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we all had such a hard life with his dad,but it is not a excusse to destroy his future.he is not working,firends mean the world to him,doesn not pay respect to me aftre all i have been through with his dad.i am so desprate for right advise.pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2006-10-16 18:01:33 · 17 answers · asked by roya 1 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

17 answers

the hardest thing about being a parent is seeing the ugly in our own children...... I know just what ya mean...... but, he is an adult and needs to learn to act like one.... you have 2 choices here, put up with it or change it...... let him live there and treat you like that or lay down the law, he respects you or moves out..... I know how hard that sounds and is, beleive me I know, but as a mother with another, helpless child depending on you, you have the RIGHT to demand his respect and help or to demand he leave...... it is YOUR house, NOT his........ he is the child and you are the PARENT !!! just the fact of how it is !!!!! God bless

2006-10-16 18:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 0 0

An 18 year old is a legal adult. Put him out! There's the solution to his disrespecting you and causing you problems. You don't have to put up with anything that he does once he hits that age so why should you? He needs a dose of reality. Children don't care about what parents go through for them. They are ungrateful, selfish, and cruel at times. Your responsibility lies with your dependent child not the adult one. Take this advice is you want your situation to improve!

2006-10-17 01:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Firstly, his brother is not his responsibility. You had the children not him. Is it easy for him to not work? By that I mean is he made to pay his way in your house, does he contribute to the running of the home in anyway. It may be time for you to put your foot down and demand that he does. If his father treated you badly he probably set the example. You need to get some good male role models in this boys life. I bet some of his friends have decent fathers that you could call on for help.

2006-10-17 01:08:06 · answer #3 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0 0

Very few 18yr olds have the 'means' to support themselves in today's society without a roof over their head. If your son has a fear of becoming a man...get him motivated by taking him to the nearest military recruiting office. There is no 'summer break' after high school...it's grow up or move out.

2006-10-17 01:33:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It must be very hard for you. The teenage years can be a very difficult time for both parents and teens as their world views and priorities diverge.

I can only recounted that one Pastor related how his second daughter had drifted, mixed with bad company during her teens and left home at age 16. It was a major struggle for him as he said he was a Pastor and was supposed to be exemplary in his family life. It took 7 years of waiting before his daughter returned to him.

During these years, he said he had to learn to let go, show unconditional love for the disobedient daughter and be there when she needed help.

Surprisingly, her daughter went astray, had a child and later came to her senses, rebuilt her life and completed her basic degree, all by herself and now she is doing her masters.

Sometimes, doing less, achieve more.
Sometimes, inorder to keep, we need to let go.
Sometimes, we communicate more when we say less.
Sometimes, the condition for love is unconditional love.

2006-10-17 01:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by ideaquest 7 · 0 0

I say, give him a date by which he needs to have a job, be paying for all his "extras" like car, brand name clothes, electronics, etc. He also needs specific rules about how to show respect for you and give him a couple of responsibilities for his brother. He should not be allowed to go out with his friends until his responsibilities are met. If he does not meet the requirements by the set date, he should be released to the world to take care of himself. If he is adult enough to choose his own rules, he is adult enough to take care of himself. If he wants your support, he needs to earn his keep. And you have to be firm and follow through.

2006-10-17 01:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Put him out. It sounds harsh, but he needs some real world experience. After all he is of age. I could only stay in my parents house if I worked or was in school those were the rules.

2006-10-17 01:06:33 · answer #7 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0 0

Well it's called tough love...........Meaning what you have to do now is not to cater to him for anything........seriously.........If he is that disrespectful then what you do is just tend to his brother and yourself...Yes fix supper every night like you do, he can eat that , but that is all............Do not do his laundry, or anything else...Breakfast he can fix a bowl of cereal,,lunch, he can make a sandwich for himself....You will be too busy with the house and his brother...the 18 year old can now take care of himself and his room and his laundry.......If not, then he can find a home elsewhere...He is no help to you now.......(hopefully he is out of school) Good luck Mom

2006-10-17 01:17:11 · answer #8 · answered by mom of a boy and girl 5 · 0 0

Well he is now and adult you need to him to act like one by helping out but if he wants to disrespect you and his friends mean alot to him let him know that he needs to get it together or leave simple as that sometimes we dont know what we have till its gone so its time for tough love

2006-10-17 01:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by Jaime T 3 · 0 0

I woulld sit down and try to have a mature mother and son talk. Discuss easch others feelings, you should both try to understand esch other. And dear lady he has no right to be disrespectful he has to see things through your eyes and vise versa.

2006-10-17 01:09:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0 0

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