okay i have had this friend for like teen years we have been there for each other our whole lives! and she just like my sister i swear! but the other day she told me she thinks shes a lesbian and she said that she has had a crush on me this whole time. and i feel bad beacause im not a lesbian i will never be one but she thinks in judging her when i say i cant go on the level with her. shes saying we shouldnt be friends anymore because shes embarrised what shoud i so i dont want to throw it all away shes my best friend!
2006-10-17 03:18:03 · 9 answers · asked by ♥I know these things♥ 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No, let her work it out on her own. When she realizes you are not lesbian and will not be physical with her, she will come around.
I think every non-straight person (gay, lesbian, or bisexual) eventually crosses that point in his or her journey that your friend is experiencing right now. I call it the "lightswitch" effect. Once she realizes that nothing physical can go on, the lightswitch of attraction will be turned off and she will be your friend again.
Who in his or her right mind would want to lose a friend over sex in today's world? Not me.
2006-10-17 03:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reassure her that your friendship does not need to end because of this, I had a best friend of mine that I had a huge crush on forever, but when you become such good friend s you should be able to go [past that and maintain that friendship. Make sure that you aren't wierded out by the whole thing, make sure that she knows that ok. just talk to her lkike nothing happened, after yoiu discuss this issue and remain friends, do not let her throw away this relationship iof she truely is you BF!!!
2006-10-17 11:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by radioradioradio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you're not a lesbian but that you care deeply for her and do not want to lose her friendship. Don't let her pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable with, as that will break up your friendship far more permanently. At the very worst she may not feel entirely happy being around you until she has a girlfriend of her own.
2006-10-17 10:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by Theonlygolux 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't feel bad for being you. If your not attracted, your not attracted. The only thing you can do to make sure your friendship lasts is to be open and honest. As the other answerers said, tell her your not attracted, but that you value the relationship and don't want to lose it. If she's a good enough friend she will understand and move on. It may be awkward at first, but I'm sure if you two were meant to be friends for life, you will be.
2006-10-17 11:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by Love_cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give her time. As you said, she "Thinks" she might be a lesbian and she is embarrased becuase she approached you. They say time heals everything - just try to reassure her that you are not judging her and that you still love her as a sister and value her friendship and that you want to be there for her. Give her time and space. She'll come around when she sorts out herself. She is probably very confused at the moment.
2006-10-17 10:30:08 · answer #5 · answered by Doreen R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea just explain to her your not a lesbian at all but you still care about her and dont want to lose the friendship at all.
eventually her feelings are going to fade away but its going to be hard for her so ask her what you can do to help out.
you have to remember that shes in a weird situation now so just stay supportive at the same time of making sure she knows your not attracted to women like that
2006-10-17 10:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by justine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to convince her that she has nothing to be embarassed about. She told you, you didn't accept, and now you both have to move on. But, in the future, try not to be too 'sexy.' I just turned down one of my friends. I used to touch him all the time while I talked to him. Now... not so much. I'm not saying treat her like she's got the plague, just be aware that it won't be easy for her to let those feelings go. But, overall let her know that you two are still and always will be friends.
2006-10-17 14:39:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ha Ha! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there think you should tell her what u feel inside u, and explain to her how hard it is for u and u cant let her just go away like that and forget all these years of friendship
if she valued that then she is a real friend
if not then she is not even a friend
2006-10-17 12:02:44 · answer #8 · answered by Boyz Charm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch her. anyone who'd use that kind of emotional blackmail on you is not really your friend. She has always had the hidden agenda of trying to get you into bed.
2006-10-17 14:08:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋