WHAT should i do?? advise plzzZZZ....?
my boyfriend and i have been together for the last 1 and a half year.... we love each other... but,my boyfriend had an ex-girlfriend he never told me about.... they were still friends after they broke up... the thing is he never told me about her,i thought they were just friends and then i found out that they were dating for a while....
i didnt like his dishonesty and broke up with him....
he called me a ton times saying that he loves me and wants me back... i love him too...i started talking to him though we are not officially back together[ he thinks that we are]......all our friends know about this and are very against me going back to him..............
i feel that not telling me the complete truth was cheating me and now iam feeling very bad about myself cause iam talking to him even after all this....
what is right?... what do you think i should do??
2006-10-17 02:30:25 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he's stopped talking to her now... or, atleast that's what he swears...
2006-10-17 02:36:36 · update #1
you have to understand that the way a guy thinks is different. in his eyes he did the right thing. if he told you from the start you wouldnt have trusted him with her, and considering the situation he thought best not to tell you so you dont have to worry. he has done absolutely nothing wrong. other then this everything seems good. dont let this ruin what sounded like a loving relationship.
2006-10-17 02:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think you might be over reacting. I mean, probably the reason he didn't tell you that at one time dated (before you came along) was because he knew you would freak out. You can be just friends with someone you once dated. Sometimes during a relationship you find out you make better friends than lovers. If you and your boyfriend love and care for each other, and have no other relationship problems, then I would advise you taking him back. Tell him you are sorry for wigging out, but that it made you feel...... blank, blank and blank. Talk it through, relationships are all about honesty. He could have told you and maybe now he realizes he should have, but give him and you another chance.
2006-10-17 02:44:09 · answer #2 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know guys are so insecure. If he is a young guy I'm sure he just didn't want you to overreact about him still being friends with an ex. He probably wanted to tell you several times about her and just kept putting it off. Your relationship with him grew stronger so he just kept his mouth shut. The problem is you found out and yes, I would be pissed too. If you really love this guy don't through him away from a mistake like this. He wasn't cheating on you. I'll tell you one thing he won't keep anything from you again. You do what you think is right, don't worry about what your friends think. The most important thing is YOU, and if you feel you should be with him then do it!! Be happy and work on your relationship and trust. Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine. =)
2006-10-17 02:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him another chance but TELL HIM that you will not tolerate dishonesty in the relationship. However, you have to trust what he says if he says he is only friends with his ex...at least until he proves otherwise that he is not trustworthy. He was probably scared of you leaving him if he did tell you that he was still friends with his ex and you did just that...now he feels the guilt. I would give him 1 more chance AS LONG AS HE STATS HONEST with you.
2006-10-17 02:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by bradnmich2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...people always said once a cheater always a cheater...of course someone is always bound to have that problem...my husband before we got married cheated on me twice and i still think about it...so here's what i try to tell others...u will keep thinking about it in ur head over and over and over again that he's cheating....i would have to say they should move on bc it will feel weird for the rest of ur lives...i tell people to be careful because once someone cheats u have that stuck in ur head...but then again u could give him another try...if he blows the 2nd chance then he ain't worth ur time u def need to move on...my husband cheated twice i only gave him 2 tries to make it right and he straightned up right then and there i ain't cautious he knows he cheats i find out then he's gone...but if u love the person it's harder but u gotta learn give 'em 2 tries and he's out...not ever three just two cuz if u give him 3 it won make sense and he will do it again and keep begging u to take him back...that's all i can say...
2006-10-17 02:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably didn't feel it was neccesary to bring it up... it happened in the past and he probably wanted to leave it in the past... Maybe he thought that you would get jealouse and not let him still be friends with her?? I dunno.. I still hang out with one of my ex's we are totally not interested in each other romantically anymore (we went out for about 6 mnths when I was 17) I am now 24) it was in the past we grew out of each other, actually we were always better as friends than a couple..any way he has a GF that he has been with for three years and I get along with her just fine whenever i go over thier house to hang out, and she has no-idea that we were together but he'd rather keep it that way no harm done.. she thinks I am like a lil sister to him and she often comments on that.. The point is your BoyF is most likely 100% innocent and just didn't want to dredge up sticky issues that could have just as easily been ignored to keep the peace between you all...
2006-10-17 02:46:45 · answer #6 · answered by channille 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight, you're mad because your boyfriend had an ex-girlfriend he never told you about? And that makes you mad because.......? The simple fact that she is an ex-girlfriend explains it all. Did you tell him about all of your ex-boyfriends, if there were any? I'm pretty sure you didn't because most guys do not want to know who you were with before them. I can understand your being mad because he is still on good speaking terms with her, I would be too. Ask yourself this, did he cheat on you with her? Were they sneaking out behind your back to meet at secluded, secret locations? If not, accept his apology for not telling you he is still friends with his ex and let it go. Sheesh!!!!
2006-10-17 02:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by ashyne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all if he thinks u are back together and u say that u are not, right there u are cheating him. ok let me explain why u should stay with him and not feel bad about talking to him. have u ever stayed friends with an ex? i think that he still cares about his ex by wanting to be friends with her. thats a good thing that he can still be friends with an ex. he probaly didnt tell you cuz he didnt want you to feel uncomfortable. the thing is if he wanted her he would be with her and not you. he wants to be in a relationship with you. if u love eachother look at it as a positive that he is nice enough to stay friends with this girl it shows character. and its obvious who he wants to be with is not her or they would still be together! lastly, dont worry about what your friends think when it comes to who u love.
2006-10-17 02:43:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly the fact that he was dishonest will always weigh on your mind and that will cause a rift between the 2 of you even if you do get back together. You will always second-guess if there are more of such girls out there and will never be happy. In my opinion, you should move on to better things.
2006-10-17 03:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by Sob Sob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know dishonesty is bad but alot of other peoples boyfriends do much worse.like for example my best friends boyfriend hit on me by running his hand down my thighe eww!! i told her and my boyfriend as soon as he did it and my friend still dates the sleeze ball and she doesent hang out with me any more because i start trouble when her boyfriend went and slept with her other girl friend!
anyways im still friends with my ex but my husband knows we dateing like 10 years ago and the strange thing is they are friends too like best friends so its ok to be friends with exs as long as he will never think twice about dateing her again and has the understanding shes his ex for a reason ya know :) good luck
2006-10-17 03:08:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋