My fiance broke up with me 1 week before I was supposed to move in with him (he lives 2 hours away). Our relationship has been great and we did not have a fight (we only ever had maybe one fight!). He said @ the time that he was in love with me and that I am his best friend but he was scared to make the wrong decision. I know he still loves me b/c the day after he broke up with me he drove to my house and we just cried togethr all day but he said he feels sick to his stomach when it comes to taking that final step to moving in together. I think he is commitment-phobic, but how can I get him back???
2006-10-17 05:48:13 · 6 answers · asked by tn38 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Okay, I know that if I can strike the right balance with him, he will come back. I just don't know how to not wear my heart on my sleeve. It is almost more than I can do to get up and go to work every morning. I want to make him miss me while still letting him know I MIGHT come back if he asked, not that I am sitting around waiting for him (I am sitting around doing nothing not b/c I am waiting for him but b/c I can't even really function right now!), and not that I am so far gone that he has no shot at all.
Advice?
2006-10-17 06:16:10 · update #1
The only way to truly get him back is to let him go. I know that sounds like a contradiciton, but it is very true. If he has commitment issues, then if you love him you must let him face this in time. It may be that he is not sure about how committed he is to you, and respects you enough as a person to be honest with those feelings, rather than drag you along for the ride. Now you must be honest with yourself. Is it better to break it off entirely so that you may heal and move on. Or is just being his friend enough. Dont put yourself in a postion where you feel you are taking less, because then you will feel less. Search your own feelings and ask yourself what do I want, and do I think he is able to give it to me, or am I fooling myself and wasting time on something that will never pan out. Try not to be angry. I know it's hard but it's better to be honest than to lie. I applaud your boyfriend for the courage it took to make such a decision, now you must do that for yourself
i wish you well
2006-10-17 06:03:08 · answer #1 · answered by fryedaddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dad always told me that if a guy breaks up with you, you shouldn't beg him to take you back. I didn't understand why then, but i do now.
If he loves you, really cares about you, and he wants to be with you , he will. He sounds a little emotionally unstable. You need to ask yourself if you really want to be with him. If you do, maybe suggest him trying baby steps-like you staying with him for a week...just to see how it feels. If he can make it through a week..try 3 weeks, then a month...maybe this will make him see there is nothing to fear, and that he can feel comfortable living with you. If he isn't willing to try, then maybe he needs time to figure out what he really wants. But don't put your life on hold for him, it's not good for you. If you meet somebody, you should not hold back b/c of him. As cheesy as it sounds, if it is meant to be, it will be.
2006-10-17 06:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by Val 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he wants to be with you than he'll come back, you should never try to force someone to be with you b/c you will only push that person away more...he may need time to think things over who knows... however if he seems to be drifting away from you... than i think you might know where this whole thing is leading to....you should never sit around wondering how you can get someone back....if he wants to be with you, i''m pretty sure he knows where to find you....however if you find your self holding on to nothing than you should consider moving on...it's not an easy thing to do....but why wait on someone who may never come back to you.
2006-10-17 06:08:29 · answer #3 · answered by tanya m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk over.. it.. calmly..
at least set a time line..
at this moment.. shouldnt just break up...
maybe... continue.. the relationship.. till the time line..
so that he got enough time.. to think...
whether is he really in love with u...
or is he only treating u as his best friend...
regardless hw it turn out...
do take care...
2006-10-17 06:08:04 · answer #4 · answered by garfield 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesnt sound like you need to 'get him back' just get him over his phobia. hes either scared of the commitment or hes still trying to find out if your the one for him.
2006-10-17 05:57:17 · answer #5 · answered by uncle odis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF HE REALLY LOVES U, HE'LL GO FOR IT.
NO COLD FEET...
2006-10-17 05:59:24 · answer #6 · answered by cutesy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋