My ex will call me and ask if I want to hang out. I'll be bored or my friends aren't available, so I'll go because he makes it sound like fun. But, when I'm with him, he always makes me feel used or makes me feel miserable. He'll start talking about his new girlfriend, or we'll go do something and he doesn't bring money so I end up paying, or he'll say "let's take your car because it's nicer" and he wants me to drive all over. And then I go home all pissed off because I know he completely used me. But, I don't feel used when he asks to hang out and for some reason I always think "oh, this time he's being sincere." And he never is! I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I fall for his stupid lines everytime. Aaaarrrgggghhh!!!!
2006-10-17 07:45:56 · 23 answers · asked by ☆skyblue 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
dear sky,
I do not have an ex but have a husband of 33 yrs. My friend is going thru something very similar though and I want you to know you are NOT an idiot! YOU are not stupid but just in need of some strength. He is your EX for a reason...ignore him...Concentrate on your SELF...your self worth , self esteem , self confidence and self reliance. Stop all communications with this USER...you are obviously a sweet person and give people the benefit of the doubt which is a very good quality,,but NOT in his case.,,,And if and when you feel a "bored" or weak period where you think he may be wonderful ....call a friend,,,your mom,sis, minister anyone....or play on here,,,just do not talk to him...I will say a prayer for you and there is another very good activity !!!!!...best to you.........
2006-10-17 07:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by blahblahblah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL....you are a sucker aren't you? Hey...by your own admission too. So....I give you credit for that. So now that you've shown you have no qualms of making a fool of yourself answer me this;
What are you expecting when you go with him? I mean there certainally must be something that you're looking for because you do this each and every time despite the same result. I'm not necessarily talking about getting laid. I mean is there another motive?
You got rid of this guy...you know he has another babe on the side and yet you subject yourself to this. Why? has he this much sway over you? Do you actually think that perhaps you'll get back together and if you did...why the hell would you want to?
Tell you what...come see me. I have 2 nice cars, I make a very good salary and I pay for everything. not only that...i won't discuss past relationships and if you want alittle action...i won't push. You can fool around or not...matters not to me.
What do you say?
2006-10-17 14:57:24 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been through this exact situation. I had an ex that kept feeding me the "I'm sorry, I really want you back, I want to spend the rest of my life with you line." And you know what I fell for it every time. Why? Because I still had feelings for him.
I believe that it is a mistake (at least it was for me) to remain friends with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends especially if you feel you are being treated badly. I also believe that the another reason I kept falling for it is because I didn't think I could do any better.
So, although it's not exactly what you are going through I think I can releate on some level and I think you need to stop hanging out with this guy. I mean even my friends don't make me feel like he makes you feel.
2006-10-17 14:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by Elisabeth R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I've been through something similar with an ex but mine was a bit different...But in the same light...
It isn't stupid to keep falling for it neccasserily...Anyone can be fooled by a pretty face or someone that mean a lot to them...
But on your own time you'll realize that it feels better to not be used by him....one day I just woke up and realized you know what? Technically my ex needs me a LOT more than I need him...
And I felt so much better from the point I realized that on...I realized I didn't need him...that it's okay to be fine without him...
When you feel worse after hanging out than you did before hanging out, something is absolutely wrong...you're only hurting yourself more by allowing yourself to be used...
Next time he asks, try to say no....and in fact it would be better if maybe you even explained why...
Something like "Well to me it seems everytime we hang out we're always using my resources and we don't really have just everyday talk, we're always discussing your relationships...If we could just hang out as friends and talk about friendly things it might be different but maybe for a bit we should stop hanging out"
Or something to that nature...hope this helped!
2006-10-17 15:02:06 · answer #4 · answered by The Taste of Ink 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No... & thank goodness I don't have an ex like that. He's a cheap loser and just be exstatic that you guys aren't together. And if he keeps going at that stupid rate, he will never find anyone that will last. I'm so spiteful.... The next time he asks you to go out.. Bring no money.. but just enough for emergency use (i.e. cab, etc..) And rave on and on about your NEW boyfriend. Totally just cut him off and start splurging about your life, and how wonderful it is. And DON'T pay.. tell him that you left ur wallet at home. Let him have a taste of his own medicine. What a jerk!
2006-10-17 14:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jenna S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey turn it around and stick up for yourself. Next time he asks you out say it like it is. Say flat out I dont have the money and I have no gas in my car. That right there will tell him he has to drive and pay. Dont forget to mention how you have ex boyfriends and even maybe a line about how good your friends boyfriend treats her and how nice it is. This is if you dont wanna just completly tell what for on the phone before he even comes. If youre not strong enough to just let him go. Let him chase you around. It might teach him a lesson. Good luck with whatever you decide!
2006-10-17 14:56:54 · answer #6 · answered by Charlotte H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you already know what the answer to your question is, and that is he IS using you. Wake up and realize that he is only out for what he can get....dinner, free rides and so on. Quit hanging with him, even if your friends are busy and your "bored" you have to ask yourself is it really worth it? Stop letting him use you, move on to bigger and better things and learn to say NO!
2006-10-17 15:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by mslo25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, something similar, but i used to say yes because i still cared for him. i didnt ever end up paying or being his taxi service tho. i think next time your ex calls say your too busy. if your bored, get a good movie, a box of chocs, and a bottle of your favourite drink. find more friends so there is a choice when other friends are not available, but dont be his purse strings or his taxi, you are worth more than that.
2006-10-17 15:02:05 · answer #8 · answered by Veronica C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds to me like he IS using you. Thats why it feels that way probably. Set your own limits. Don't let anyone use you. Demand what you want instead. See what happens. Say, you drive, you pay, we are oig here, we will do this or that , if you want to, then he drives you home. If he won't dump him. It should be both give and take. He has a girlfriend. Don't let him dump on you.
2006-10-17 14:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he calls and you're bored so tempted to say yes, think about how much better it feels to be bored, than used, miserable and pissed off! I've been in a similar situation, and as long as you allow him to behave that way, he will..... I probably would too.
2006-10-17 14:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋