Prettiest princess 2
As you smile
You open a door of sunshine
To my tropical life
When your eyes are open
A new colour is formed
It is so powerful
That you should be the next rainbow
You were born to be a star
To be admired in the dark
You shine in the night
And, you hide in the light
But, never mind
You are still the prettiest princess
I’ve met for quite a long time
2006-10-17 05:56:36 · 29 answers · asked by bubul 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
its childish.
it would go well for a girl who likes bratz dolls
2006-10-17 06:02:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very good.
Firstly it uses well thoughtout imagery.
Secondly some parts work on another level to the obvious.
Thirdly it uses the unusual idea if something wonderful being better in sharper contrast.
The Princess sounds like a radiant person of great quality. If she is a real person I would try to keep her happy, if she is fictional then I thank you for sharing her with me.
2006-10-17 15:08:30 · answer #2 · answered by monkeymanelvis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet. Is it for your other half?
The only thing that troubles me is the Prettiest princess 2. Who was 1? Be careful putting that in, you might have some explaining to do...
2006-10-17 13:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by sfuiio y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is quite lyrical in its style, were you thinking of putting it to music?
Some of your descriptive techniques err a little on the predictable side, it is quite common, for example, to use images of light and stars etc for describing loved ones; maybe think a little bit more abstractly, and try coming up with something that is more personal to you.
The rythmn is good though.
Brave you for posting it, ignore those who bash it, it is easy to criticise, but not so easy to be creative and show it to the world!
2006-10-17 13:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by gruffalo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but this poem has a sort of naive pleasant feel. It sounds as though you might have had someone in mind? do you think she might appreciate this poem on an occasion like a Birthday, or anniversary? I think it sounds cute and you ought to carry on writing more of them...................I for one would love to see those too. Good Luck..
2006-10-17 13:11:50 · answer #5 · answered by biggi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute
2006-10-17 13:04:15 · answer #6 · answered by Heavensent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It`s a bit rough round the edges & needs re working but for a first effort,okay.
2006-10-17 13:14:20 · answer #7 · answered by edison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of fluff with not enough feeling. To many sappy metaphores, tone that down a bit and you might have something.
Good Luck :)
2006-10-17 13:07:42 · answer #8 · answered by Rich "The Panda" B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's quite good. Ever think of sending it to a magazine or showing it to her.
2006-10-17 13:04:40 · answer #9 · answered by Lone Eagle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its great! Keep up the good work! oh and by the way im a guy lol
2006-10-17 13:05:09 · answer #10 · answered by Alex C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋