my husband had hit me numorous times in the past, i love him the most he is the first one met at age15 (long distance relationship) married at 20 but never met in those years just talked over the phone and wrote letters. i still love him and doesn't want to leave him we have 2 kids together (under 3) one recently born. hmmm i did it cuz i wanted a boy exactly like him that much i love him. now i'm done one girl and boy. he want me to sleep with another men in front of his eyes and i totally deny it. i have talked to him about this in every way but he just doens't want to listen and walks away saying its my fantacy do it i wont ask for anything else and not even shares bed since 1 week nor talking to me. for sake of kids im here in this realationship but i gave it enough time and made a decition i should stay but my life is over. its not the first time he had ask for this just that he want it more now & the past hitting was cuz of his family members me being answering them back
2006-10-17 02:22:40 · 16 answers · asked by irish women 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Answer... YES!
2006-10-17 02:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by brkeng 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made a very bad decision in entering marriage with him. Probably a worse decision to have kids with him. First love was really just the first thing you knew, and you deserve a lot better. I bet this guy is a lot older, right? Was he maybe in prision too? In either case, he is scum, and you need to leave him. I am always one who advocates working things out... but this is not one of those cases. There are two things which are not forgivable. 1) Adultry. 2) Hitting (from either party). He has done the second already on repeated instances, and he is pushing you to do the first (he probably already has many times). I am not sure why you are asking if you should leave... my question is why are your bags not packed already?
2006-10-17 09:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by Craig B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend that was going through the same thing as you....you should leave him...i mean come on gurl whats that all about tryna make you sleep with another man... a man wouldnt walk out when a women is trying to talk to them....i think love isnt bout abusing in anyway at all...all you need is your kids...to make you happy when the time is right you'll find the perfect man to love, care, and help you take care of your children...theres plenty of men out there .....
2006-10-17 12:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by deborah_25_2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think you should leave him, for one the hitting.....HELL NO!
You have two children who do not deserve to grow up in that type of atmosphere. They did not ask to be here, they were made out of Love so they need to see love. Spankings is what a parent do to a child to show them that they were wrong. Thats apart of Love, but when a grown man hits another grown up thats fighting and when it's a woman it's abuse. A man is to love the woman and respect her not abuse her.
Secondly... Don't allow any man to humiliate you or lower your standards by commiting an such degrading act. That is a form of abuse also. If he really loves you he wouldn't want to watch you engaging in sexual acts with another man! What? Where is the morals and standards of MARRIAGE! Whats supposed to be shared between the two of you he wants to allow others in! Girl get away as fast as you can!
There is someone out there who will worship the ground you walk on and will love your children too!
You Better RUN FORREST RUN ! RUN FAST!
Really, go!
2006-10-17 09:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by J. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said your with him for the sake of your kids. But what you should be thinking will my daughter grow up thinking it's OK to get smacked once in a while. Or will my son think it's OK to hit woman. For the sake of your kids you need to move on. And as far as his fantasy my husband wants the same thing and I told him where he could shove his fantasy, because the last time I checked Marriage was monogamous.
2006-10-17 09:36:55 · answer #5 · answered by dreamsjv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, what makes you think you deserve to be hit for any reason? Get ahold of your self esteem and get out of that abusive relationship. He just doesn't care for you, no matter what he says. His actions are what speak. Your life isn't over, you've got a new chapter in your life ahead of you, without abuse, verbal or physical...!!! A real husband won't ask you to sleep with another man. Wake up and get out of there right away!!! Good luck, honey.
2006-10-17 09:34:15 · answer #6 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK I'm not sure I understood everything I just read but it boils down to this.....................
If ANY man hits a woman it is time to get out of the relationship, do not stay for your children because if you do then they grow up thinking that that is the way a relationship is supposed be like. I know you don't want your daughter to live like that when she is grown and I'm sure you don't want your son to be an abuser. GET OUT NOW before its to late
2006-10-17 09:36:51 · answer #7 · answered by daydreambeliever0000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough decision .....ask your self this .... do you want your son & daughter growing up in this mess ..... do you want them to see that this is the right way to treat a wife and mother.....your setting the example for them of what they will see as acceptable behavor in the future.
Think of your children ...... Now think of your self ....Doing degrading things or allowing them to be done to please someone else is up to the individual......I would hope you use common sence in that decision ... rule of thumb .... if it dosen't feel right or makes you uncomfortable don't do it.
After all when you married the guy ... you married just him right ... not the whole bridal party .... you only share with the one that brought you to the dance.
He was wrong to ask you to do other.
Just look in the mirror ...see what the lady in the mirror says ... she will know whats right for you.
Be Safe and take care !
2006-10-17 09:37:28 · answer #8 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen very carefuly wath i have to tell you.i know you have been lots of years whit this men,i know you love him but carefull.i well advice you to leave him because if he beet you 1 he will beet you again. my mother was in this tipe of rfelation and almost lost her life.you have to decide if you want to leave with a person that obbiouslly dous not respect you and misstreat you.you chould ask for help from goverment organisations for battered womans and they well give you a better advise.
2006-10-21 00:32:55 · answer #9 · answered by Olga C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are into that kind of stuff well go for it but it can damage things far worse than they already are if not leave now you deserve better than that once a man hits it's time to go before you get hurt
2006-10-17 09:35:40 · answer #10 · answered by israel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away now. He is nuts and you are to if you stay with him. Just think of you little girl and if she was the one in your shoes.
2006-10-20 11:53:50 · answer #11 · answered by holly r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋