I have just suffered a miscarriage i was 7 weeks preg, has anyone got any advice on how to cope with this?

Question

we are so upset. I would like to try again next year but worried it will happen again. i Am lucky i have already got 2 lovely girls 2 yrs and 3yrs. So i know there are others worse than me out there.

Answer 1

First, I am sorry for your loss. I've had 2 miscarriages this past year, and it is hell.

First, don't try to grieve on anyone's time table but your own. You will have good days and bad days, and that's ok. Just take things one day at a time. For me, after my first m/c I counted it a good day if I made the bed. You will feel sad, confused, angry, guilty and like you want to withdraw from life. This is normal, the thing to make sure to do is to get up and not let your grief consume you.

I suggest keeping a journal about your feelings, and be totally honest with your self about how you are feeling, how you are interacting with others etc. I found that when someone would day something stupid, I would just write how I really felt about them in my journal...it made me feel so much better. If you feel like talking, find someone you trust and talk, it could be your spouse, or a friend, a counselor, a priest etc. I have found talking to other women who have gone thru this has been helpful.

As for your physical recovery, your period should comeback with in 4-6 weeks. Your first period can be light or heavy, it will just depend. My first period after the first m/c was light and short. The first period after the second m/c was medium, And you should start trying again when you are ready...don't feel pressured to do something you're not ready for.

A book I suggest reading is "Gone too Soon: the life and loss of infants and unborn children" by Sherri Wittwer. It's on deseretbook.com or amazon.com. I also have a blog about my miscarriages, you're free to read miscarriagejournal.blogspot.com.

Know that you are not alone, there are many who have been where you are are and know what you are going thru. My deepest sympathay goes to you and your family. Good luck with everything.

Answer 2

There isn't that much that you can do, but start by remembering this: miscarriage is, unfortunately, very common, and most occur because of a chromosomal issue with that particular embryo and do not reflect any problems whatever with fertility -- most women who miscarry do not have problems becoming pregnant again and carrying a healthy baby to term. I'm assuming that your previous miscarriage was early, occurring during the first trimester, and that no testing was done and/or no cause for it determined. IF that is not correct -- if you had a late miscarriage and/or *know* that it was caused by an underlying issue that puts you at risk for subsequent miscarriage, that's a different story, and in that case you should contact a high risk OB (aka a doctor of maternal-fetal medicine, aka a perinatologist) and ask to be seen ASAP. Not only is miscarriage common, but the truth is that there is *usually* nothing that can be done to prevent an early miscarriage -- I say "usually" because those that are caused by some underlying health issue may be a different matter, but, by and large, early loss happens because the embryo is not viable. I know this doesn't make things any less stressful, but you should keep it in mind: the best thing you can do is take care of yourself, and try to remember that there is truly no reason to believe that you will suffer another miscarriage. Nonetheless: pay attention to the way you feel and, if you think anything is amiss, call a doctor. If it comes to it, you can always go to the ER if you think something is wrong and can't get in to see a doctor. And another thing which may not be "proper" -- if you really feel stressed and want to get an early scan, and can't get one at this point, call your doctor's office (or whoever can get a scan arranged for you) and give them some made up complaint about how you feel physically and sharp cramping....basically, raise concern about a possible ectopic pregnancy, and they will want to do a scan to rule one out. Yes yes I know it's not necessarily the "right" thing to do and perhaps some people here will give me a big thumbs down for even suggesting it, but there it is. I've had recurrent pregnancy loss and I absolutely know the stress and fear of early pregnancy post-miscarriage. I'm so sorry you're stressed out about this, but really, chances are absolutely in your favor. Best of luck.

Answer 3

Very sorry it happened to you. Don't think there is any advice on how to cope, people are different and the situation is not an easy one. But as a lot of people have already said it, chances are you'll have another baby soon. It never happened to me but I know what it's like - I used to rent a room in a household where the landlords' son's wife had to have her pregnancy terminated after more than 30 weeks. The baby was well-developed and apparently healthy, but... dead. And she only didn't have a miscarriage because she was a strong healthy woman and really looked after herself. The doctors said she could go on with it but the baby would be stillborn anyway so it was better to finish it right there. The whole family was heartbroken including me as I was very close to them. They had already finished decorating the room and bought most of the things for the baby. Luckily, it was her third pregnancy and she already had a boy and a girl who were not old enough to understand what was happening. I think if not the children, she wouldn't be able to cope. Anyway, we had the funerals and then 2 months later she was pregnant again and her little Josh is 5 now. So just take comfort in the fact that these things do happen and they only make you stronger and you will have your baby soon, just don't despair and keep trying. Your baby just wasn't ready to come yet, when it is, you'll have it. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I suffered a miscarriage at about 10 weeks after trying to get pregnant for 2 years but had no children and thought my whole world was falling apart - everything went through my head like you thinking will I be able to have a healthy pregnancy etc. But the best thing to do is if you really want another child is just look to the future, ignore people who say you will forget about it soon because it will always be there in your heart but you and your partner need to help each other through this and be strong. Three years on and I have a beautiful 17 month old boy and am now 9 weeks pregnant - so you see it can be done - keep your chin up high but dont bottle up your feelings thats the worse thing you can do. Take Care and good luck!!!!!

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your loss,i had a miscarriage last year and found it so difficult to cope with,i also have two children and they do make you realise how incredibly lucky you are but it doesn't stop you from thinking about the child you lost,my advice to you is to take comfort in your children they seem to sense you need it and cry if you need to,whenever you need to,when i lost my baby my sister and sister in law were both pregnant so i gave them advice and offered experience to them,maybe this is something you could try,i am really close to their children now and have also just given birth to my third child,we tried a few months after and felt a mix of emotions when we got pregnant from guilt to complete fear,spent the whole pregnancy worrying regardless of healthy test results,we couldn't relax until she was in our arms but it goes to show that you can still have a successful pregnancy after miscarriage,i hope that this helps you in some way,enjoy your children and good luck for the future!

Answer 6

I know how you feel I m/c 2 months ago at 8 weeks. my husband and I were devastated. but we found this site www.pamsupport.org and we sat down at the computer and talked though the questions we had together... they were all answered by other men and women just like us that had left posts on the net. The main thing is to talk about it.. and cry and don't let anyone tell you , you are being silly you are allowed to grieve for this unborn child. just because it wasn't in this world long doesn't mean it hurts any less.
my husband and I had so many stresses with a wedding and we were attacked in our park and had parents tearing us apart with stupid arguments and friends thinking I was wrong not to tell them I was pregnant instead of consoling us. not to mention all the normal stresses in everyday life and work.. 2 weeks ago I had a melt down my body had, had enough and I was ill severely until yesterday, and still feel weak. unfortunately this happened the day of my wedding..... so the first thing I would say would be to take time out and really grieve..... my husband and I are trying again. and now we look forward to the future but we will never forget pip (my nick name for her). if you need to chat email me any time

Answer 7

First of all im sorry to hear that and also take it easy. I have gone through it myself....and the worst part of it is after the surgery i got an infection that i had to do the surgery all over again and stay in the hospital for 4 days. The thing that helped me is that knowing that the baby wasnt healthy/normal so it didnt survive and also having my family there. I know that if its meant to be then it would of happened the way it wanted to.
Dont try to get preg right away. First take care of yourself mentally and physically. Then try again. and when you have that baby spoil it rottttten....=)

good luck sweetie *hug*

Answer 8

Im so sorry, I know how you feel I miscarried last week at 8 weeks I already have 2 healthy children, Its not easy I know, me & my hubby are gonna start trying again next year, and I have the same worry, but there is no reason that your next pregnancy wont be a healthy one, try not to worry and take each day as it comes. Good luck with TTC and take care.

Answer 9

Well, consider that you have 2 children, so the chances of a new successful pregnancy is quite big. Just to play on the safe side, check your health with a doctor before the new try out. I´m sure you'll have a new and healthy baby by 2007. Good luck!

Answer 10

I am soo sorry.The only way to cope is to look towards the future.God dosent promise that every flower blooms.Maybe there was something wrong with the fetus.Keep your chin up and if you want another child then keep trying you have 2 beautiful children and i am positive you will have another one.Just make a appointment to make sure evrything with you is ok.You may need a good cleaning out or something.Just let things happen naturally and dont rush.I will keep you in my prayers.