Is this just a phase or am I bi?

Question

I’m an eighteen year old female and for now, I say I’m straight. I’ve always dated guys and have had a few relationships that have last a year or longer. I broke up with my (ex) boyfriend of a few months, a few weeks ago because I felt like there was no connection. For maybe a year now, I’ve looked at other girls/women and found myself attracted to them and always thought it was just a phase....but like I said, it’s been maybe about a year now. My best friend is about eight months younger than me and she is straight and has a boyfriend. However, lately we’ve been kissing each other on the cheek, forehead, neck...as well as holding hands. Nothing serious. But each time we hangout and are together, I feel more and more attracted to her and sometimes just think, “God I want to
kiss you.” I’ve never done anything sexual with girl, yet alone makeout with one. But recently, I find myself thinking about women a lot and fantasizing.

Any advice?
Thanks for reading.

Answer 1

i think perhaps if you and your friend are kissing each other in these varies places and are holdings hands that perhaps she too is curious.
I believe you never do realize your gay until your with someone of the same sex.
Take your time with her but if it feels right next time your thinking "God i want to kiss you." then just do it.
Go with your emotions.
Who knows it could be a turning point for you either way.
Good Luck hunny

Answer 2

I don't think you can ever go through "just a phase." It is my experience that girls that say that may have done something with another girl once or twice--but it was more of a fling thing. It was not done out of any long term desires. In your case only you can evalutate how you feel. And I really don't know you well enough to give a real opinion. But there are some signs and perhaps more in what you don't say. You have been scoping out other girls for a year (even when you had a bf). Obviously you are sexually (and emotionally as well of course)attracted to your gf. And you did not feel connected to your bf? Is that kind of typical for you with guys? That may be a real sign. I believe that a big part of female love (besides the obvious physical attraction) is the emotional thing--and between girls there is a lot more emotional connection--which all women need--but I think even more so in the case of lesbian (or bi) oriented women. The thing you don't say--which may be the biggest sign--you mention no interest with other guys--and not much regret over the breakup.

I think you most likely are gay (or bi)--but you need to go with your feelings. You need to talk about it with your gf--but tread lightly since you do not want to wrongly disrupt her relationship. But since you two have been close she is a natural person to talk about and share it with.

This is a confusing answer I know. But I do hope I helped some.

Answer 3

i know where you are coming from hun...i'm alittle older then you are (23) but when i was 18 i also felt and still feel the same as you do. i was too afraid to experiement at that age...and since have always been in striaght relationships (am still) and it's a great relationship...but the fantasies are still in my head...i still desire to know what it would be like to be with a hot women...and want to tell this to my bf...but don't know if he would understand. See i thought it was a phase as well and that if i stopped thinking about it, it would pass and go away...but it's only made the desire stronger. Now i can't really act on it...i don't want to loose my bf, we've been thru alot together and i love him deeply...he may understand once i get the nerve to tell him..hopefully. my point is..if you have a close friend that you can experiment with ..then i would take the advantage of it..then atleast you will know and the questions would disapear...unlike me, i still wonder...good luck hunny!:)

Answer 4

We are all human and we have desires urges and fantasies, So if you havent done it yet,, there is a first time for everything, I say listen to your female intuition, or if nothing else just tell her how bad you want to kiss her, for her to be your first, theres nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, I remember trying to figure out how to tell my buddy I was curious about things and could he help me out, and that I am a crossdresser, he was cool about things, be who you are, be proud of you and love you for you, and do what feels right to you in your heart and in your mind,
If nothing else just tell her your curious about being with another female and since your such good friends you feel you can trust her with this she should feel good that you would want her to be the one you experiment with, (be sure to have some toys handy just in case you need them tho) and if this is a phase, it too will pass or it wont,, you may be Bi or you may be Lesbian,, who knows,, and you wont until you make the first move here,

Answer 5

i think the only way to find out if you are bi or its just curiosity/ a phase is to act on it. be with a girl through and through and if you find that makes u happy then you are bi (assuming you are similarly attracted to guys)

if you are happy with a girl and find yourself less attracted to a guy then you are probably just les

I guess your best friend might be open to you being bi, but if you intend to ask her to help you find out if you are bi, do let her know your feelings first and be fair to her current boyfriend; do not do anything that would make her a 2 timer

Answer 6

Well... Im' nineteen years old and I went through a similar situation as yours. I was, not only attracted to a friend of mine, but more like obssesed with her. In my case, i came out to her and told her how I felt. Sadly, she went away but I figure out I just liked her... her personality, and averything about her, but not in a sexual way.
A few months ago I found myself atracted to another girl... and well, now I know that I'm actually "bi"... But I dont like to call myself that way... I just flow from one person to another... Just feel,show your feelings, be true to yourself and enjoy you life. Sexuality its just a small aspect of your personality, whats important is just being Yourself!
Good Luck

Answer 7

Don't worry about labeling yourself or trying to fit into one category or another. Sexuality is a very fluid thing. Just go with what you feel.

Answer 8

Could be some curiosities coming out, but if you are not liking any less, you're still the same

Answer 9

Sounds like it's not "just a phase!" Just be true to yourself.

Answer 10

Pray to Jesus for deliverance from your urges and they will pass.