its always the immature low lifes that complain.
2006-10-17 07:54:49 · 21 answers · asked by icecreamheadache420 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
ok im referring to the guy that got the woman pregnant...he cheats...then bitches about the support....how did abortion get brought up...this isnt a baby killer debate. if he leaves why shouldnt that sob have to pay....it doesnt matter....men will always think they should be exempt
2006-10-17 08:10:54 · update #1
I am sure there are a lot of men who are really "something" and they complain about having to pay child support, and I believe they should pay child support, these are his kids too. Now, having said that, I can tell you that my boyfriend pays child support for his two kids, $200 a week, and we have two kids of our own, he never complains about having to pay, what makes him really upset is knowing that "the mother" is using the money not exactly for the kids, she doesn't work, so the question here is "where is the money going really?" to them? when she buys them clothes at the good will? oh please!! , if you are receiving child support make sure it goes where it really needs to go, TO THE KIDS!! (food, clothes,and whatever THEY need), ...just a thought
2006-10-17 08:57:51 · answer #1 · answered by fun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The sad reality of this whole debate that is consistently overlooked is that there is a child involved.
"Accidental" pregnancies happen. It's a fact of life. To play the blame game, is a moot point. It doesn't matter who's fault it is. It doesn't matter if the pregnancy was unwanted, it's done, the child has been born. The child now needs to be loved, nurtured, and supported, both emotionally and financially. Both parents need to take responsibility for their actions.
The abortion debate brought up by others on this is also a moot point, once the baby is born, you can't justify not supporting it because the man/or women wanted an abortion. In the question you are posing, the child is already born, so now, there is a living breathing person that needs to be taken care of.
Frankly, I think these men/or women, need to stop spending all their energy fighting a child support obligation, and use that energy to raise their child.
2006-10-17 15:42:07 · answer #2 · answered by jemmy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it is and can be an unfair situation in which a man is forced to pay.
It is generally the immature low life women that end up not using contraception as well. This issue cuts both ways.
From a pure legal theory standpoint why should the man pay for child support in situations where BOTH of them had the choice to have sex without contraception and the woman has the final ultimate say?
Why should the man pay child support in the case where there was contraception used and it was tampered with or the woman induced pregnancy?
If your entire logic is based on the idea that the birth control is entirely the responsiblity of the man then if they use birth control and it fails (condom breaks) then whose responsibility is it?
Why should it be the man's responsibility at all when ultimately he has (depending on the state) less rights to the child when compared to the mother out of wedlock and the woman has the final say as she can always get an abortion or put the child up for adoption?
This is a much deeper issue than you are able to answer with your simple and argumentative question. What do you think?
Considerations should be looking at fault, last ditch chances, undue pressure, equal rights to the child and most importantly what is best for the child.
Since the primary concern is what is best for the child, they will use that to trump everything.
I do propose that to some degree in cases where the woman induces pregnancy in herself through fraud, stealing his sperm, wiping the used end of a condom to induce pregnancy (yes, ladies it does happen, as many screwed up dead beat dads as there are out there, there are also desperate uneducated women who try to hold a man by getting pregnant wiith his child).
I think in those cases, there should be a cut off and there should be absolutely NO child support available as the woman's fraud or reprehensible act in this case harms the man. In this one type of situation of clear-cut wrongdoing where there is definately a reprehensible act and shoulders to place the blame on, and an innocent party the child's needs should come second.
In all fairness the last ditch-effort and option of abortion or adoption is with the woman and ideally the man should have the right to terminate all parental rights and child support obligations if he would cover either 1) cost of abortion or 2) cost of pregnancy till putting kid up for adoption.
However we live in a society with insane catholics trying to push thier beliefs on everyone refusing to allow any non catholic ideas or beliefs to be valid so this is unlikely.
A more fair apportionment would be that if you are paying child support, providing there is nothing that would be harmful to the child in this case (you are a bad influence as a father) a condition precedent to child support would be equal visitation rights if desired.
It cuts both ways and isn't a simple issue.
2006-10-17 15:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're right from this standpoint. Any man who does not want children should not trust either the word of his sexual partner that she is adequately protected from pregnancy, or the integrity of a condom to prevent pregnancy. Which leaves vasectomy, the use of condoms AND other visible/proveable means of contraception at the time, or abstinance.
It's not just the 'low-lifes' who complain. There have been many men who fathered children unwittingly because they trusted the word of the woman they were with that she could not become pregnant. Women have historically used pregnancy and children to acquire wealth and power, and many still target men with means for precisely this reason. Our society's laws still award/reward women who have children in this fashion.
Additionally, women often think pregnancy will solve relationship problems. I've personally had girlfrends/acquaintances acknowlege that they have lied, and deliberately tried to become pregnant when their relationship was in trouble, because they believed a child would 'settle a man down' and save the relationship. Men who get trapped into fatherhood in this way have a right to be bitter, since the rest of their lives will be held hostage to their error of judgement in trusting their wife/girlfriend.
There are undoubtedly women and men out there to whom accidents happen despite all best efforts to the contrary. However, it's not by any stretch of the imagination the most common cause of pregnancy when the man does not want children. There are many studies which indicate that one of the big causes of violence against pregnant women is because women choose to become pregnant knowing that their partner is an unwilling participant.
The violence is unforgiveable. However, women who use their ability to reproduce in this fashion have no moral right to complain about lack of financial support, no matter what the courts may provide.
2006-10-17 16:00:50 · answer #4 · answered by functionary01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things.....One I really don't agree with the fact that a women can choose to have an abortion, thus not taking responsibility for the child, but a man has no choice in the matter.....don't get me wrong, a women who has an abortion as a form of birth control because she did not use, of make her man use protection, and a man who does not pay child support are both crap....they want to take the easy road. That being said....
Child support is expensive....for example my friend pays 400 a month for one child he had a couple of years ago...mistake but he is a part of the kids life and pays without complainign....however he is know married and has a child with his wife...he is not rich and because of the child support he only brings home like 800 a month for support his family....his wife works also but still makes things tuff....still he does not complain....now....his first childs mother....she does not work, lives with her mother, take gov. help.....when she does get a job she keeps it for about a week and then quits....she does nothing to help support the kid, and he still can't get custody....he still has to pay....that is what makes a lot a men mad...is that they pay some women take advantage, not all, but some.....which is not right either.....and then you have the guys who just don't want to have to do anything with thier kid and that is not right either.
So what about the women like the ones I mentioned...you never hear people complaining about them...they are just as bad as the guys who just dont' want to pay.....
2006-10-17 15:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by yetti 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Last time I checked, women could use birth control just as well (an MUCH more effectively and easily) as men. If the woman doesn't want a child, there is NO EXCUSE to get pregnant. Why doesn't SHE think about it? How hard is it to use birth control?
2006-10-17 15:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why is it a womans choice to have an abortion and the man has no say? If she decides to keep a child he does not want then he should not be held responsible, it's a 2-way street......she could have used birth control too you know. Now, if it was a choice they both made together to have the baby, then he wants to walk away, that is a different story....he should be liable for support.
2006-10-17 15:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by Scotty 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Usually cuz they think the ex is gonna spend it on themselves. I also think its the outta sight outta mind thing. Alot of guys don't even care whether they see their kids after a break-up. I know there are those who do, I'm just speaking on what I've seen most of.
My ex lies about his income and took me to court 3 times to have it lowered. He didn't report his comissions. And never got audited. And I couldn't prove anything. Now my son can't get the medication he needs, we've had to use OTC products which don't work any where near as well.
He decided, after he begged for a kid and married me, that he didn't want to have kids and even tried to leave my son with his aunt in Brooklyn, NY for good.
Needless to say, we are divorced now!
2006-10-17 15:07:59 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have submited a sensible and fair questo,that deserves a good answer by concluding you haveone of the best i,veread on q&a. my answer, many, many young women will not go along with birth controlebecause of pretended inocense,it,s absolutely a surprise situation and furthermore i,m a nice girl who didn,t plan this.the man is both flusterated and mad. he goes along with her thinking, and BOOM please dhs oh i need help so bad!!!!women should take some precautions themselves. i,m not saying the burden of responsibility is womens alone. it does however take a 'joint effort. pun intended, but very true. think about it
2006-10-17 15:11:00 · answer #9 · answered by houdini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are great big mama's boys that still believe the woman should take care of everything for them and they don't have to be responsible to anyone. It's hard to be a man when you have a video game controller in your hand.
2006-10-17 15:10:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋