my bf and i got into an argument this morning because he refuses to see me every single day. and every time i leave him comments on myspace he bairly responds,but he leaves his friends comments about hanging out all the time. i just started working really long days and ive been really tired and he has just about no sympathy for me when he works 15 hr days and i always show him that i care and give him massages and everything. but once i do he just doesnt care
well i got on him because it seems like everyone else he likes to hang out with all the time but me...and im his gf of almost 3 years. we used to hang out every single day. he says he wants to avoid fighting because if we see each other all the time we might start fighting. thats understandable.he never seems to miss me. i show more affection. to me it's like i have a miracle here..but to him it seems like im just a trophy to show off to his friends and someone who he sees on HIS time
whats the deal!?!?!
2006-10-17 05:45:54 · 29 answers · asked by Lisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I hate to say it, but YOU REALLY NEED A NEW BF. He seem really immature and selfish, those are two qualities that you don't need to saddle yourself with.
2006-10-17 05:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by akelaamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like two factors are at work here. One is that your relationship seems one sided, like you are putting more into it than him. The other is that you may very well be smothering him a bit.
If you want to save your relationship, it might be a good idea to back off for a bit, let him feel non-smothered, and then after a week or so of being around him less, and laying off him on this subject, go to him and confront him about it, tell him you want to spend more time with him, and you feel like the relationship is one sided. Don't yell at him, don't be accusative, demanding, or whiney. Make sure you are calm and in control of your emotions, and ready to listen to and consider everything he has to say, even if it isn't what you want to hear. Talk it out after he feels less smothered and you may have a more favorable response. If you are around him less, he may realize he misses you more. The more scarce your presence is, the more valuable it becomes. And be willing to recognize and admit to him that you may have some fault in this as well, don't try to throw blame around, just try to fix the problem and move forward.
Remember that change will not likely be instantaneous, and there might be some changes you both have to make to make it work. But if this doesn't work, and he refuses to listen, it might be time to find a new boyfriend. One sided relationships can be fixed, but only if both parties want to fix it and are willing to work at it. Otherwise, they are doomed.
2006-10-17 12:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by The Link 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These kinds of situations can be really tough. I do think he loves you and cares for you, but he may be at the point in his life right now where he does not know what he wants from this relationship. With it being three years, you should be spending a lot of time together, so he may be feeling pressured and just needs some space. My suggestion: give him a little space, distance yourself a little bit and see how he responds. This is tough to do, but be strong and hang in there! I know its tough! With some less time together and with giving him more space, if he continues to act distant I would discuss your feelings with him and consider laying it all on the table for him. I hope this helps! Good luck and hang in there!
2006-10-17 13:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by MichiganFan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't a trophy not even close. The writing is on the wall. Get yourself some self esteem and stop being so damn needy. He doesn't have time for you. That means he doesn't have time for you. If he cared he would make the time friends or not. You are the one with issue. Let him be with his friends.. get the hell off myspace.. go hang out with your friends.. and go get a life. A desperate girl isn't attractive. If you are always hanging around without your own life you become boring. Do your own thing and if he wants to make the time he will. IF he doesn't then stop answering the phone and get on with life. Stop begging for his time!
2006-10-17 12:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how it is to argue all of the time. Ive almost lost my boyfriend because of it. And what makes it even more difficult is the fact that i live with him, so i cant even get away from him to clear my mind. Im with him all the time and i love it. but he needs his space too. dont force him to spend time with you, that wont make the situation any better. Try giving him all the time in the world, test him, see if he truly misses you. Since you say that youve been with him for 3 yrs im sure he'll feel something, if he doesnt see or hear from you.
2006-10-17 12:57:13 · answer #5 · answered by Srah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aer about to lose this man. He is feeling trapped and pressured by you. If you love him and want o keep him then you need to STOP PRESSURING HIM. Tell him that you can see that he has a lot on his plate and that you are not getting what you need right now so you would like to take a break and pursue your own interests. THEN DO IT. If he loves you, it won't take him long until he is begging you to get back to your old ways, but... Don't be fooled. He will eventually do the same thing again. He has lost the need to 'chase' you so you are not a priority anymore. You need to make him chase you a little to get your attention.
Good Luck!
2006-10-17 12:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by tn38 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not trying to be a B@$^& but you need to give the man some space..He should be aloud to do things with out you. If you become more and more needy of him, he is going to bolt. So you need to lay off of him and show him that you can be independent. It will work out much better in the long run!
2006-10-17 13:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jesabel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AM sorry but seems he needs some space and for you to stop nagging him so much every single day 24 7!!! Give him space and everythign will be alright. Seems to me you do not want himseeeinghis friends at all that you want him to yourself. By doing that it will make him not come to you more and more.
2006-10-17 12:55:59 · answer #8 · answered by LadySonia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to see you everyday, means that he may not be the one you should marry. Three years together is a long time, and enough time to start talking about the future together. You love him, but it's time for the "talk". He's either in or out!
Good luck.
2006-10-17 12:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by MD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's using you definitely, but he is also losing interest in you trust me i've lost interest in plenty of girls. but he might also just want some space because you wanting to be with him every second of every day makes him think you are too needy/clingy
you need to somehow rekindle his interest and i can't say how because i don't know either you or him.
or dump him before he dumps you beause i guarantee there is a better guy out there.
hope for the best sorry i don't know the details or i could help out more.
2006-10-17 12:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by Clark H. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him. seems like maybe he doesn't really want to be in the relationship anymore, but doesn't know how to tell you. Or just lay off him for a while...give him some space and see what happens. Doesn't seem right, though...I would leave for sure. Not worth it. You will find someone else who treats you the way you deserve!
2006-10-17 12:53:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋