heading towards divorce.......i think?

Question

My husband and I have been together for a very long time ,10 years, but we have only been married three years and things are going to hell. He is in the military and we hardly ever see eachother anymore. We don't seem to enjoy sex anymore. We hardly talk, (we don't have anything to talk about). The only interest we have together is our three year old daughter. I feel like we are headed for the big D!!!!! We have even started couseling. He says my heart isn't in it and that I just want to leave him but I swear it is not like that. It just feel like we are just together just to be together. No excitement, no communication, just me and my daughter and occasionally my husband. He says he doesn't see the problem. How can we save this marriage

Answer 1

this is for you....l hope it helps..........

I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!

By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra

Answer 2

Man, I am sorry.

I truly feel that you can either spend the time ending the relationship or spend the time making it the very best it can be. You sound bored. Things can change. Excitement can be brought back... in even bigger ways than when you were first together.

I'm sure that his being gone plays a HUGE role in what's happening (or not happening). Maybe you can talk with other military wives. I'm sure that a LOT of them go through the same thing.

My next door neighbor is divorcing her husband because she's bored. It's the saddest thing I've ever seen. The 2 1/2 year old son is not the same boy. Her husband is devastated. She's changed.

I'm not trying to be harsh, but no marriage vows have been broken it seems. Your vows didn't say "For better or worse or if it's just not exciting anymore".

I really encourage you to stick with it. Find the passion. Rekindle things. You can definitely fall in love all over again and this time can be even BETTER and STRONGER.

Answer 3

Well serious communication. Thats the key I think. My husband has a , well regular job, I guess 40+ hours a week and then he is home after work each day and weekends. I could not handle having a husband in military or truck driver, call me clingy I guess, it would just put too much a strain. SO, props to you for being able to cope with it. I think you should write a letter out saying how you feel. I think people express a lot better when they write it out, then to be put on the spot and think of something to say. And ask him to do the same, and he will if he truly wants to save the marriage too. If he says its a dumb idea, then tell him youre just trying to find a way to communicate. Good luck, and I will pray for no "D" for you guys.

Answer 4

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. Try sparking the love back into your marriage yourself. Good to know that you are going to counseling. That shows you are both in this to make it work. Try leaving him love notes, and sex coupons. Go for a Sunday drive alone, and give him road head. Do things alone, and change the routine of your days together so it doesn't feel like you are constantly doing the same things when you are all 3 together. I wish you all the best and hope the big "D" is never discussed again.

Answer 5

This is a very hard thing, you have gone in the right steps to try to fix things but its going to take a lot of communication, and trust as well as patience. Obviously there are needs for both of you that are not being met. Whether it be excitement, communication or whatever you need to find a way to renew your spirit and your love for each other. Don't let your marriage fall apart because you did not express your needs to the other partner.
I wish you lots of luck and prayers

Answer 6

You and I are sailing in the same boat.I have tried everything .IT works but only for one or two days.So my advice to u is that find out who has lost interest in whomand why.Then try to talk to him but be polite.If u are sure its not b,coz of another woman then trust me the problem is not very serious.And when u talkj to him make sure u dont accuse him of being at fault.Tell him that u both have been unfair to each other and u want him back.But b4 that ask urself what u actually want.KEEP UR COOL.

Answer 7

He says your heart is not in it. What about his heart? I don't know what to tell you. It seems as if your DH will not accept that this marriage takes two people in order to operate. Or something else may be happening (outside the marriage) that he will not confess to. Conseling may be a step in the right direction...but also face the possibility of D and begin to prepare (just in case).

Answer 8

Just try talking 2 hi agreeeee on things as much as u can! Make him his favorite meal...but it is kinda hard if ur BOYS in da Military. It kinda feels lyke ure alone...and a single mom! But dnt go staight 2 divorcment... take care of ur baby girl 1st!

Answer 9

take him somewhere somewhere where u used to go with him before the marriage and where u had lots of fun. find out if u guys still feel the same about each other....maybe there is still chance to save the marriage...

Answer 10

First off, take your daughter to the park together, movies as a family, do family things together, not seperately....