I am a 16 and my bf is 21. we have been going out for 3 months ,?

Question

i am a 16 my bf is 21. we have been going out for 3 months, but the only problem is my parents they can see how happy i am when i am with him and they know that he really cares for me. but they still stop me from seeing him and it kills use both, they are worried that he will hurt me, he has never laid a finger on me and we havent even had sex yet. they are also worried that he is pushing me into sleeping with him. but he hasnt even mentioned it yet he said that he will wait for as long as it takes for me ro fell comfortable. however my parents have told me that they want me to end it with him or they will dissown me, i dont know what to do i dont want to loss my parents but i dont want ot end my relationship with my bf. please give me advice.

Answer 1

I know this is not going to be what you want to hear. I have five daughters, I have been through this more than once.

We have a very open relationship with our kids, our 15 year old just became sexually active, with a 17 year old. The had sex once, her first time, and she told him no more because she was angry and her mother and myself and that is the reason she gave in.

Please think about the age difference for a few minutes, 5 years is 1/3 of your life. As a man, I feel that there is something terribly wrong with a 21 year old that even has contact with a 16 year old. He may seem mature to you, but in all truth, he is not mature enough to have a relationship with someone his own age.

He is using his experience to take advantage of you. I know you can't see or understand this because you think you love him. Ok, you haven't had sex YET, but it will happen, and for the wrong reasons, just like my daughter let it happen and then regreted it.

You have so much growing yet to do, and the age difference is a huge barrier to your parents, and for good reason.

Respect your parents, respect their wishes, and respect yourself. They love you, and only want the best for you. I know, you think they don't understand. I let you in on a secret, they have been there themselves at some point in their lives and remember, they remember the feelings, the excitement, and the dissappointment and pain when their first love was over.

Slow down, and if you are still friends in 3 or 4 years, then have your relationship.

Answer 2

It's cool you have a great BF. I can see where you know everything is great with you and BF. Your parents might be concerned with the age difference. Your BF is more experienced.
They are afraid you may end up preggers. I know you said you haven't be together that way. Things do happen. Make sure you have some sort of birth control too. Talk to your mom about getting birth control. And if she becomes flustered, ask her if she wants to become a Grama. Way too many young women, even younger than you end up preggers. They don't want you to ruin your you life. You are growing up and at 16, is the time you want to experiment. Always be prepared and cover you ***. There are so many opportunities in life for great success. You and BF sit down with your parents and have an open and honest chat about there concerns and you & BF's. I believe they would not disown you since that sounds more like a threat to get you to do what they want. You are in a mature relationship now so show your parents how mature you really are. Always respect yourself honey. When I left with the carnival at 17, the last thing I told my mom is : I will never come home preggers. And I didn't either.

Good Luck,
O'hock

Answer 3

First of all your parents are right he will hurt you because he is a grown man he can get into place that you can't but be they may your parent can bring charge again him because he is so much old you is still a minor under the law so if you want to still date this man have him to come over an spend time with you at your parent house maybe plan a cook out or something so your parent can get to know him if they still say no we don't want you to date him maybe they see something in him that you can't see right now sometime parent see thing where we can't because we can't see pass the love we have in our eye's (the old saying love is blind)

Answer 4

satisfied you requested the question. you're mature sufficient to ensure some data. 16 and 21 do no longer blend. by technique of regulation he's seen an man or woman. Adults do no longer have sex or perhaps are in touch in all of us below 16, meaning by technique of regulation you're a minor. A relative had a daughter 16 and boyfriend 21. that they had sex. The man or woman guy replaced into arrested for 'unlawful intercouse with a minor.' definite, he's now a sex criminal. He can't locate a job (no man or woman will employ him) and his life is a mess. i'm particular you do not want your buddy to finally end up like this. perfect element to do is wait until eventually you're of criminal age to be with him. in case you get pregnant (and also you would possibly want to) once you've sex with this guy, he might want to pay baby help, and so on. might want to you want to be a pregnant mom at 16 or 17? Will you end college? No. Will you flow to college? No. Your destiny is almost over. no longer that this is the baby's fault, the baby is there because of a outcome of sex. yet are you emotionally, bodily and spiritually waiting for such an business enterprise? If the answer isn't any, you would possibly want to ask your self... a million. Why is this guy messing with a 16 year old? 2. imagine decrease back 10 years. You were 6. He replaced into 11. How might want to your moms and dads sense if he replaced into messing with you at 11? definite, it is accurate! 3. improve up first. Make your moms and dads proud. they have invested their lives and funds in searching after you for 16 years. Your guy in difficulty-free words has comprehend you in basic terms 3 MONTHS??? 4. He can't research to 16 years of love and devotion out of your moms and dads to you. ninety days ain't it, woman. sensible up, be smart. do not blow your destiny. you are able to love him particular yet you've truly some growing to be as a lot as do. besides you do not want him arrested and later for life be categorized a sex criminal and he has to sign up as a sex criminal the position ever he strikes to -- the position ever state he lives. definite, he will be on Megans record on the web content all via u . s . a . of america. As a sex criminal. might want to you marry him then??

Answer 5

Well..... Some people on here really know how 2make some ppl feel rubbish, don't they! When i was 16 i was going out with a 22yr old guy. He was absolutly lovely, we waited 8months till we had sex because he wanted me to be totally ready, which i was! My mum didn't like him at all in the beginning and told me i had to break up with him! I didn't and in the end my mum grew to like him, was even really upset when we split up. Try holding on, he sounds like a great guy and your parents will grow to like him, or even if they don't they will learn to put up with it! They'll realise that if he makes you happy then he's worth it. Just be aware that in some cases (such as mine) as you get older you can grow apart, due to growing up and learning new things. Your whole attitude to life changes. But then in other cases you grow closer, i hope this is the case for you and i wish you all the happiness in the world with this guy!
Good luck xxxxx

Answer 6

I'm sorry, but I have to side with your parents on this one. He's too old for you...you need to be with a boy your own age. Doesn't matter whether sex is involved or not. If he really cares for you as much as you seem to think he does, then he'll wait til you're old enough to see him. In the meantime, enjoy high school....go out with the boys your own age......trust me, you'll regret it if you don't!! I didn't listen to my parents and now looking back, I realize I lost the best years of my life on some jerk that wasn't worth it.

Answer 7

My heartfelt sympathies to you. Have you tried sitting your parents down and just telling them how you feel about this bloke?
If you told them that you are in love with him, and that you aren't as naive or stupid as they think you are,maybe they're more likely to understand and accept it. Maybe get your fella to have a one-to-one chat with your mother or something, so she can see that he is a nice, genuine guy who isn't with you for the wrong reasons.
My mum was 16 when she met my dad: he was 23! Her folks started off being funny about it, but once they met him, and realised he was alright, it wasn't a problem. They've been together for 24 years and married for 20: happy as ever.
I think if you have a proper grown-up chat with your folks and just tell them how you and your boyfriend feel about each other, and tell them you're taking your time with regards to sex. Reassure them that you, their daughter, is sensible and wouldn't choose a lemon to go out with. Hopefully, if they are the listening type, they will see the hurt they're causing you with their cruel suggestions and basically allow you to see your boyfriend.
Good parents give advice and guidance, but ultimately allow their children to make their own mistakes: if it all goes wrong with you and your boyfriend, their job is to be their to comfort and support you: their job now isn't to prevent you seeing him: thats why so many teenagers rebel against their parents: unnecessary rules and punishments which are too strict. Sure, they can advise you against seeing him, but threatening to disown you is childish in its own right. They should support you now, and allow you (within reason) to live your life: if you get hurt, they help you pick up the pieces.
I know this is a long answer: apologies: read your question and it touched me. Good luck. I hope I've helped somehow.

Answer 8

Well the first thing is, if you submit to your parents now, they will always find ways to make you end all your relationship in the future! Second thing is that your boyfriend is too old for you, I know its only 5 years, but those 5 years are very different in the stage your in! If you were 19 and he was 29, it would be a different story! You are a big girl, you know whats right for you! But dont submit to your parents threats! They are just bluffing!

Answer 9

If i had a 16 year old daughter seeing a 21 year old guy I'd be worried too. You have a whole life ahead of you. Don't mess it up.Think before doing anything because some things you can't take back.

Answer 10

I have to agree with your parents. If my 16 y/o daughter was out with a 21 y/o guy I would feel the same way. Remember that your parents wee that age once and they know how the ball bounces.