i have been married for 27 yrs. i need help. i luv both guys but i am not in love with my husband and my friend sometimes i feel he is just using me for what he can get or as a stand in. i know he has other relationships which he says is ok because i am married. have not slept with my hsuband in 12 years due to a medical problem.any suggestions
2006-10-16 18:25:07 · 6 answers · asked by TBALL 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You really do need to sit down with your husband and tell him. You owe him that much. No matter if you haven't slept with him in 12 years. He needs to know. People can say, or do whatever they want, this is your life and you have to live it with some dignity and respect for yourself. This other, "relationship," is not a relationship at all. You say you "love" this other man too. I don't think you can really call that love. If you are honest with yourself, it is more like lust, not love. You need to take care of you, because you do not know what he could be transmitting to you from these other people he is seeing. Other relationships, he says, which are ok because you are married..that is a guilt trip on you. And you have no idea what these other "relationships" are, they could be with prostitiutes, or with anyone male or female. You don't know that for sure. You only know what he tells you. So think hard and good about this because when you do tell your husband which you should, sure you may end up in a divorce over this but, then again, your husband may forgive you. And Sweetie, if he does, you better count your blessings and learn from your mistakes. Because most men wouldn't forgive this kind of betrayal. You need to also ASAP, stop seeing, contacting, texting whatever it is you do to contact your lover, you need to stop it. And don't let his guilt trips get to you. He found you, and you know in your heart that he will and has found another that is obvious, he already has. That isn't love. Good Luck.
2006-10-17 04:43:52 · answer #1 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am gonna try this without sounding judgmental.... married and having a lover on the side sounds just sorted to me, but I dont know you or your full circumstances, so ummmmm.... anyway, YOU have a decesion to make that NO ONE can make for you... you either stay or you go, but if I were you, but I'm not, I would think real hard about everything .... the guy you are seeing is prob. , and I say prob., because I do not know him, is using you, you are married therefor SAFE... no commitment, no questions, and nothing ask..........10 yrs is a long time to be in that kind of relationship with NO demands and that should tell you something...... God bless
2006-10-17 01:30:37 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are in a relationship outside your marriage you have lost the real love for him. You are now loving him more like a close friend. There are options of letting the other guy go he is only with you in my opinion because you are a safe way to have his cake and eat it too. You can also try to search your heart and find if you want you and your husband to work as a real couple or be fair and let him go.
2006-10-17 01:37:06 · answer #3 · answered by determined26a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop cheating for starters. If you feel you must then at least give your husband back his dignity by coming clean with him & asking for a divorce. At least he will have time to start over rather to live in an illusion.
Really, what you are doing is wrong
2006-10-17 01:28:58 · answer #4 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE FACT THAT YOU ARE MARRIED FOR 27 YEARS, IS WRONG THAT YOU HAVEING A AFFAIR WITH THIS MAN
THAT DOES NOT WANT YOU, HE USING YOU, BUT IF
YOU ARE SO UNHAPPY WITH YOUR MARRIAGE THEN
YOU NEED TO DO THE RIGHT THING,IT UNFAIR TO EVERY
ONE INVOLVED.
2006-10-17 01:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u actually live on planet Earth??
2006-10-17 01:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by the freakin' analyst 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋