Me and my boyfriend of nearly 4 years are trying for a baby and love eachother very much and we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. However my dad has always said to get married before children and I am very nervous to tell him when i do get pregnant about the news, we do want to get married but when we can afford a wedding we want rather than rushing into it just because we want a baby, can anyone give me advice because i don't want to upset my dad.
2006-10-17 01:45:00 · 13 answers · asked by clairefleck 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
All you ppl saying a wedding will cost more????? a wedding costs £1000s a baby needs things yes but nappys, food and clothes dont cost £1000s we have thought about this and it's what we want! i just need advice on how to talk to my dad not ppl telling me how to live my life or whether to get married first.
2006-10-17 10:08:49 · update #1
i was terrifed to tell my dad too but he was great, i had only been seeing my boyf 4 just over a year, like you we knew we would always 2gether we went on to have two more children after that and we final got married 5 mths ago (after 6.5 years) and i feel that our wedding day was sooo much better b/c our children were there to celebrate it. SO GO FOR IT!!!!
2006-10-17 06:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by claire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be doing the same thing. Having another child and then getting married later. But I think my reasons are different than yours. I am getting older and would rather put the cost of a wedding towards my next child. A wedding I can have anytime, children has a shelf life! lol
If you are scared to tell your parents should you be having a child? Sounds harsh, I don't mean it to be but you have to be able to stand up for yourself if you have a child or people will start pushing you around with how to raise your child!
The first step is telling your parents this is your life and that you will do amazing things with it on your terms. Of course you have to find a more sensitive way of saying this. Your father has lived his life. If he becomes upset with how you are living yours that will be up to him to deal with.
Make sure you realize that a baby is more expensive than a weeding.
Make sure you are having a baby for the right reasons.
If you are young what is the rush with having a baby before the wedding?
In the end it is up to you and your bf and not your family. If you are being smart about it and your reasons are in order they will come around and be happy for you and your bf.
Good Luck!
2006-10-17 09:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by FerymayGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who told you a wedding had to cost thousands! Mine certainly didnt and I dont know anyone who spent that much!!
Decide what you want and go for it but don't use the financial excuse, if you wanted to get married now you could! Your dad would rather you were mature and explained that you don't want to get married just now and that you would rather put your money towards a baby!
We had a small wedding (through choice) and am really glad we did as we have since spent a fortune on fertility treatment which we could not have afforded otherwise!
Good luck and I am sure if you are honest your dad will be happy after all he is about to be a grandad!
2006-10-18 11:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whereas I agree that this is your life...your decisions...I also think that you should be aware that your dad is from a different generation and as such his views on marriage and babies may seem a little old fashioned, he still is your dad and just wants the best for you, bless him. Why not try and tallk things over with your dad before anything happens so at least he has time to deal with the situation and what you are planning....also...sorry to say this, but if you can;t afford to marry then really, please, reconsider getting pregnant just yet...yes babies need a lot of love and care but they come at a financial price too.
2006-10-17 10:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by widow_purple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it costs $20 for a marriage license. Can you not afford that? Why do you have to have a big wedding? You don't want to "rush into" getting married, yet you want to have a kid? Get real!!
2006-10-17 10:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its firstly your life!! I live with my partner and four children and we are not married, I am happy as things are, I don't think that other people can make this decision for you its a private decision for you and your partner. Whether you marry first or have a baby first its your happiness that's more important.
2006-10-17 08:57:29 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It costs more to raise a child than to get married. Perhaps you should wait. Raising a child is very stressful, but more so when you can't afford it. Good luck!
2006-10-17 12:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by LadyDeathStryke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married first. Its going to cost you a hell of a lot more to pay for a baby than it would a wedding.
2006-10-17 08:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by OriginalBubble 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think your dad will be okay about it once it has happened and there is nothing he can do about it. Dads are old fashioned and sometimes cannot see how things have changed.
Why dont you tell him if it is a boy you will give him his name as a middle name? Worked for my dad!!!
2006-10-18 11:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by Dingle-Dongle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
iv been with my partner for over 18 yrs now and we have two children A 15YEAR OLD N 13 YEARS LATER ANOTHER SON
we are not married but i know hes mine and im his
your dad has had his children and should look forward to having grandchildren
2006-10-17 08:55:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋