okay i have had this friend for like teen years we have been there for each other our whole lives! and she just like my sister i swear! but the other day she told me she thinks shes a lesbian and she said that she has had a crush on me this whole time. and i feel bad beacause im not a lesbian i will never be one but she thinks in judging her when i say i cant go on the level with her. shes saying we shouldnt be friends anymore because shes embarrised what shoud i so i dont want to throw it all away shes my best friend!..........what would you do.?
2006-10-17 03:16:52 · 29 answers · asked by ♥I know these things♥ 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
hey lailaa, i had a problem like that before with one of my friends, only he didn't have a crush on me, but where still friends. i think you should tell her how you feel, because if you don't your just cheating yourself. normally every relationship in the world has to have trust and honesty. so I'd say you should be honest tell her how you feel about your relationship with her, and she should understand, come on your friends like you said practically sisters. she should understand what your saying, and also you shouldn't throw away that friendship, because being best friends with someone is such an important thing, i bet you know that. just act the same as if she is your best friend, she might find it weird at first but as time goes on you'll probably get more closer in friendship wise.
2006-10-17 03:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by all_who_wonder_wont_be_lost 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah, that's always a sticky one. Talk to her. Explain that even though you aren't a lesbian that her being one and her attraction doesn't change the way you feel about her. It's embarassing to admit you have feelings for someone who doesn't see you like that and I can understand having been through it years ago. I think she just needs some time to let it all cool down. keep the lines of communication open and she will probably come back.
2006-10-17 10:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell her how you feel. If you don't want to lose her as a friend let her know that it was an uncomfortable moment for the both of you but that you two have been through way too much together and you would not let something like that get inbetween your friendship.
2006-10-17 10:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by helpwchem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her honestly that you do not have those feelings or needs but you would like to be friends with her! Be honest with her and tell her that you dont want to lose her as a friend! She might take some time but if the friendship is true, she will accept it and continue the friendship with you! Good luck!
2006-10-17 10:27:37 · answer #4 · answered by bumblebee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is that good of a friend then she must understand you position. You have to be real with her and tell her how you feel! If you are unfordable then you should let her know that but I believe you 2 can talk through it if you are that close to each other. Express to her that that is her choice but it is not yours. Let her know how much her friendship means to you and go from there.
2006-10-17 12:53:50 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling you just have to explain to her that just because your not gay doesn't mean the friendship has to stop. On the other hand perhaps she feels that now she knows she feels this way for you that it would be easier for her not to be around you for now. This is something you need to talk to her about tell her the truth. Your not gay but your also not willing to let go of this friendship you have built up over 10 years or so. Good Luck darling.
2006-10-17 11:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is your best friend then ya'll shouldn't split up the friendship because of that.It probably made her feel bad because you don't feel the same about her.She probably thought since ya'll were so close you felt the same way.Just talk to her and make her understand you love her but not in that kinda' way.Make her realize you will always be her friend regardless.Good Luck!!!!
2006-10-17 18:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well okay, I would just go to her and tell her that she's got nothing to be embarassed about! Just because you don't share her feelings doesn't mean you like her any less, so she seems to need to know that.
For me its a little reversed cuz Im gay, so if one of my girlfriends hit on me, I'd be flattered but id try to explain why it just isn't in the cards, but that i don't want to lose them as a friend just because I don't go that way.
2006-10-17 10:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by Will E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's sorted the problem out for you! It would be difficult to remain friends with someone after a revelation like that! And by the sounds of things she's being off with you rather than vice versa so you don't have to feel guilty about avoiding her!
2006-10-17 10:28:18 · answer #9 · answered by pugsley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's just feeling curious, alot of girls are doing it these days. She's probably just wanting to try it and be done with it when she's out of it. Just ask her over to your house, explain to her it's ok, give her the friend talk. Tell her that you've been best friends since you can remember, and you just can't do that.
2006-10-17 10:28:58 · answer #10 · answered by Adrian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋