If your mate has issues what do you do. My spouse does not haev sex with me or do anything nice for me. She had a relationship which I think is more than what she admitted too. She admitted to only havings feelings for this man. I think it is much more because he wont stop contacting her. She even told him she loves him before. Anyway her parents only hear her side of the story and tell her she needs to leave me. We've only been married for 15 months now and it sucks. She is mean and hateful towards me and she always claims she is the sole provider when both of us have great jobs and pay all the bills together. Anytime I bring the relationship she had up, she gets mad like crazy mad and starts cursing etc. If I do anything, even if its small like not cleanign the restroom, she bitches about it all day.
Would you leave or what?
Also on my birthday, she didnt buy me anythign because she wanted me to stay home but I went out because I work 70 hrs a week and wanted to go ot
2006-10-17 06:08:07 · 18 answers · asked by Mister Tee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds awful. You should consider counseling, and you need to know just how far this relationship went.
2006-10-17 06:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by akristel2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be depressed, and is feeling overwhelmed. There is obviously a lack in communication and she feels isolated. If she was happy and you were both on the same page, sex would be mutually enjoyable.
You are the closest person to her so you are catching the majority of the flack. BUT there must be something that you are withholding from her for her to act like that. You said that when you do something small like not cleaning the restroom.........well how many OTHER small things are you doing on top of that?
What are you doing for her? Are her emotional needs being met? Are you being selfish? Are you controlling or inconsiderate, or demanding? We are only hearing your side, and if the symptoms are as you said.......then something tells me that you are leaving ALOT out. Only you know the answers and what lies beneath.
I can't sit here and comfort and console you because there is something missing from this picture. Money isn't everything. You can make a great amount......but if you aren't being of better support in the home, then your money is nothing. If the responsibility is left to her to run the house, AND work, AND do the other stuff she has to do..........then it sounds like she IS single. And under those circumstances she doesn't have the time or patience to see about your needs.
See about hers, and be considerate, and I'll bet she will gladly return the favor. Stop making it about YOU. Put yourself in her shoes, and think about her, and then compromise and do what is right for the BOTH of you.
2006-10-17 14:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by lilac b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are going through the same thing. He doesn't pay attention to me and he thinks that I am the one having an affair. I packed my stuff and left yesterday and I don't know what to do. He doesn't even hang out with me because he works so much nor does he do anything special for me....so I know how you feel. A far as leaving, you need to ask her what she wants to do, don't let her string you along if she doesn't love you, you deserve more than that. I feel so neglected to the point that I don't know if I love him anymore because I feel like I don't need him. Maybe the both of you should take a break and see if you still have feelings for each other and maybe a break is the only way to realize it.
2006-10-17 15:02:28 · answer #3 · answered by akraft1@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave. She doesn't appreciate you and doesn't value you or your income.
If you are going to stay I recommend figuring out what your total bills are per month and divide it by two and only put in your fair half to cover those bills. Everything else put into your own private acct. This way you can build a nest egg that you can use later for what you want. She is free to do the same. This way both of you will have the financial freedom to stay or leave this marriage if you choose too. Plus it also shows that neither of you are sponging off the other.
2006-10-17 14:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think the relationship is worth preserving seek counseling, but it does not seem like she wants to work things out with you and i would leave her. Just go to a buddies for a week or so and give her time to think about things. If she goes out and meets with the guys then you know it is over and she doesn't want you. If she comes back to you, try to work it out. I am sorry man, i am going through the same things with my husband except he did not cheat, well in the normal sense of the word. Good luck. She sounds like a real *****!
2006-10-17 13:23:22 · answer #5 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she actually having a affair right now? When my spouse was having an affair he was always starting fights with me to justify him going to be with her. You really do need some kind of marriage counseling, and if she refuses to go, then you need to file for a divorce. It is not fair in any marriage to have to go without passion. Especially in a new marriage! There is always Mrs & Mr. Right out there. (if this is not them) Just seek couselling and if that doesn't help get a divorce, those are your only options.
2006-10-17 13:28:27 · answer #6 · answered by panda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is, in her own way, begging you to leave her. If you leave her, it will make her feel better about all of the infidelity that clearly goes on behind your back. This is not going to be easy, but I think you should leave now! Maybe when she comes home to an empty house, she will realize what she is missing. It is my belief, that you will realize how much better life is without her.
2006-10-17 14:05:22 · answer #7 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to get out now. Sounds like she is verbally abusive and cheating. Of course she isn't going to admit to having sex with another man while married to you. Hon, grab your dignity and run.
2006-10-17 15:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by razzyrascal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is more to the story than what you are telling us. Either stay with her and try to work it out or get a divorce.
2006-10-17 13:17:47 · answer #9 · answered by Allinwiththenuts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth hurts, she doesnt love you. She loves this other person and is treating you badly because she isnt happy. Dont take it personal, it happens to the best of us. Dont waste your time with someone who treats you bad and doesnt respect you. Good Luck!
2006-10-17 13:20:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋