I was teased eva since the 3rd grade & my mom abused me. I have this issue where I can't trust people cuz 1 of my closest friends was using me 4 my money & cuz I bought her stuff.
So now 1 of my friends that is like my sister hangs out with me all the time & I didn't start buying her stuff until a month ago. I've known her 4 half a year & I'm starting 2 wonder if sometimes when she doesn't talk 2 me if it's cuz she knows I'll still talk 2 her & still buy her stuff. Help!!
2006-10-17 03:46:24 · 6 answers · asked by lakersfan_4life1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Do NOT buy your friend things that she needs or wants anymore. If it turns out that she doesn't talk to you once you stop buying her stuff, then she is not your friend. Stand up for yourself and don't let anyone take advantage of you. Buy the things that you need and want for yourself. Continue to make friends who will be your friend and be there for you 100%, not take advantage of you because you buy them stuff. Friendships does not cost a thing. It is priceless. I'll be your friend. You can email me if you want to if you still want to talk. Good luck.
2006-10-17 05:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by Lady S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the same problem a lot people have. Like my mother has when she want to make friend she give money and she is in her 80's or may be she is a Chinese and it a Chinese thing. Anyway. You have got to stop doing that unless it’s her birthday or something like that. You want to make her a personal present that is fine just don’t buy stuff. That cheapen friendship.
Look here is how friendship works.
It’s a give and take. It’s not about money or gift but about “truth”.
Your friend as close as they are to you can only give so much for you as you do for her. You give her things because you feel that is only thing you can give her without losing her love. It doesn’t work that way. I could to see my friend whom I grew up with any day and walk into the there house and be at home. Why because of trust.
Trust is a hard thing. It is the “bases” of all long lasting relationship from family to marriage. It’s not easily because “Trust” is earn through “deed” and “time”. You don’t just expect that from people out of nowhere to trust you or you with them. Trust is tested all the time. And Trust needs some kind of structure. So what is a structure? Well in your case it is a design of simple everyday routine that built into a pattern of repetitiveness.
This structure help built a foundation in which life’s problem can be lay out and broken down to a simple step-by-step solution.
Your Friend are great to have fun with, bit## about life’s problem with but when the holiday hit you or when something really big happen, you just don’t want to wing it by asking someone who has not been there yet. Your friend with your age is just not going to do. Having more than one adult help to get a different point of view. It’s ok if they have different point of view but you will find the same answer to the general question of life. Follow to the one you trust most and stop buying trust.
2006-10-17 13:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by Kenshin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you should try to stop buying her stuff and then see what happens.I f she stops talking to you then you know she was just using you and then you need to find some new friends that aren't going to use.I'll be your friend if you want just email me sometime and we'll talk.
2006-10-17 12:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by serenity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't buy her anything. Do nice things for her. It's a better way to have & keep friends.
Also, try not to keep tabs of what you do for friends.
Best luck to you.
2006-10-17 11:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop buying things for anyone other then yourself! make you happy first. When you're complete, you don't need friends to justify your happiness or wholeness. Do you, then let them fall in line.
2006-10-17 12:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by shondak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been friends with her for 4 years don't worry about it. I think you should by now be able to trust her!
2006-10-17 10:55:20 · answer #6 · answered by mugsie91 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋