I already confronted him about it. And of course he's in denial. I am there for him mentaly, sexualy, emotionaly. I am very affectionate and I sometimes smother him with love at times. So why is he going online chat lines talking to women? I just found out that he has another email address that I didnt know about.
2006-10-16 16:32:17 · 23 answers · asked by vgns360 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lots of ways to cheat without having real sex and dealing with the guilt. Cyber is one of them and you'll find tons of married men doing it, and women for that matter. He's bored. Either start doing things differently and find out what it is he's getting from them that you aren't giving him or let him do it. Maybe you should do it too. Once they find out about all the women on here that are willing to take their clothes off, it's hard to get them away from it. Ever try leaving him? That could make him realize how much he needs you.
2006-10-16 16:42:13 · answer #1 · answered by adkspoiledbrat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a mature man married for 43 years. I get a lot of fun out of chatting on the net. It is harmless and just a flirt really. I always tell the ladies I am married and love to flirt.
It gives me great pleasure when they LOL at my jokes. It is like being a character in a book or a movie and you can create a make believe life. Some women get the fun from watching sex and the city or day time soaps. For a man the interaction of chatting is a challenge. It doesn't mean he is cheating
2006-10-16 17:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by captncluise 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is not about you. He's experiencing some insecurity in himself. Not just men, women too, like to feel that they are desirable to more than just one person.
This is no indication that he doesn't love you very much. Nor that he doesn't appreciate your love & attention, but he may be seeking a little extra validation, even if it is mostly from strangers.
The only thing that I would be bothered about is the fact that he's hiding some of this from you. It indicates that he's feeling a sense of guilt or shame.
I don't partake it on-line chatting with anyone, but I do sometimes indulge in a little harmless flirting with women at social gatherings. I come, I flirt, & then I move on. It gives me a little validation, that I've still "got it" & assures me that my wife isn't just hanging around out of convenience.
I am not aware that any of this does any harm to my relationship with my wife, especially since I have no intention of following through with any of my flirtations.
I can't advise you on how you can get your hubby to stop carrying on his on-line chatting with other women, all I can do is try to assure you that he isn't trying to hurt you, & that you are not an inadequate partner. What's going on, is comming from him, & he's the one who needs to make the changes if your relationship is suffering because of this.
2006-10-16 16:52:25 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ah, Sister-girlfriend. I feel your pain. I just, too, found out this is what my "hubby" has been doing. I would like to rip his stuff off & shove it up is A**! I am in the middle of trying to figure out what to do. I read the other responses people have given you. I am also confussed & hurt & I don't know what to think or believe.
My "hubby" just called me, he said the reason he was doing this is because he is finding himself unable to perform sexually. He said he is unable to have an erection. He said he started doing this to see if it would stimulate him enough to be able to obtain an erection. He said he didn't or still couldn't. So I asked why he kept doing it. He told me that he felt if he could not be a man physically that maybe someone would think he was a man mentally. I don't ever recall making him feel like anything but a man. His penis is not the only thing that makes our sex life!!!
I don't know if I can believe all of this. I know that I am 39 years old & I am far from being a dried up old lady. I know that I have a very healthy craving for a sex life. So, I guess I am wondering if I am putting pressures on him in this mannor.
Then I have to tell myself to stop making his problem be mine. To stop taking his "man-pig actions" & turning them back at myself & making myself be at fault. I am not at fault.
I don't believe there is an easy answer for either of us. I think we have to look inside ourselves & listen to our small little voice that get blaired out by the every day & be true to ourselves. You obviously are hurt & angry at what he is doing. You obviously don't think what he is doing is "nothing". You obviously believe that him cheating on you over the net is cheating on you all the same. So, listen to YOU!!! Only you know what is right or wrong in your heart. Only you can make that decision. Only you can live with your decision.
My heart truly does feel for your situation, because I too am in your situation. I hope you listen to yourself. YOU will make the right decision. I am trying to hear ME too. I trying to weigh the information I was given & do the right thing. I hope you find the advise that works for you. I am searching too. Good luck to us both!
2006-10-18 06:56:32 · answer #4 · answered by shelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop smothering him with love and affection and let him know point blank that you do not appreciate what he is doing on chat lines. If he has even one ounce of respect for you and your wedding vows he must STOP NOW!! If he doesn't, then stop wasting your time and move on.....it's really that simple!!!!! no one in life should have you compromise yourself either mentally physically or emotionally. Remember this "when one door closes in life there is always another one that will open up for you" be strong and trust that it will happen...now go and do the right thing for yourself.....Regards
2006-10-16 16:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by Zeva L 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need marriage counseling. If he's willing to go, he'll fix this problem he has needing other women's attention.
If not, I guess you need to let him go. You can't get over this problem without seeking help through a third party to find out what's going on with the situation. He obviously has a problem. Whether he gets help for it is another story. That will determine whether he's willing to save his marriage with you or not.
I wish you all the best of luck.
2006-10-16 16:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jenna 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your husband is cheating on you, make no mistake about that. taking into account what you've said, he is craving attention from other females other than you, his wife. there are those people both men and women that will say he's only flirting and that its harmless......these people have very slack if no morals or boundaries. get into some councelling and see where this might take you. there isn't much you can do as there are computers everywhere and he will always find a way to get to one to satisfy his "self"
2006-10-16 16:45:03 · answer #7 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is hiding a e-mail address what else is he hiding? I mean why is he chatting with other woman when a man gets married he should not have woman friends at all that is just trouble in your marriage.
2006-10-16 16:46:59 · answer #8 · answered by nursetech 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well obviously something isn't right but knowing just what it is can be tricky. You say you are there for him but that's your opinion.... does he share this opinion and if not why?
Maybe his discontent has nothing to do with sex. Maybe he is lacking in other areas in his life but doesn't know himself just what it is. Encourage him to explore other areas in his life. Maybe he isn't happy in his career, or maybe he needs some positive and creative hobbies to occupy his extra time.
Usually when someone reaches out like he is it is because something is missing in his/her life and more than likely it doesn't even have to do with sex but sex is the easiest thing to obtain these days.
2006-10-16 16:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
coming from a guy i can tell you this honestly. if he's online talking to other women he's not in denial he's just to much a coward to be honest with you, why does he do it. because he doesn't love you. sorry if that's being to brutally honest but hey this is life. and if he says he loves you and still does what he does then you need to face the facts that he's just stringing you along. Just my opinion but if you really love someone why would you need anything else. I wish you luck and the strength to find yourself and someone that would welcome your love.
2006-10-16 16:43:26 · answer #10 · answered by Michael S 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋