well at first i thought his single coz that what he told me...then later on he confessed that his happily married...i tried to forget him but i cant say goodbye to him no matter how i tried...so i accepted the fact and continue to love him...but it aches me everytime i think of the situation.. theres no single day that i didnt cry thinking that the man i love can never be mine.... but the thought of losing him and not be able to talk with him really hurt me most...i tried so many times to find someone but my heart is calling out his name...so now i dont entertain anyone...coz i love him with all of my heart no space for anyone.... what am i to do will i forever be alone coz he cannot be with me or he cannot stay by my side coz somebody owns his heart??
2006-10-17 04:10:17 · 28 answers · asked by ely 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Say goodbye and move on IMMEDIATELY. Married men are off limits and you are immature if you think you can change that. He won't divorce her, he'll keep you on the side - and it's the worst position to be in. Don't be a home wrecker - trust me, you're not worth it. Move on and seriously grow up.
2006-10-17 04:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's time to have that talk because you guys go any further down the friend lane. You two should watch "Just Friends". It's hysterical and exactly what your doing (except your not a fat loser). Simply ask if he's not looking for a relationship with anyone or if he's holding out for that special someone. Ask how he first thought of you. You might be able to feel him out through random questions before you spill your guts. And thats something you should do. You have to tell him that you care about him more then just the BFF that he is to you. Be open plus being friends first is pretty nice.
2016-03-28 12:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by Aline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this several years ago and it's heartbreaking and depressing. If you let it continue, what could be a good life with love and children of your own is passing you by. I went to a counselor, read lots of books about affairs, etc., spoke to my pastor, and prayed constantly. It took a long time to get over, but I stayed in my marriage and so did he. This was best, and I can tell you what didn't work: trying to say good-bye to each other. I hated hearing it, but the best advice I can give you is stop without any further communication. You are in love with a fantasy man - he is not the real deal that you have made him out to be in your mind and heart. He is like a drug to you, and you can kick the habit. Yes, there will be withdrawals, and temptations, but get a friend who knows the situation and supports your desire to stop the relationship, and every time you are tempted to call or see him, call her instead. I wish you love and healing!
2006-10-17 04:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by Heffiner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is let him go. He is a loser 2 start with. He is married. He will only get what he wants from u then throw u 2 the side. Let him go. Time heals all wounds. U will hUrt 4 a while BUT then u will b somewhere and out of the blue u will meet someone who will sweep u off ur feet and he will not have any commitments 2 any1 BUT u. Hang in there and good luck. If u don't like that advice go with the old wives tale....."Let him go and set him free, If he returns it was meant 2 b".
2006-10-17 04:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by bammbamm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the guy is not happily married, or maybe it took him cheating to realize that he is, either way that is not your concern. But what I will say is this. I know right now it feels as though there was a connection, and maybe there was for you, but in order for it to be completley satisfying it has to be for him as well, and it sounds to me that it isnt. You have to ask yourself do you love him, or do you love the idea of him. Are you hoping for the happy ending that you feel another woman already has. Are you pining over the fact that he loves his wife enough to not be with you, does that in itself make you want him more. If the reasons are yes, then ask yourself this if you love this man because of his devotion to his family, if he left his family for you, then wouldnt you be destroying the very essence of why you fell for him. Maybe this happened to prepare you for what a real realationship without the fantasy really means. What you need to focus on is what you want, and how to achieve this not in your mind, but in your reality. The only way you can do this is to let go of him, so you can embrace yourself, and move on. I know you are hurting, because of the lack of, but through that hurt is where you will find strength and clarity to better your decision making..
I wish you well
2006-10-17 04:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by fryedaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a newly wed. I got married a year and a half ago. Take it from me, as a married woman and a wife, you will be looked at as a horrible person, and/or a victim. A married man not only is off limits, but a bad situation to be with.
If that guy was my husband, I'd be ticked off at him, one for lying to you about not being married, two for stringing you along, and three, most of all for lying to me and breaking our sacred marriage vows. Those vows are said in front of dearest friends and family and I take them seriously.
Also, if my husband ever cheated on me, you can bet your boots that I would do everything I could to make him pay, financially. You wouldn't want to be with my husband after I was through with him. He would have to move back in with his mommie.
Also, there's the saying, "If he'll do it FOR you, he'll do it TO you." If he will divorce his wife to be with you, whose to say that in years to come another chick younger than you won't come and steal him from you?
I just see you as a victim, not as a bad person. You seem vulnerable and young. This guy is a creep for lying to you. Think about his intregity. He has none. He's lying to his wife and he lied to you. What kind of person does this? You deserve a guy that will devote his life and all his heart to you. You need a guy that will die for you. You need a guy that has integrity, an education, and a conscience. Move on, have a good cry and get him out of your head. A married man is just a mess and will only bring you heart break.
I hope his wife knows or finds out about this, so she can move on from this creep too.
2006-10-17 04:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by kim_faut 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say, don't look He ( Mr. Right ) will come when you least exspect it. The man you fell in love with was just in the way of your blessing to come girlfriend. It won't be long when Mr. Right steps in. You've had a closed heart all this time, Let it go girl. And if you try to go back to him your just only hurting your heart more. He is not going to leave her for you if he hasn't by now Good Luck!
2006-10-17 04:35:47 · answer #7 · answered by reddsmith69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooohhh....this is so moving. Why....I'm reaching for my hankerchief now to stop these tears rolling down my face at this horrible dilema you're in.
Yeah..right. First of all you dip he lied to you right out of the chute by saying he was single when he was not. Of course, why should someone who lies in a relationship be of any concern huh?
You people deserve all of the misery situations you mire yourselves in can give. On another note, learn how to spell and construct a proper sentence will you?
2006-10-17 05:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're so stupid. I was stupid when I was there so not judging. Move away. Leave yourself no opportunity to see him since you have no discipline. He's a liar for one. He said he wasn't married then he said he is happily married. So now you know he is just a cheat. Cheat on her, cheat on you. Don't be stupid. Too many single good men in the world to get sprung like this. Think of yourself not your heart. Your heart is wicked and only wants what it wants when it wants. Do what is right fair and just. God's blessings and wisdom to you.
2006-10-17 04:23:33 · answer #9 · answered by kyle g 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He lied about being single.
Said he is "happily married"
"not be able to talk with him"
You don't know the man! You've build up the IDEA of the perfect man in your head and gave him this other man's name.
You know what you want now, so go and try and find it. I can tell you one thing this guy isn't it.
2006-10-17 05:21:02 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing good will come out of falling for a married man. For being happily married, why did he pretend he wasn't? He doesn't sound like the most honest person is the world. Wonder what his wife would think if she knew he was going around telling people he wasn't married.
2006-10-17 04:19:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋