Why does women except any and everything from a man just to hold on to him? Where is the self Respect?

Answer 1

I believe not enough women were raised with the important characteristics of a woman--how to be independant, how to show you care, and how to care about yourself. I believe that as you are growing up, it's your parents job to show little girls (specifically) how to treat others and how to treat themself...it might sound like common sense, but i dont think many parents even try to show them this. I dont think they take into account the way they will feel if they become overweight, or if they get glasses in elementary school, what the other kids will say...parents need to work their hardest to show their daughters that they are strong, beautiful women so that when they are adutls (or even teenagers) they will have enough respect for themself to leave a bad relationship, because women who stick around after a man has cheated on them, lied to them, hit them...whatever it may be, those women dont have respect for themsleves and those women didnt learn how to love themselves from their parents.

Answer 2

Well it depends on the type of women you are. If you were raised and thought you were here to serve a man and be at his beck and call then you can say self respect is not a factor because it is what you know. Other women were raised that they do not need a man to do nothing for them and they treat the man with respect if the man gives it to them.

Answer 3

My guess is that women were economically dependent on men and it wasn't possible to have a family without a man. Because women wanted families, they were forced to overvalue men rather than more realistically value men based on their character.

There are still women who don't feel competent functioning in the adult world. I guess these women are who you are talking about. With the vast majority of divorces being filed by women, there are also many women that don't spend a lifetime putting up with crap. I think this group is growing and the dependent women are shrinking.

As for myself, I didn't find a decent man to marry and I had my children on my own. I figured it was better not to give them a poor role model and they wouldn't have to go through a divorce like 50% of their counterparts. Yesterday, it was announced that fewer than 50% of households contain a married man and woman. Given that American society does not teach the skills necessary to sustain a happy marriage, this is not surprising.

Answer 4

Dee Dee, you really struck a nerve here. 70 answers and growing. It isn't just the women, it's also men. And many of both sexes have more self respect than to let themselves be run over like that.

I am a co-dependent, and I am glad to say there is a way out. Tain't easy, but learning from my mistakes has improved my self image a great deal. I am less likely to let myself get roped in, and when I do, I get out quicker because I feel more worthy of less pain. I doubt I will ever be normal, whatever the hell that is, but I am getting better. 2 steps forward, 1 back, is still a gain.

Good luck to you, and all those who Identify with this problem, including myself. I believe you have helped a lot of us out here. You let us see we are not alone in this area. Thanx.

Answer 5

Your question caught my eye: Are you meaning Expect or Accept? I don't expect anything out of my man, except love, help, and the check LOL (I"m a SAHM) I'll accept any forms of love, but no abuse. I've walked out before on an abusive man. I'll do it again. However, There's a line that says love is blind. My ex fiancee (sorry hun) used to have me do everything: Walk the dog I was frightened of, clean the house, cook, carry all the groceries in after shopping, (after a 30 minute ride with them all on my lap) and feed and house his friends. I did it all, and then some without complint. He snapped and left me. I'm with a man who helps me, most of the time. Self respect? Very hard to come by!

Answer 6

For one if you look at Maslows Hierarchy of needs, 1 eating/ drinking, 2 safety/secrurity, 3 belonging/love, 4 esteem/respect, 5 self actualization. So it's easy to see how people naturally look to satify thier need for love before self respect, especially if that need is not being meet through any one else. Culturally, alot of women never LEARNED how to have respect for themselves and demand it from others. They may come from places where no one respects women or they parents never gave them any respect so therefore not expecting it from a boy friend or husband is the norm. Maybe their esteem or drug problems. Maybe she depends on him to provide for the house or the kids. It could be an exchange "she allows him to disrespect him for ___________" ? Point blank, there too many issues to answer! She may just not have a problem with being disrespect as others may have.

Answer 7

I don't know why other women would act that way...but I was like that ...not that we don't have self respect...sometimes when you are brought up in a culture where you should lose your virginity to the person you married...and you had sex with your bf and later when he wants to leave you...you feel like you will never get another guy and you feel less confidence about yourself...You feel like a slut a disgrace or something...although, it's not that important nowadays but when brought up in that sort of culture the girl may tend to be clingy and all that...but I realise that if a person really love you he /she will not mind your past and will support you instead !

Answer 8

Some women are just crazy over there man to the point where they don't care about respect. They just love them so much. But me if a man doesnt give respect then we can't talk cause he'll think he can do anything or say anything.

Answer 9

I considered myself educated but I stayed with an abusive man for 25 years. He separated me from family and friends and in the end I believed him that I was worthless and that no one else would ever have me. I finally broke free. I have a wonderful husband now and would never let anyone treat me badly. I think woman like me get worn down with the negative input by men who are controlling. At first we accept the control as caring and before we know what hit us we are caught up in a co-dependent nightmare. when children come along it is even harder to leave. I don't have any answers for women living with this but I finally broke free and life is so sweet. Michael and I have been together for 7 years and I couldn't be happier.

Answer 10

Some women don't have self respect enough to stand up for themselves. Families raise their children to believe a vast array of truths about men, women and relationships. And unfortunately a lot of women grow up with misconceptions of a man's "rights" in a relationship.

The truth is, women do not need men as much as they think they do. Companionship is nice, but not at the expense of your own personal dignity and pride. No one in your life should ever make you sacrifice your personal values and beliefs in order to hold on to them. If they do, they don't belong in your life.