During our relationship he cheated and he told me a number of times he didn't want to be with me. I was pregnant at the time so I held on to him. When my son was about 6 months his dad got locked up. he served about 2 years and 11 months during this time I promised I would wait for him but doubts and men got the best of me I cheated. When he was released we got together but I noticed he did not want the realtionship. It ends up that he found out that I was with other people. He now says he doesn't love me but that he wishes he can. He said he wants to stay with me because he promissed to never leave. I love him and I've tried to explain that I never stopped loving him that I've always been the one ready to marry him and make it forever and his lack of love and attention has made me look at things in a different way. What do I do? Like i said I love him but my heart is confussed do I continue to wait and see if he can forgive me and love me or do I let him go? I know this is punishment
2006-10-17 04:50:11 · 16 answers · asked by a_sweet_latin_mami 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Quit beating yourself up.
You made a bad decision. It sounds like he has made a few of his own.(prison time)
You can't stay with someone in a one-sided relationship, and you are fooling yourself if you do.
Whether he forgives you or not is not the point.
When you are confused " do nothing"... Wait, and give yourself some times to sort things out...
Don't rush into anything and make another bad decision.
Perhaps it is time you made a go of it on your own and find out how strong a woman you are and spend some of your time with your child, nourishing them and making them feel special.
You need to see a counsellor and talk to someone about your choices.....
You seem needy and want someone in a relationship with you, be careful who you choose....this is not a fairytale....
2006-10-17 05:31:11 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first. There is no cheating if you truly love each other. I don't care who did what, if you cheated, there's something missing in the relationship and you are not ready to be getting married. That goes for both of you.
You only cheat on a spouse if there is something lacking in your relationship and you are looking to fill that void with someone else.
It could be intimacy, communication, laughter, anything. But if something is lacking, marriage is not an option yet.
Now, stop and think about this also. Is the type of person who would spend almost three years in jail the type of person you want to share your life with and role model for your son? I can't place judgement as I don't know what he was in for, but that's a question you need to ask yourself.
Lastly, how many times do you need him to walk over your heart, emotions and feelings to realize that he's not the right guy. Sounds like he's been pretty shitty to you over the years. With only one side of the story, it's hard to judge, but it doesn't sound promising.
Ask yourself why you would want to spend the rest of your life with someone who openly admits he doesn't love you? Why punish yourself that way? That is taking away your personal chance to have a happy, healthy, loving relationship with the Right one.
Do some serious soul searching before doing any talking about marriage. Marriage is the last thing you need to do right now. Dig deep in your heart, and decide what's really there. Don't lie to yourself. It's easy to lie to everyone else when it comes to your feelings, but good grief, don't lie to yourself.
2006-10-17 05:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Allycat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dalia ~ Please do this as soon as you are done reading this ~ walk over to a mirror, look at yourself, see her? She does not deserve to be treated like this. She was created by a God who loves and adores her, even if no one else does, He does. He created her for a purpose and wants her to come to Him. You are being treated like a disposable door mat! Why? What are you getting out of it? Are you thinking you are being punished? For what? Wrong!! Stand there, looking at yourself and repeat this, "I am a wonderful woman, loved by God, I am a Mom now and I can do all things through Christ who will strenthen me." Never give that guy another thought - I promise you, he will not think about you. He is a cancer, a desease, wrought with the sin of this world, his choice. You DO NOT have to choose his life - You are better! God made you special ~ He wants to be there for you and your child. PLEASE - look at yourself and promise yourself (for your child) that you will get help, move on and NEVER look back! You CAN do it! I know you can. I will keep you in prayer. No more waiting! It's up to you now, you do not love him - if you move away from the situation, in time you will see that it is not love, but a pitiful addiction to some thing you are getting from the circumstance, it's not healthy for you or your child! Look at yourself - you deserve so much more! You go girl!!! :)
2006-10-17 05:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by Forever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
REALITY CHECK! Oh so sad- you screwed up!
Sounds like you need to step away from MEN. Keep your legs closed and mind open. Get an education, good job and live a better quality life. Be a role model for that child.
You need to be more responsible for your actions and put being a good mother to that child as your priority in life. He is an innocent person that you chose to create. Stop being so selfish.
That is it! All the rest of your life that only MAN in your life will be your son! Along the way, you will realize that the "MAN" you want will be the man you create in your son. Then your love life will be on the market again.
2006-10-17 05:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by Denise W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone makes mistakes noone is perfect. If you forgave him for what he did then he should beable to forgive you. But forgiveness takes time. Maybe he just needs time. A child though is never a reason to stay with someone no matter what. If your not happy your child will know and see that and it will effect the child and you. All I can suggest is talk to him and tell him how you feel either he feels the same or he doesn't. If he doesn't then move on and know that at least you tried that's all you can really do. Just becareful and do what feels right to you.
2006-10-17 05:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you want to feel guilty. What is there to be confused about, other than six years and a child later you do not have a ring on your finger and you took no vows! Now, had this have happened while married, you are dealing with another set of matter. You owe him nothing; other than to be a wonderful mother, share custody of your child and receive your child's support. With no disrepect, it sounds to me as if you want a marriage. So,ask him and get it out of your system. He says "no", then move on for your sake, your heart and your child's best intrests. Keep him a part of your child's life by all means. Good luck and very best wishes for you all.
2006-10-17 06:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm telling you now... DON'T waste your time on this man as you will be sorry.
With men, there isn't a two way street. It's okay for them to play, but it's a no no for you. You have no commitment to this man. You bore his child and now there's a link of sperm and egg. This is not a commitment, this was an act of heat of the moment.
IN JAIL! Oh come on now. He's only using you and doesn't mean a word he says. Think of your child.
My dear girl, find someone with a good job, is on the level and loves you.
2006-10-17 05:56:47 · answer #7 · answered by Katherine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you forgive yourself, is the question. He cheated. You cheated. You both should get out now and prevent yourselves what is bound to become a big nightmare. Look after your baby. That little gift from God. HE gave you the little angel. You seem to be more concerned about yourself than you are with your baby. Priorities. Where are yours? Go forth and no looking back. Not even a glance. Find a man who is clean and respectful. Now wouldn't that be nicer?
2006-10-17 05:35:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly each and every from time to time we meet human beings in our lives whos makeup fulfills some void we've and a few choose we've at that factor. It seems which you crammed a undeniable void in his life, something he replaced into lacking on the time and now the momentum has replaced and he has moved directly to a various section in his life. Its no longer own, he has discovered somebody who suits his desires for a fashion he feels and thinks now. He might have seen your relationship as informal and doubtless deep down the two certainly one of you didnt healthy one yet another as companians. This has no meditated photograph on you as a individual, its greater to do with the form of relationship you acquire into. I advise, i truly grew to alter into linked to a guy however the minute i met him i knew we've been 2 diverse human beings and wouldnt make a proper couple, that didnt stop me leaping in any admire and that i replaced into sorry i did. I had a broken coronary heart for a pair of year yet on the comparable time i knew we got here from 2 diverse backgrounds with diverse ideals and habit and that i didnt like his life form. i'm hoping you sense greater constructive quickly, it is going to take time yet whilst youre with somebody 6 years and theyre nevertheless informal then according to probability youre greater constructive off getting out so which you will locate somebody greater constructive who has the comparable objectives interior the relationship as your self and desires to dedicate to you.
2016-12-26 21:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to be with a man whether it be a relationship or a quickie. Some time on your own with no men would be a good idea, decide whether YOU WANT HIM. think about what you do want in a man.
It also sounds like you want to feel needed, remember your son in all this. He needs you, he doesnt need you staying with his father when he's not really the one you want.
If he did love you he would forgive and forget. It sounds like he's stringing you along so he wont be single.
2006-10-17 05:54:11 · answer #10 · answered by mrsflax81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋