How do you like my poem?

Question

"See You Later..."



Cursing, angrily letting go off my fiercely rage
Directing the thunderstorm in a surrealistic image
Hoping for an apocalyptic world-wide damage
Imagining buildings by force of tsunamis or colliding asteroids destroyed

I’m surprised and terrified of my own death-bringing power

Angrily I direct my revengeful force towards the tower
Flames shake themselves, dancing in an aura of light, setting ablaze a torid fire
Inside, I cry out madly for revenge, in emptiness I cry out for an absurd, lonely desire
I’m all shrouded in the cloak of hate, in my revenge I’ll schedule you all to arrive too late

I won’t just slip quietly, anonymously through the gate

Slaying memories, cutting deep into their heart, murdering them not in cold blood
But in maddening, raging, destructive fury, not at all hiding that I am glad
In my revengeful wrath I want everybody to feel so much more than sad
I punish them by my absence, I am torn by a strong rage, I am not mad

Answer 1

huh i found this by typeing my name in the search engeen. Well any was I like it alot and dont listen to people that tell you that this is not pourtry, i think it beatifull. Very good first draft! I dont really like the very begganing like the first line, It just does not seem like a start of a poem. I like both of the single lines, it portreys very deep emotion. I also dont like the very ending, i like that the poem really needs to be longer so that we can get a clear image of why she is mad From what I get Some one murdered a loved one of this person and she is seeking revenge, but I could be totally wrong. It also reminded me or 9/11. I really like the 2 and 3 veses, and the first on is okay. I like how you worded evrey thing it gives the poem a nice rythem. Again the is an exellent first draft and please post a 2 one if you decide to make one!

Answer 2

ouch. kinda harsh there emilyride. try for some constructive criticism next time ok?

This is a good first draft. You have plenty of strong imagery portraying the strength of the speaker's hatred.

In the second draft you write, focus on either working out a rhyme scheme (if you want it to rhyme, it doesn't have to. if it doesn't, then focus even more on the next part) an example of rhyme scheme is: abab c dede f ghgh where the first & third and 2nd and 4th line of each stanza rhyme) or working on the cadence (also called the "beat") which is the pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables.

In the third draft, focus on the element you didn't work on in the second draft.

once you finish with all that, you will have a very potent poem.

good luck! and please post the final product :)

Answer 3

Wow, that's absolutely horrible. It's a very immature poem, stylistically as well as topically. It has a completely used-up rhyme scheme, that doesn't even work or rhyme correctly in parts (rage/image ?). Much of your imagery is completely hackneyed and really doesn't make sense or create any emotions (cloak of hate?). This is a fantastic example of what I call the 'Teenage Diary Poem', where someone just writes there feelings down willy-nilly in incomplete sentences, and calls it 'poetry'. It isn;t poetry. For angry poems that ctually work, please see: Rimbaud, Crane. Sorry, I feel like a jerk, but you asked.

Answer 4

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably could rhyme even nonetheless it needs to hit my thoughts. i think of clarity of expression is substantial besides. i do no longer decide to 2d wager what i'm reading approximately. I continuously look for what I term "poetic gemstones"interior the text textile.

Answer 5

I believe there is a true talent beyond the angry words. Poetry is meant to convey an emotion/emotions, but there is always a yin to the yang. Equality is everything in life...could there be a silver lining? I love your word usage.

Answer 6

lovely, very romantic. it is about a woman scorned and is covering her broken heart by lashing out at the people around her
because she cannot confront her former lover.

Answer 7

cool

Answer 8

hmm.. intense... need to relax... breathe in... breathe out.... lol