your ground rules will be for handling differences. Here are some suggestions:

> Drop it while it's hot - pick it up later. Cool off before discussing a problem, and if one of you gets hot under the collar, put it aside, cool off, pick it up again.

> No "you always" or "you never" statements. For one thing, even though they might feel true, they often aren't. For another, they're guaranteed to put the other person on the defensive - not productive.

> Stick to the subject at hand. No fair bringing up outside topcics, or things that happened a long time ago. No arguing about the housework, then moving on to the time you were sure she was flirting with the guy at the gas station, and... Stick to the immediate problem.

> Remember that your objective is to resolve the problem and strengthen your relationship. You care about each other, so the treat each other that way. If you think your objective is to "win," you'll attack each other, and you'll both lose.

I hope some of this is helpful. You might also consider seeing a family therapist - if you were lost, you'd try to get directions, right? A good therapist is basically a person with a map. If this proves to be something you and your wife can't find an answer to, you might ask a family therapist. Good luck!

Answer 6

THE EASIEST THING TO DO INSTEAD OF GOING TO COUNSELING, IS TO GO TO YOUR REGULAR DOCTOR. YOU KNOW, THE ONE YOU GO TO IF YOU HAVE A COLD, A STOMACH-ACHE,OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ONE, GET ONE. WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS A "GENERAL PRACTICE" OR "FAMILY PRACTICE" MD. ASK HIM FOR A MEDICINE THAT WILL HELP YOU TO RELAX AND NOT BE SO SHORT TEMPERED. THERE ARE MEDS THAT HELP THESE PROBLEMS. HE WILL PROBABLY GIVE YOU AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT, B/C THEY ARE SHOWN TO BE EFFECTIVE IN HANDLING MOOD, TEMPERS, ETC. THE KEY IS, NO MATTER WHAT HE PRESCRIBES FOR YOU, KEEP TAKING IT. IT WILL TAKE ANYWHERE FROM A COUPLE OF WEEKS TO SEVERAL WEEKS TO SEE A DIFFERENCE. SO DON'T GET DISCOURAGED AND STOP TAKING THEM. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE EXCEPT A TEMPER. BESIDES, HOW HARD IS TAKING 1 PILL A DAY ANYWAY? MANY PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU (PEOPLE I KNOW PERSONALLY) HAVE USED THIS ADVICE AND THEY HAVE "CHILLED OUT." IT'S NOT A "CURE ALL," BUT IT'S A REALLY GOOD START.

Answer 7

I used to be that way too.
What I learned to do, is to walk away, literally. I know that the angrier I am, the MORE LIKELY that I will DELIBERATELY say mean hurtful things to the ones I love, usually who ever is closest to me at that moment.....even if it isn't their fault.....and later I will feel bad because I didn't mean it, I was just angry and lashing out.

So, now I walk away, or just get very quiet and ask for space. I give myself that time alone and in silence so I can analyze myself and see WHY I am angry. I seperate FACTS from EMOTION. In doing that I can come up with a solution, and straighten it out without biting someone's head off or making them feel badly.

But when I am unable to walk away, and ask for space........HEAVEN HELP the person that keeps wanting to nag and ride me when I've asked to be alone. In those cirucumstances I don't feel so bad if I verbally thrash someone because they wouldn't give me the space I calmly asked for, so they were practically begging for it. =)

Answer 8

Loss of temper can get you in alot of trouble, so you need to go get some help controling that, do it for your family

Answer 9

Next time you get angry about anything, stop completely. Yes, just stop whatever you're saying or doing and take a deep breath. Count upto 10 slowly. Do it with the intention of calming down. If you still feel angry at the end of it, you could shout. But, hey, you'll still shout less.

Answer 10

You really need to get a grip on this thing before it ruins your life. Start exercising. Run or do something to take your aggressions out when you start getting angry. Let your wife know what you are going to do when you get angry....and then just lace up your sneakers and go. You will feel much better after you get back. It may save your marriage.

Answer 11

Horse crap. You CAN control your temper. You simply don't. When your wife brings up a subject you don't wish to discuss, you throw a temper tantrum, and avoid the subject you don't want to deal with. You want a serious answer- The answer is simple. Grow up. AND quit using your "temper" to avoid subjects.