If an ex-wife refuses Paternity test on children, is she hiding something?

Question

I posted another question about an issue that my fiancee and I are having w/ his ex-wife, but I also wanted to ask this as well. My fiancee isn't 100% sure that their two kids are his. His ex-wife absolutely refuses to allow the children to have a Paternity test done. She won't say why, but uses the children instead, she told my fiancee that if he wants to have the tests done, then he will have to tell the children 10 & 11, why he wants the test. I believe that if there's nothing to hide, then she shouldn't care if they are tested or not, considering that we're the ones who are paying for the tests. And in fact, the kids never have to know any differently if something bad does come out of the tests. He would still pay child support and buy them anything they needed, but it would allow him to get her under a little more control. He's had problems w/ her ever since they got a divorce, which was more than 8 years ago.

For the guy who said that my fiancee was a loser...well buddy, that "loser" is overseas fighting for your American Rights. As to his rights, she is a very demanding person, one that if you screw w/ her, she'll screw you 10x's worse than you did to her in the first place. He loves his children very much, but he's done allowing her to ruin his life. If by chance, and I don't want it to be, but if one of them or both aren't his, then perhaps she'll get off of her high horse and start acting like a human being to him and myself. He has no problem in paying child support because that's not the issue. The issue is her demeaning mannerisms towards my fiancee and myself. I truly believe that if her own family says that she's mean and a b*tch, then there is definitely something wrong. He's paying child support because he wants those 2 kids to have things that she can not afford to get them. She doesn't appreciate anything that he does and maybe have this test done will change her mind.

Answer 1

Wow... this is a tricky situation. Honestly to me the reason she doesn't want to give your fiancee can be one of three reasons or all...who knows.
ONE- She is being uncooperative on purpose. Maybe she herself isn't sure as to the paternity of her own children. Maybe she is hiding something and to prove that one or all of the kids aren't his can effect her retrieval of child support payments.

TWO- The thought or act of giving her husband a paternity test can reflect poorly on her in various ways and may take it as an insult.

THREE- Has your fiancee ever voiced concern to this topic prior to your relationship? She may be feeling that his doubts as to paternity of their children may be due to you/your presence. That maybe you're interferring! If your fiancee never approached her with these doubts/ questions before then you can see how she mat attribute you to some of this.

To play devil's advocate if I may and give you a differnet perspective, I do feel that if my ex-husband were to question his paternity to our child that I would be not only upset but questionable as to who may be feeding his insecurities since he has never voiced concern over this subject before to me or anyone else. Sorry to say this but I am being honest here...I would take it personal. Asking for paternity tests can seem like a slander to a woman/ (ex) wife. As if he were doubting my sincerity and honor that I had for our past relationship. However, I wouldn't deny his request to paternity b/c I have nothing to hide!

My advice to you would be to kind of fall back to the sidelines and let them sort out the situation alone only b/c it can seem as though you are both attacking her and to be frank their past marriage is really none of your business. Just be there for him when he needs your support and help! You sound like a caring woman who has only her husband's best intentions at heart and I commend you for that! If the situation continues to be rocky he can always go through the courts and DEMAND a paternity test and express that he is both willingly and happy to start/continue child support payments if the results prove he's the father! Good luck with it all and I hope it is all resolved peacefully! I hope I have been able to provide you with a new way of looking at the situation!

Answer 2

You do realize that if he's not the father, one two states allow men to discontinue child support based on non-paternity. I realize what you said, but knowing the paternity of the child is only necessary if he plans to go for custody. Only Pennsylvania allows none bio-dads to gain custody. Though he cannot stop paying child support, she can use the fact to prevent him from having custody. Of course, if she does that, and is not on welfare, than she loses any claim for child support. Such a case happened in Michigan, so the woman went after 15 years retroactive child support on the 27-year-old father. The state supreme court upheld the judgment, without comment on the fact that the woman got pregnant by an 11-year-old boy, when she was 28.

As far as problems with her, he needs to be keeping a daily journal. He will find a manual at the second link below, in the file section. The first one is where you can go to see if he can tape his conversations with her, legally.

Answer 3

I would say she is hiding something. I would force the issue. She will use this against him with the kids but if indeed it does turn out that the kids are not his then she will be the one with the explaining to do.

However... the kids may be his and she is just using this to manipulate his feelings by trying to make him feel guilty for doubting paternity.

Personally I don't see how the outcome could put her under a little more control. If they turn out to not be his then she can still try to guilt him into things.

However, if they do turn out to be his then she has more room to make him feel guilty.

Again though...if they aren't his then he can still get visitation without having to pay childsupport because he is not legally liable for support if they are not his but the courts will still find it in the children's best interest to continue the relationship with him.

So.. weight the options and consequences and make a decision that you can stand by.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear that. The fact that you are married to her makes you automatically the father. You said you just saw the baby at the nursery and left so I understand that she registered the baby by herself. Since she is married to you they don't require your presence there. If you have doubts you have all the right to request a paternity test. You should request it legally , she cannot refuse a court ordered test. Another thing, be ready , just in case it comes up to be yours. Don't feel guilty ... you have all the right to know if the baby is yours or not. Good luck :)

Answer 5

She may be refusing it because she is INSULTED by the audacity of sudden paternity questioning....

Or maybe she feels the support would stop (Which it would) It is this simple. She should have a paternity test if she wants to ensure that the payments keep up... Why would I make payments for a car that is not mine????

Answer 6

You know what, that is a bullsh** excuse. If he was their father for the last 10 or 11 years, why the F*** would he even dream about asking that question now!??!?!?!

You should SERIOUSLY be looking at the man you plan to marry, he is a LOSER.

Answer 7

I just went through something like that with my son, Go into any child support office and tell them you want dna testing because he doesn't think the children are his, if they are it will cost him appox. $125 per child and if not wont cost him any thing. and then she wont have a choice she will have to comply or be fined.

Answer 8

Yes, he definitely needs to push for the paternity test! She has got to be hiding something!!

Answer 9

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RE :If an ex-wife refuses Paternity test on children, is she hiding something?
I posted another question about an issue that my fiancee and I are having w/ his ex-wife, but I also wanted to ask this as well. My fiancee isn't 100% sure that their two kids are his. His ex-wife absolutely refuses to allow the children to have a Paternity test done. She won't say why, but uses the children instead, she told my fiancee that if he wants to have the tests done, then he will have to tell the children 10 & 11, why he wants the test. I believe that if there's nothing to hide, then she shouldn't care if they are tested or not, considering that we're the ones who are paying for the tests. And in fact, the kids never have to know any differently if something bad does come out of the tests. He would still pay child support and buy them anything they needed, but it would allow him to get her under a little more control. He's had problems w/ her ever since they got a divorce, which was more than 8 years ago.
Update: For the guy who said that my fiancee was a loser...well buddy, that "loser" is overseas fighting for your American Rights. As to his rights, she is a very demanding person, one that if you screw w/ her, she'll screw you 10x's worse than you did to her in the first place. He loves his children very much, but he's done allowing her to ruin his life. If by chance, and I don't want it to be, but if one of them or both aren't his, then perhaps she'll get off of her high horse and start acting like a human being to him and myself. He has no problem in paying child support because that's not the issue. The issue is her demeaning mannerisms towards my fiancee and myself. I truly believe that if her own family says that she's mean and a b*tch, then there is definitely something wrong. He's paying child support because he wants those 2 kids to have things that she can not afford to get them. She doesn't appreciate anything that he does and maybe have this test done will change her mind.
Follow 11 answers

Answer 10

you need to go to the friend of the court and they will make her get the test done.it seems like they are not his kids for why she dose not want it done. but go to the friend of the court they will tell you what you need to do.