I know I sound pathetic, but I haven't had friends over to my house since I was kid. Now my friends have invited themselves over for my b'day and I really don't want them to come! I just feel like my house, family etc won't measure up to theirs and that they'd have a rubbish time at my house and judge me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some insociable loner, it's just that having someone over to my house is a bit of a step into my personal space for me. I can't exactly tell them not to come cos I'm too embarrassed... so what should I do?
2006-10-17 05:56:47 · 23 answers · asked by Baby Doll 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Have your party somewhere else, like at the bowling alley, skating rink or the movies. You could even suggest going out to a restraunt for your Birthday.
2006-10-17 06:04:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mauki90 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either get over your embarrasment or get over the fear of telling them not to come over. I have the same problem because all of my married friends have nice new houses where everything is put in place. My husband and i have a small house that needs a lot of work with no storage. There is stuff everywhere all the time. We also have an 8month old. I understand where you are coming from when you say you don't want people to come to your house. I just try to suggest another place, if not I suck it up and try not to care what other people think. If they are good friends they will not care either. This is your problem and it is fixed easily.
2006-10-17 06:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thing to remember is that their your friends. and if they're true friends (which i think they are) then they don't care about how much stuff you have, where you live or how fancy your house is.
they want to come over for your birthday so they can celebrate you! not to judge you or make you feel less than anyone else. it seems to me like they really love you and just want a chance to show it.
and i know what you mean about the 'step into personal space' i'm that way as well, very much a creature of comfort. but what i've learned is that stretching that comfort zone and letting a friend in can open you up to great possibilities and deeper relationships. (just put away anything extremely personal that you don't want them to see.)
Have fun... don't fret....and remember it's okay to be a little bit scared, just don't let it control your life choices...... and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
2006-10-17 06:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by Raven 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if they are going to come over then you need to set the terms of the event. Start planning now to make it a fun event. Throw in a theme for them coming. One of my favorites is the color party. Everyone picks a color, wears the color, brings one food and beverage item of that color and you pretty much get drunk by the end of the night. Make sure you have some music going on, a table for the drinks and bevy's, etc.
The most important thing is to let everything go. If they are not having fun, they will find a way to have fun. I just had a party myself not 2 weeks ago and I felt the same way, but you know what? Everyone enjoyed themselves! Everything will be fine and it will be a party you'll never forget.
2006-10-17 06:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by b-rad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends should like you for who you are not what your house looks like or how your family is. If they have a problem with your family or house then their not your friends and never have been. Parents can be embarrassing but alot of kids go through it. The way your house is shouldn't matter. Unless its really dirty inside and outside you have nothing to worry about. Just tidy up your house before they come over and everything should work out just fine. Just remember that if they don't like you because of your family or house they are not your friends. Good luck
2006-10-17 06:06:30 · answer #5 · answered by Heather A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them you made alternate plans. meet them at a mall and plan for a movie or meet at a restaurant. tell them they would all have to pay for themselves though. like a TGIF or something like that. doesnt' have to be an expensive place. that you would rather do that since its your birthday and you are at home all the time if they ask. if they say we'll pick you up...tell them you won't be there and will meet them at the restaurant....tell them you have to go see your grandma or something. they shouldn't give it a second thought though.
on a more personal note. i would work on being more proud of your family. looks and money aren't everything. they like you for who you are and not what you have. i understand as teenagers appearance is the most important thing...i have a teenager myself. i don't crowd his space cause i understand where he's at. but i also want him to be proud of who he is and were he comes from. maybe talk to a school counsellor about this. just for someone in person to get some feedback from.
2006-10-17 06:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by Jody SweetG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your house a mess? Are your parents not up to par and you feel they may embarrass you? Maybe you just need to spruce up your room and "change it up" a bit; why not repaint, reorganize and then clean the house; everything will feel fresh and it will put you into a more "open" state of mind; if it's just paranoia, then I'd suggest a chat with the Doctor...In either case, just make your space relaxing and fun...for you and your "company/friends". You'll be glad! Make sure you have some decent snacks and drinks handy.
2006-10-17 06:06:10 · answer #7 · answered by sweet ivy lyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could suggest that you meet somewhere else more neutral, like a mall or a restaraunt, saying you'd prefer that(and since it's your birthday, your friends would most likely oblidge). But in all honesty, you really shouldn't worry about it, as your friends shouldn't make it an issue, but if it's something you're not ready for, just suggest you go out instead. Happy (early) birthday though.
2006-10-17 06:07:35 · answer #8 · answered by Gretchen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do the same thing. Get embarrassed by my home. Compare. Does you house look as good as or better than theres? Don't worry. Just relax. Most good friends are not gonna judge you like that. Unless you live in an absolute pigsty.
2006-10-17 06:02:33 · answer #9 · answered by ♫ Insane_Princess ♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are your FRIENDS they won't care what your house or family look like... I mean it's not fair to them your family or even yourself because your not really letting them be true friends and letting them in your weak spots... and also when thick gets thick and thin gets thinner the only ones that will stand by you are your family so why be embarrassed stand tall and proud.... and if they are repulsed or embarrassed well at least they took half the job for you....
2006-10-17 06:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by candylbsb45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋