My wife had a surgury that pretty much deleted the idea of sex. I love her very much, but self pleasure only gets you so far. What should I do to get rid of these cravings? I feel horible thinking this way, but that craving is driving me crazy. Any ideas?
2006-10-17 04:08:41 · 22 answers · asked by sum fun 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sit down and talk to your wife, go to counseling, whatever to save your marriage. She may willing to try new ways to please you, or allow you to try other ways of engaging in sex with her. There is more than one way to have sex with a woman. And if that doesn't suit her, maybe she can suggest something.
I know a similar situation that happened and the couple actually invited someone into the relationship that could handle that. The shoe was on the other foot though- it was the man who could not perform. He hired someone to take care of that and the couple stayed together. Weird because I wouldn't ever do it, but it is an option!
Talk it over though- you never know what you can be doing until you talk about it!
2006-10-17 04:17:21 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know people who are married to each other and have sex with other people. They also have sex with each other. It's called polyamory or swinging, depending on whether or not there is any desire for an actual relationship with the other partners (swinging means you're just in it for the sex).
It is absolutely not for everyone. Any problems you thought you had worked through in your relationship with your wife will almost certainly resurface, and you may find that you have to deal with those same problems with anyone else you take as a partner.
So...it can be done, and it can be done successfully, but it's a HELL of a lot of work. Possibly more than you'd really be willing to put into it. I'd recommend instead trying to find other creative ways that your wife can be involved in your sexual gratification.
2006-10-17 11:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long will it be that your wife can't have sex? If she can have sex in the future it will be worth it to wait. Think of all that pent up aggression that you both will be able to release. But for now you need to be satisfied with hand jobs ad blow jobs. Is anal sex out of the question too? If not that's always another option just make sure to invest in anal eaze as not to cause her too much pain.
2006-10-17 11:36:35 · answer #3 · answered by ♥♪ TrickNice ♪♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR MARRIED! til death do us part...through sickness and through health...weren't those part of your vows?! who cares if her surgery "deleted the IDEA of sex" **** you for thinking that way! be loyal to your wife. she needs you now more than ever! you have "casual sex" with other girls, your commiting adultry and destroying your marriage...deleting any idea of future sex. have you possibly though of talking about this with HER?!? perhaps she needs you to.perhaps forplay is still in?! DAM use your common sense...and if your dik is more important than your "love" than just dont even waste her time anymore and leave! go be the slut *** hole you wana be and leave her alone, dont hurt the woman already in enough pain and suffering as it is!!! dam...WHY do people like you get married?!
2006-10-17 11:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by *wonderful lady* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without going into great detail (wink..wink) there are other ways to pleasure each-other.
I would be devastated if my husband went after casual sex. It would destroy the foundation of our relationship. The guilt alone would be damaging. He too would be equally devastated if I did the same.
2006-10-17 11:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by <><><> 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Psychologist say that in your situation, you can satisfy your sexual cravings by grabbing a book and going into the head and releiving those frustrations. I hope the situation with your wife improves and hope that this problem is temporary. SHould it become a permanent malady, please consult professional help/
2006-10-17 11:21:35 · answer #6 · answered by demilspencer@yahoo.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
glorymomof3--AGREED.
People downplay the importance of full physical intimacy in leiu of deluded fantasies about the 'way things should be!!!'. As long as your wife is numero uno in your heart, you'll be fine, and hopefully she's secure enough and intelligent enough to feel the same.
2006-10-17 11:26:10 · answer #7 · answered by Leena Rosen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I couldn't have sex with my hubby, and oral etc was no longer enough i might give him permission to play with some boundaries. i suggest you talk to your wife. she may be more sympathetic than you realize. can your wife still receive? because if she can and you dont perform for her there is no way shell let you with someone else.
2006-10-17 11:17:30 · answer #8 · answered by canadian housewife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
going to someone else will not make things better,maybe you could try oral with her if at all possible or find out from the doctor what could be done,just dont go somewhere else that would hurt your wife
2006-10-17 11:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you think your wife feels? You seem pretty selfish at least you can still have sex if you want.
2006-10-17 11:17:42 · answer #10 · answered by Shadow Kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋