I would LOVE to hear anyones stories on pregnancy hormones or how pregnant women behave.
We had an amazing five month relationship before we found out she was pregnant. (due next month, im very excited!!)
My girlfriend is VERY stressed and angry 24/7 and has only been getting worse since about week 4.
At around 14 weeks she dumped me saying I dont care about the baby, a few weeks after that she broke off all comunication with me.
I havnt been violent or abusive and obviously care about becoming a daddy authough I probably should have shown it more.
This cant just be all hormones could it?
Were both in mid 20's and before anyone asks... YES IT IS MY BABY she's the most trust worthy person ive ever met.
2006-10-17 03:48:25 · 37 answers · asked by NewDaddyToBe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First of all good for you, you sound like you'll be a great support to her. I know it's frustrating for you but there are so many factors to consider.
I've just had a weekend where I started to wonder if my man was as interested in my baby as me. He hadn't planned time off for the scan, forgot about the midwife's appt and booked a day out with the guys. At one point when I was ill he said "you wanted this baby, stop complaining!". My pregnant brain translates all this as : He doesn't give a crap about the baby or he would remember and his statement about me wanting the baby obviously meant he didn't. Reassurance is they key. We had a long chat and things are fine. It will partly be hormones, but you can't excuse everything if (as you imply ) you may have been a little insensitive and don't support her in act as well as in what you say etc.
I love my boyfriend to bits, but I did start to feel like he had compromised in conceiving our baby. I immediately thought of a bad experience with the father of my existing daughter (many years ago) and thought he wasn't really happy and we were going to split up over the baby.
when you're already stressed and worried, you can't handle dealing with a fractious relationship too.
Is there any chance that she has worries about the baby that she's not communicating to you?
I would say hang in there. I'm sorry it's painful for you but she will need you and want you.
Good luck to you both. x
2006-10-17 06:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by crabbit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this! I did some really strange things when I was pregnant, including getting very attached to a toy dog and going around spraying the house with bleach because I thought I could smell something weird!
Personally, I think in this case that it is definitely a hormonal reaction. Almost a form of protection for herself and the baby. Not that you would harm her obviously, but think how female animals are protective towards their young! They can be truly vicious and often are. The males, once they have done their job, are told more or less to get lost and the females all group together, with the males on the outside of this inner sanctum.
Maybe your girlfriend is reverting back to some kind of primaeval behaviour - probably without even realising it. I imagine that when our ancestors were hunter-gatherers, the pregnant woman stayed together and the men were excluded from their circle - left outside to mutter and moan about how weird women were, no doubt! Rather like men do now! Nothing really ever changes that much.
I may be totally wrong but I do feel that this could be the case. Difficult, as I don't know her or how she feels about being pregnant. I really hope you can work this out. Love and patience and hopefully a change of heart from her when Baby is born will solve all the problems. Mother Nature is a clever girl but sometimes she does play some strange tricks on people with the wretched hormones!! Good luck honey!!
2006-10-17 04:11:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every woman ovulates at a different time. You can't always rely on the ovulation calculators online. They aren't always accurate especially if your girlfriend has an odd cycle. It is possible for sperm to live inside the body for a number of days so even if she ovulated 3 days after you had sex, then yes it would still work. As for the 18 weeks pregnant, 16 weeks gestation, that just means that it's been 18 weeks since the start of her last period where they start counting her pregnancy, but the baby is actually 16 weeks developed. You really need to trust your girlfriend and be open with her. You should really talk about this if your going to be with each other for the long hall. It's no good to go through life doubting your love and child. Good Luck and relax.
2016-05-22 08:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be feeling very confused. But then so must she! Think abut it, five months into relationship is usually way before anyone is thinking about checking out Mothercare. What was her idea of where your relationship was going at the time? Having fun and maybe getting serious? What were her life plans? Perhaps she has a job or career in mind, then all of a sudden, wham, now facing motherhood and completely different life to what she thought she had. Now she has some truly life changing decisions to make. She may have pushed you away so that she has more space to make decisions.
It sounds to me that you seem to have coped with this change brilliantly and that you feel you two have a future. How can you help her out here?
First thing in situations like this is to acknowledge the other persons feelings and you have made a good start with stressed and angry. How about a letter under the door with 'I know you are stressed and angry, how can I help you get through this?' on it.
If you can get to speak to her, start with her name, then say something about her feelings. Say yours. Offer to work it out with her, or talk it through so she can reach a decision she is comfortable with. She may be grieving for the life she hoped to have.
Before you embark on this, you need to do some soul searching, because some of the suggestions she makes may be painful, such as adoption, or bringing up the baby alone.
Best of luck.
2006-10-17 04:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by tagette 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The hormones could play a role, but I don't think that is the ONLY reason. Try talking to her friends or family and explaining that you want to be part of the baby's life. No offense, but I'm guessing you did SOMETHING to make her cut off communications with you. If you don't know what you did, try to find out and apologize for it. If she's made up her mind to end the relationship with you, there's nothing you can do about it, but you have the right to see your child. Send her some flowers and ask if you can help her clean her house, or drive her to Dr. visits. Be the sweetest guy you can be because pregnancy is tough. Hopefully she'll appreciate your efforts and you can at least be friends. Good luck!
2006-10-17 03:58:09 · answer #5 · answered by Rwebgirl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yes, a lot of it is hormones. Everythign you do it put under a microscope when she's pregnant and she's insecure so she's looking for proof that you're not trust worthy.
Jsut ride it out, keep showing her you want to and plan to support her and the baby, and hang in there.
Pregnant women are a pain in the ***. Some more so than others.
Maybe you can give her a promise ring or something. Like not an engagement ring, but a promise ring to stay with her until she's ready to get married or something. I dont know. Iam sure you can think of something to validate your love for her and your child.
2006-10-17 03:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Poor you - my husband would be better answering - I'm 35 weeks pregnant (2nd time) and both times I would best be described as an evil cow... so I'm going along the lines of hormones.... at this stage she is probably really uncomfortable and struggling to sleep, and it can make you feel totally crap.
Just make sure you are really really nice to her no matter what, duck if she throws anything, and then tell her to sit down and get her food and drink... my husband keeps a family size bar of galaxy in the fridge for my 'tantrums' and has finally learnt to let it wash over him. Good luck to you all
2006-10-17 06:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is crazy!! During my second pregnancy I was so so emotional!! I had crazy mood swings. But I never broke up with my boyfriend!! Maybe she doesn't know how to deal with the pregnancy or show how she feels. Or maybe she thinks that women are crazy when they are pregnant and she just acts like that. I know that may sound crazy but people do it all the time. Like if they are sitting down and they get up all stupid. I would try to call her and tell her how you feel and tell her that you love her and the baby and want to be in both of their lives. I hope things work out for you guys!!
2006-10-17 05:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by mamaof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said "obviously care about becoming a daddy although I probably should have shown it more". You probably weren't giving her the attention she needs. When women become pregnant we need a lot of love, caring, massages (my personal favorite) ...u know stuff like that. The hormones can make a women exaggerate things, she will get mad about anything and probably won't stand you for a while. I know a lot of women that for some reason during the pregnancy they can't stand a certain person. I don't know why it happens but it does. When I was pregnant with my second one (I had a miscarriage) I couldn't stand my little nephew who is so attached to me and I love dearly - but for some reason I didn't like him around me. After it was all done with everything went back to normal. Now, with my latest pregnancy I couldn't stand my man's oldest daughter - it all went away after like the 6th month. Some of my friends have told me they couldn't stand their man being around, touching them, etc... but once the baby was born everything went back to normal. So just give her attention, all the love and support you can and hopefully everything will be fine once the baby is born. Good Luck and Congrats!!
2006-10-17 04:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, I really doubt it's all about hormones, but everyone is different in pregnancy. Since she's cut off all communication, maybe you should mail her a letter telling her how you feel and how excited you are to be a daddy soon. If she continues this after the baby's is born, keep in mind you have as much right to be a part of your child's life as she does. Unless of course you are a drug addict or something.
Good luck to you and congrats!
2006-10-17 04:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by bradys_mommy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋