Do you think it's unfair to pay for your own children via child support?

Question

I posted a question regarding parenting time and got total smack from somebody (a guy, I am presuming) for not wanting to be questioned where I go and what I do when it's not my parenting time!

Now, I will give you a little background info.... I have two daughters (aged almost 9 and almost 11) of which I have received roughly $1200 for in the last 18 months.

I don't really ***** about the child support unless they need money for dance, school activities, and clothing. I am currently not employed to the status that we used to be. In other words, I am not even making half of what I used to due to a downturn in Michigan's economy... but whatever.

What I don't get, is that somebody on here, called me a "leech" when I only asked about parental time and my disgust at having to feel like I need to explain my every move... Even on the ex's parenting time!!

Do you think it's unreasonable to have to pay child support when you don't buy the kids a thing besides toothbrushes/food?

Based on some of my answers, I think that you guys may be reading this wrong!!! I am ordered to RECEIVE child support, not give it!!

I spend hundreds of dollars a month on these kids.... I get virtually nothing from my ex!!!

For all of you ignoramuses out there, joint custody basically means that you both get to see the kids.... It doesn't mean that we are "splitting" parenting time....And if you read my question/details you would have read that I have the kids 25 days out of the month!!!

And I really don't give a crap about the child support, what I do give a crap about is the kids being able to do brownies and theatre and dance!

Every freaking cent I have ever collected from the ex is tripled and then sent to dance and theatre and whatever!

You deadbeats need to go yourself and buy gym shoes for the kids (I walked away $80 later from a DISCOUNT STORE) and buy maxi pads and food!

Then come talk to me...

I challenge any of you who talk smack to me... take your kids for 60 days and see what it costs you... Child support isn't crap after that!

BTW- child support is not a weapon... I guess it can be but to me it isn't...

i have my ex over regularly (2 to 3 times a week for dinner - of which I pay for) and I also give him money for gas and whatever he needs if I have it!

I do whatever is best for the kids... Quit ASSUMING I am evil just cuz I am divorced... Not only is that prejudiced... that's just wrong!!

Answer 1

in a joint custody case i never understood which parent pays child support or if any parent pays child support

usualy if a parent has custody and the other parent has just visitations then the custodial parent should be recieving some type of child support due to the fact that the custodial parent has to bear a greater burden of support for the child such as more food, entertainment, clothing, etc. etc. etc.

children grow fast and parents that do not have a child in their life constantly do not even know the true cost of raising a child, buy them shoes and the next day they outgrow them, buy a 10 pack of hot dogs and one will be eaten while the other 9 are tossed in the garbage with hardly a bite out of them.

normally what i would figure as being fair would be taking all the household bills and dividing then between both parents and children so that each person has a share to pay, then each parent covers half of the childs share of the bills.

economies go up and they go down, i don't know the circumstances of how you wound up making less than half as much as you used to, but child support is not meant for you to use to live a good life off of either, its not meant to suplement your income to go out and party either.

if you recieve any child support and you have joint custody then consider yourself extremely lucky, but don't get overpicky and expect more because you find it hard to go out and party on your salary

child support is just that, mean to support the child and provide necesities for your child

i also happen to be a single father, i have sole custody of my daughter and i haven't seen any child support from my ex in over 2 and a half years, but as long as my daughter has everything she needs then i don't really bother too much about it

Answer 2

Wasn't the child support ordered by the court??

If not, it should have been, and he must pay it. In NC, it has to be paid at the courthouse, in cash, by the first of the month. If not, a bench warrant can be issued.

I sometimes think that courts award too high a figure, and that may be unreasonable if the person that is paying it doesn't get that much time with the children.

I do think that if the person paying wants it, there should be documentation where MOST of the money s going, i.e. clothing, medical.

Answer 3

Why would you have to account to anyone what you are doing on your time, if the Ex doesnt give you any money. What are you saying exactly? You have to tell someone what you are up to all the time?



I think that guys on here (and elsewhere) resent when child support is used as a weapon beacause the wife is a bitter hag that pushed into a marriage that never should have happened anyway. If you avoid being misconstrued as such in your posts, you wont have these types of answers.

Answer 4

Regardless paying child support is beneficial to the kids rather they uses it then or not. Who to say they will not need it in the future. Save what is not needed until needed. Since you are not employed then the child-support money will help make up what you are not able to do. Spend time with your kids and you are not a leech and you should have reported them as abusive on yahoo. You are not unreasonalble and I suggest you pursue your parenting time.

Answer 5

Child support is one of the benefits of marriage.Who is any one to care about what you are doing when the children are being looked after while your away.
Did your husband ever stay home with the children while you went home?
Child support is one of the things Gays want if they break up.Ha Ha no deal.
If you were married for 10 years you can also collect his social security. Another things Gays don't get.
So go sit on a flag pole if you want as long as you provide proper supervision for the children in your absence.
You also should have gotten alimony to maintain the standard of living you had when married. And medical insurance for you and the children.

Answer 6

I read your first question and yes I think you got beat up for no valid reason. You have to understand that there are a lot of people here on Yahoo with their own baggage and issues.... including me. But some are looking for a venue to vent their personal fustration. Don't take it too seriously or too personal.

Sounds like you're a really good mom and really civil regarding the child support. Keep your chin up and hang in there.

Answer 7

I totally agree with you and what you stated about child support is true. Most men think that we go and spend the kids child support on ourselves that is so untrue in my case. Child support in my case went to gym uniforms for school ,football uniforms, baseball uniforms anything that was sports related. I barely had enough to make the house payment. I totally agree child support is to support the kids not the ex-wife. Although alot of men seem to think that is what it goes for.

Answer 8

I dont think your a leech you just want help with your kids and its not fair to do just about everything on your own children are expensive especially the older they get but 1200 is not very much money especially when you break it down into months thats not fair to the kids and you

Answer 9

No i don't hink it is unreasonable to ask for child support especially when the othe parent doesn't really help with the cost of raising their child/children.
Don't feel bad at all for asking for support.
I'm a mother and i know how you feel.

Answer 10

You're right about this question. Yes, you should receive child support. Your last question seemed like you are a handful to deal with for your ex-husband(you complain a lot). You also said you left your husband(and it seems like your personality would bash him if he did something wrong) and your kids are fine. You have 2 daughters who are going to complain and leave their husbands also(use him for procreation and then have him pay when the children are not completely in his life--daily). Poor guy.