2006-10-17 07:51:58 · 73 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please listen to this voice of experience. I didn't start college until after I was married and had a toddler. It was very hard to balance, house, husband, job, child. My daughter now is trying to complete her masters degrees with house, husband, and two children, one preschool and one toddler. She cries every day. There is not enough money to provide for the children and between two cars that break down almost daily in addition to daily life, she is ready for the looney bin.
2006-10-17 08:03:54 · answer #1 · answered by wanninonni 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really want to have sex but don't want judgment passed on you by some fundamentalist religious group. Here's an idea: Have sex anyway.
Don't worry about marriage.
God is love, right? You can't be right with god so long as you live on this earth. That would require you to be perfect, and no one is perfect, especially Christians who think they're somehow free from sin just by claiming to be Christians, going to church, and making some healthy lifestyle changes. I'm sorry that you have been so affected by these kinds of people.
Just be responsible. Get to know somebody before you screw. Go get tested together beforehand. Sex is great. Enjoy it while you're young. If you get married it will be the biggest mistake you ever made. Trust me, you don't want to tie yourself down at a young age— you will regret it for the rest of your life.
When you fall in love with the right person you will know, but you won't be mentally capable of an important decision like that till you're at least 25. That's why car insurance companies lower your rates after 25— your brain has matured by then. Be smart. Be careful. Be human. And admit you're a human. God loves you no matter what - don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.
2006-10-17 08:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is all up to you, what you want. I was still in high school when I married, just 1 month after I turned 18. If you want to, go for it. If you want to wait, wait. But why add god into it? Do you want to live with the man, or have sexual relations with him before marriage? If so, marry up, if it isn't you can always wait. Don't rush in because of sex, do it only if it is what you and your man want to do. I was happy that I married when I did, I wouldn't do it any other way, but it is not for everyone. I really havent "lived" much, but I don't regret it at all. I love that I did what I did, and had a child that will be two next month. I was even able to buy my first house when I was 19. I will be 21 in three months.
2006-10-17 08:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by gin 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think if you know in your heart that it is the right thing to do, you should do it. You have to follow your understanding of your faith, not society and what other people think. Other people's judgements come and go but being a good and true person is of eternal importance. The larger part of american society is so devoid of any true spirituality you cant look to that for any guidance. You need to do what you know in your heart is the proper thing to do.
It doesnt have to be a big expensive wedding or anything. My hubby and I had a potluck actually and it was great! There was tons of food, and everyone had something they liked and it was much cheaper than catered.
If you really dont want to get married until after school you must be disciplined and abstain from initimacy. Be engaged and wait to enjoy all the great things about marraige until you are ready to be married.
Good luck!
2006-10-17 08:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sara W : A great question ! Assuming, that you are of college age, you would be very wise to "build your barn before you plant your crop". Marriage is another growth experience in life's school of learning. To have a better shot at a successful growth experience you have to prepare for it. This preparation will help smooth off some of the rough "edges" in the experience (marriage) when you arrive at that point in your life. Money is important in a marriage, as many divorces and split ups occur due to a lack of cash in a marriage. Education provides money because education helps attain the "better job" in today's world.
Further; you mentioned God and being "right" with Him. It is God's will that you get your education, find the proper guy for yourself, then, get married. God wants you to be HAPPY in the long run - not regretting that you "jumped" into marriage without the proper education and savvy to make the relationship work. Don't make the mistake of trying to get out of a painful situation such as "going to school or college" be the reason for hopping into marriage. God gave you a brain to use to think with first, then act on those choices. - in that order.
2006-10-17 08:20:06 · answer #5 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always put God first above everything!!! When you get to heaven, you don't want God asking if He should finish school before he lets you in. It's really good that you're a God fearing person though, the world needs more people such as yourself.
I really think you should stop sinning and wait till you get out of school till you get married so you can be out of school, have more time and less stress and still be right with God!!
2006-10-17 08:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by ladystarrchild107 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wait until you are finished with college! That is probably my biggest regret... I need to leave my husband, we hooked up while I was still in school, the plan was I was going to be a stay at home mom (and am). School quickly went out the door (I was a Senior in college). Now I have nothing to fall back on and need out of this marriage and have two kids with another on the way and no way to support my family if I leave him. He doesn't make enough to support 2 households. Hold off if the guy loves you he will wait!
2006-10-17 08:35:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, god doesn't care what you do. You get about 80 years on this planet, and no second chances in years that you waste. If the man is lovely, and you can financially swing marriage, then marry. If you are young, and your personality not yet fully formed, you loose nothing by concentrating on your education. You two can remain a fiercely loyal couple, and not marry. Marriage is a piece of paper -- nothing more, and god couldn't care less, sweetie.... For sure, plan no children until you each have your education taken care of. And major in subjects that can earn you both a good living. You get one shot at lif -- don't make too many mistakes, and the biggest one is to have a child when you are not financially prepared to care for one.
2006-10-17 08:05:03 · answer #8 · answered by ladyren 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First off, god doesn't live YOUR life... YOU do. Do it the way it's right with YOU. If it feels right - then do it, enjoy yourself, and be happy. If not - hold off, there's nothing wrong in waiting. If you think about it for a moment, I'm sure you will agree that god has better things to do than follow every move you make and shake his finger at you for trying to make things the best they can be for yourself and others. I don't think the fact of being in school necessarily excludes the possibility of marriage - things that make a marriage likely or unlikely to succeed more often than not have little to do with school. Can you realistically see yourself with this same person 5, 10, 20 years from now? If you don't feel you can, don't commit to marriage. Good luck.
2006-10-17 08:08:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your in....
High School = Wait, you might have the feelings that will last but you need to establish yourself as an adult before you establish yourself as a married adult.
College = Depends, community college is a lot more open and less demanding on relationships because its not as close quarters or as large scale as a university would be.
But with all that aside, it really depends on the depth of your love and devotion to this person you want to marry or are engaged to. Regardless of the situation you're in, there are going to be many obstacles and situations that you did not plan for or failed to even consider. This is going to result in a lot of compromise, a lot of frustration, aggravation, contemplation but hopefully no constipation.
Look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself 'Can you see yourself with this person for the rest of your life'. And if you want to be right with God, and by that I'm assuming your referring to having sex.... Well I'm Catholic but in my mind Divorce is a lot worse than saving yourself for marriage. So instead of leaping into it to get the approval for current issues, wait until you know that you will both be in it for the long haul.
2006-10-17 08:09:25 · answer #10 · answered by imrealsolid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am glad that you have some moral values compared to everyone else...If the man loves you he will wait until you get out of school and wait until you are married..If you feel the temptation is getting to you, i would get married and be right with god and finish school too...
2006-10-17 08:03:33 · answer #11 · answered by angeli2cutie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋