IT'S BEEN MONTHS SINCE WE HAD SEX. HE CLAIMS IT HAS NOTHING TO DO W/ ME...IT'S A PROBLEM HE HAS. SAYS HE HAS NO INTEREST BECAUSE OF DEPRESSION...BUT OBVIOUSLY HE DOES IF HE IS ON THE PORN SITES??? I HAVE TOLD HIM NUMEROUS TIMES HOW UNSATISFIED AND UNHAPPY I AM...WHY CAN'T HE STILL TAKE CARE OF ME??? I HAVE TOLD HIM THAT PORN DOES NOT BOTHER ME USUALLY...IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO W/O...THE FACT THAT HE IS MAKING A CHOICE FOR THAT OVER ME. IF I WERE SATISFIED...THEN I WOULD EVEN ENCOURAGE IT. WHAT AM I NOT UNDERSTANDING HERE???
2006-10-17 03:53:38 · 30 answers · asked by D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HE IS ACCUSING ME OF "ACTING LIKE AN ***" FOR BEING UPSET. WHAT DOES HE EXPECT...I AM SEXUALLY STARVED! HE THINKS I SHOULD JUST "GET OVER IT" SO EVENTUALLY I DO, BUT WE STILL DON'T HAVE SEX AND SOONER OR LATER THE SITES SHOW UP ON THE PC HISTORY ONCE AGAIN. AM I BEING STUPID ABOUT THIS???
2006-10-17 03:58:17 · update #1
Do you take care of your body? or has it gotten out of shape after kids and the usual culprets in life? He has to work at it too.
This maybe one reason but addiction to porn is a real problem too.
2006-10-17 04:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
2
2016-07-17 07:16:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he isn't satisfying you but satisfies himself on line, then you have a problem. A healthy sexual relationship is important to a healthy marriage, and if you include porn great but if he hides it, that is not great.
I've talked with many people about this and for the sake of your marriage, I would recommend counseling. Try not to judge him or make him ashamed. He is depressed right now, which is common for guys, but he needs to know he can trust you and that you will always be there for him no matter what type of bad things he thinks about or has done. Most people that are depressed feel alone, show him that he is not alone. Stay strong and support his needs and if you can get him to be less depressed you might get you loving man back!
2006-10-17 04:13:16 · answer #3 · answered by tightlies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your church and get your husband into a Purity Group. NOW! If he refuses to go - set up for a divorce. He is fully addicted. His addiction is outside the bounds of your marriage and he leaves his vows to you every time he goes there. Learn about boundaries and how to establish them to protect yourself from his illicit behavior. If you have a computer in the house - ditch it! Today! Unplug it and get it out of the house. Would you keep alcohol in a house with an alcoholic? No! Would you keep drugs laying around with an addict in the house? No! You do not keep a source of addiction around where an "addict" is living. You are feeling EXACTLY what most women feel about porn. And 99% of men do not understand this. "It's just a picture." "It doesn't hurt anybody." Well, now you know what a lie that is. Personally, I get really frustrated reading what people write on this site about porn and its innocent results. PEOPLE - it's a lie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EDIT: to nyappy - watching porn IS the same thing as having a woman on the side. You don;t get it!
2016-05-22 08:36:20 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i dont think so, looking at porn is what blokes do, but for him it seems like he is neglecting you for it. Is he the type to cheat or is it just the porn? usually when there is a lack of interest he could be going elsewhere? If this is not the case sit down with him, but not when u have just found the porn, at a sensible time and say you want to have a conversation about it and that you are unhappy, he should listen to you and both meet in the middle!
2006-10-17 04:04:03 · answer #5 · answered by sexy pussycat 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Any man who chooses porn over a living, breathing woman has a serious problem. Does he not realize he is setting you up to cheat? I'd have him followed and see if he is cheating, a married couple going months without sex is abnormal. If it really is a "problem he has", he needs to see a doctor. Block the porn on the computer, you can do it with easily downloaded software. Then see what he has to say for himself. He really needs to seek help or you need to seek a good divorce attorney. Not for the lack of sex so much, but for his complete disregard for your feelings. He seems not to care about you very much.
2006-10-17 04:14:26 · answer #6 · answered by Lotus 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is depressed, is he receiving treatment?
If he responds to you this way, there is more than sex at issue.
If he won't go to counselling with you, get counselling yourself.
If he is addicted to porn, then he probably is "spent" and uninterested in real contact and satisfying someone else's needs and desires. Try catching him before he turns on the dvd/internet, if he is in a good mood.
As Dr. Phil would say, "Why are you accepting this?"
2006-10-17 04:05:35 · answer #7 · answered by grapeshenry 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first is the all caps necessary?
I sounds like he does not find you attractive , and I am not saying that to be mean I am sure your very pretty, but porn puts perfect figured images in guys heads and how are normal woman supposed to compete? Tell him to turn off the computer and live in the real world or you will find a man who will take care of your needs.
2006-10-17 04:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by Shadow Kat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey DEAR:
well the truth is he is not interested in you! Most men avoid telling their wives that they no longer love them or they r unattractive to them so they lie and say that they are tired or depressed! The fact that he is going to these sites and not having sex with u means he has either become a homosexual or he is ahving an affair!
Do yourself a favour girlfriend, suggest counselling if he is really depressed as he says and if he donot go, and refuses then have an affair!
Look you have two choices and life is soo short, you have been patient for too long! While he has been an inconsiderate pig!
Either you have an affair , hire a private detective to trail him and get the proof he cheats and divorce him or just divorce just like that!
Good luck!
PS but cheat on him b4 you leave it will ease your pain and help u to move on in life, revenge is sweet and in your case , it will be sweetrer!
Sanam
2006-10-17 04:08:05 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Here's a idea. Have him discover you looking at a porn site. It may lead to a discussion of your needs.
2006-10-17 04:13:36 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋