to swim, some punk teenager had a shirt on that said "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out," with a big skull on the shirt wearing a green beret. I tried really hard not to say anything, but when he walked by I finally said "So who are we supposed to kill," and he mumbled "It's just a shirt" and shuffled off. A couple of minutes later, he was pointing at me and laughing and joking about it with his buddies, who appeared to be the local football team, so I walked by and said very loudly "Get rid of the shirt. You're pathetic. You're sad." He and his football buddies just sat there and glared at me, so I flipped them off and walked away. Is what I did wrong?
2006-10-17 01:50:33 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Yes and no. I mean, on one hand, you were expressing your opinion of the message on his shirt, something you obviously found so disturbing that you felt it warranted a comment, and expressing your opinion can never be considered wrong, fundamentally.
On the other hand, by wearing the shirt, the young man was expressing himself as well. (Or at least I think he was. I really don't believe that it was 'just a shirt,' but subversive political commentary instead). Shouldn't he be entitled to expressing himself just as you are? By asking him about the shirt in the first place, I am assuming you were hoping to get into a philosophical conversation about ethics of killing people, but you had to know that a teenage boy would be less interested in debating intelligently with you than he would be in laughing at you with his friends. That's what teenagers do, since they're not fully developed adults yet. Flipping them off caused you to sink to their level, which is not necessarily a bad thing. The boys probably thought of you as some old fart who doesn't understand what they're going through, etc. etc. You know, pick your favorite teen angst cliche and insert it here. I'm just glad that a verbal exchange and impoplite gestures were the extent of the confrontation, as I would have expected the teen to turn violent. In the future you might want to try to hold your tongue just for your own sake, then maybe sort your feelings about the incident out in a journal entry or, better yet, an editorial piece for a local newspaper. Then you can maybe make a real difference instead of just fighting a losing battle with a sullen kid and his friends.
2006-10-17 07:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand frustration and at the time we are frustrated it is hard to be rational. I don't think you were wrong for speaking up. I do however wish you hadn't been so angry when you did it and I honestly think flipping them off made it fun for them. Which is the opposite of what you were going for. If I were you I would have had a very hard time speaking nicely to them but, in the future it wouldn't hurt to tone it down a bit. When you were young do you remember your parents getting frustrated and lashing out because of their frustration? Only leaving you to wonder what was wrong with them instead of focusing on your misbehavior. And then do you remember other times when your parents were disappointed with you and talked with you calmly but in a tone that you knew meant business? It makes all the difference in the world. You probably focused more on your actions and the dissappointment it caused your parents. The boy you saw probably is trying to be "cool" and not really focusing on the meaning of his shirt. After all, his parents allowed him to wear it. They need a good lashing. :) He is forming who he is and who he wants to be. Knowing that he made the comment... "It's just a shirt." shows me that he really hadn't thought about the consequences of wearing it. Maybe he'll think twice next time before wearing it or maybe he'll just have a good laugh about the man that was so irate. Thanks for not being a silent judger and speaking up. Just next time try a different method. Thanks and God bless!
2006-10-17 02:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To the quiet intellectual the shirt may be funny. The rest may see it as provoking and act on the provocation. Lot of stupid people in this world.
2006-10-18 02:40:48 · answer #3 · answered by June smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't tell him why. There is nothing wrong with telling him his shirt is offensive (its not just a shirt, its a statement), but you didn't tell him why. You didn't treat him with respect, why would you expect him to listen to you?
Kudos's to you for stepping up to the plate, but next time, take your emotions out of it and explain why threatening violence on a tshirt is inappropriate. You brought yourself down to his level, and your message, whatever it was, was lost.
2006-10-17 02:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You stooped to their level. While you were irritated, understandably so, you should have kept your cool. Kids like that are looking for attention - and he baited you, and you got hooked. Don't worry about it - but next time around, let it roll off your back. It'll show you're a better person for it.
2006-10-17 01:59:50 · answer #5 · answered by meggslie4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes You reduced yourself to his level. If you had a problem with his shirt you should have talked to the management.
2006-10-17 01:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by wayne7in 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
freedom of speech, man. you might not like it, but he's allowed to wear that shirt, just like you're allowed to flip him the bird.
2006-10-17 09:19:43 · answer #7 · answered by tiggergoesbouncebounce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It was just a shirt. And he was just a kid.
2006-10-17 02:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by dbqdawg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋