i've written my girlfriend a poem because she has a lot on her plate (not something that i usually do) and i was just trying to get an opinion and a good title.
This torturous feeling of helplessness,
Which leaves me feeling as insecure as a newborn babe?
A lamb presented to the lions as a gift of romanticism
I complain not for I am truly blessed,
With a heart of greater magnitude than most athletes
And a strength of will surpassing that of mere mortals,
Patience she says then she will have it,
I will endure the tedium of life without her tender kiss
The feeling of sheer pleasure that simply being with her lets me know
Without the beauty of her I am reduced,
Just another speck of insignificance on the winds of time
She is poetry personified as surely as I write my inner most feelings,
Her demeanour may yet strike me down,
Yet I have seldom felt for any being or object this feeling
A joyous serenade to gods themselves I thank you
For I am truly blessed
2006-10-17 02:51:13 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
The part of your comment "she has a lot on her plate" raised a red flag. Why do you feel that way? Is it a way for her to put you at "arm's length" or create or maintain distance? If so, she may be the kind of girl who would be scared off by such a poem, especially the first line? She may percieve that you are being too clingy or needy. I hope that is not the case, because it is very special to have a poem written for you. Just be careful and examine your underlying motivations and be sure to protect your heart. You're really wearing your heart on your sleeve with this poem and making yourself vulnerable. I commend you for that and hope she doesn't take it as being too needy.
2006-10-17 06:31:03 · answer #1 · answered by galacticsleigh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a little cheesy, and a bit cliche as well. But it captures a feeling I know only too well. Overall this poem definitely resonates with me and I think that is the mark of a good poem.
2006-10-17 03:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't concern yourself with whether or not it's cheesy. And don't concern yourself with people who say it's cliche (cough cough). If it's sincere, that's what matters.
2006-10-17 03:14:15 · answer #3 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I LIKE IT. IT IS VERY GOOD. I WISH MY HUSBAND WOULD WRITE A POEM FOR ME.
'HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL' OR HER NAME
I DON'T KNOW MAYBE JUST HAVE NO TITLE
2006-10-17 03:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF she likes poetry its cool-
2006-10-17 05:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋