Rate this story from a scale of 1-10 please.?
evan a young college student age 22, predicted football matches for fun, until one day he became so good that he decided to make a real business.
Evan and 5 freinds created their own little business while evan predicted matches simultaneously, and make money out of it when he got into the gambling business, things did not go so wel until their business apparently did not expand that much until evan and his 5 freinds met a mafia bos ho would help expand therir business largely. Things look as if they are going great when evan is made the top boss of the scham but two officers are on his trail to stop him.
2006-10-17 04:45:52 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
STOP SENDING MESSAGES! DAMN IT YOU ARE ANNOYING ME ALREADY I WAS EXPECTING POSITIVE REUSLTS NOT NEGATIVE!
2006-10-17 05:39:01 · update #1
8
2006-10-17 04:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by spineminus2 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
2
2006-10-17 04:53:39 · answer #2 · answered by KE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3
2006-10-17 04:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by yacekiih 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4
2006-10-17 04:58:31 · answer #4 · answered by Alisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay.. forget the grammar.. you can fix that.
You have an idea.. Now put it down in order.
Evan is a college student.. what gave him the idea to start a business? How long has he been predicting?
Evan has five friends.. maybe introduce them by name.. or how they became friends.. Why did he choose these friends? do they have connections?
You have to have structure.. What grade are you in?
1.a character,
2.in a situation,
3.with a problem,
4.who tries repeatedly to solve his problem,
5.but repeatedly fails, (usually making the problem worse),
6.then, at the climax of the story, makes a final attempt (which might either succeed or fail, depending on the kind of story it is), after which
7.the result is “validated” in a way that makes it clear that what we saw was, in fact, the final result.
2006-10-17 05:28:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are punctuation and grammatical errors that need to be addressed and you need to be more specific about the events to make them understandable to the reader. This is not a complete story...you need to have an ending that relates to Evan and the two officers and possibly what happened with the mafia boss. I would rate it as about a 4 the way it stands...keep working on it and you will get there.
2006-10-17 04:57:13 · answer #6 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spelling errors! Punctuation! Not a story, a beginning. Not very interesting at that. On a scale of 1 to 10 it's a 3.
2006-10-17 04:54:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
9
2006-10-17 04:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
2-3
2006-10-17 04:52:48 · answer #9 · answered by sonicboom28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is that it? You do intend to expand the story, right? Maybe try that spell check button?
Sounds like it could be an interesting story, not all that original, but interesting nonetheless. I'd give the idea a 6. Your synopsis, I'd give a 1. If you intend to write a story, you ought to consider picking up a book like Strunk and White's Elements of Style. That can help you learn to write better.
2006-10-17 05:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by dogsaysmoo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋