I had a good friend for the past eight years I met at work. I was always attracted to her but she was with the same guy (and eventually married) the entire time so I did not really think about it happening and was just a good friend to her, and I was cool.
Well she left her husband and decided that the best time to tell me she knew I felt that way about her was after I had some sort of hope it might happen, and she did not want to go there with me. She also picked the worst day of my life to say it (family member's funeral). I could get over her not having those feelings for me, but I couldn't get over her knowing that I was in for a letdown someday (she knew, her words, that her marriage wouldnt last) and never told me, and the really bad timing of it coming out, not to mention she basically got it out of me before I was ready to tell her (like maybe when she wasnt married, I am not the cheating type of guy). I told her I didn't want her in my life anymore, so did I overreact?
2006-10-16 14:46:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Do I think you over-reacted? Hhmmmm....Well considering the timing and circumstances and the way in which she told you I would have to say initially No. However I do think it would be a good idea to at some point when (if) you are ready to just tell her how you have felt but it's never something you would want to pursue with her being married. Then you can let her know how rude and ignorant (maybe not so blunt) it was for her to do what she did when she did it and to lead you on like that. You may be attracted to her but I can tell you she doesn't sound like the kind of girl any guy would want to be with in any kind of serious relationship...just look at all of her actions so far with her husband and with you....UGH!!!! Ya know now that I'm typing this and thinking it through a little bit more...No, you don't want her in your life. What she is doing is sleazy...you deserve FAR better than that!!! Best wishes!!!
2006-10-16 14:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by DreamingofU 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You will feel much differently about all this a year from now, and regret having put her totally out of your life, if that is what you end up doing. At least she was honest with you, and cleared the air, so you are not clinging to some false hope...even though her timing could have been better--but who knows why she chose the time she did; possibly, she a valid reason.
Sounds like you need to grow up, and realize that some things were never meant to be, and that boy-girl relationships that DON"T involve romance can be the best ones you will ever know.
2006-10-16 15:06:07 · answer #2 · answered by Howie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you'd be mad. Did you overreact? Maybe a little. Since you've been friends with her for a long time, I wouldn't necessarily say this is something worth throwing a friendship away over. But at the same time, I don't really see what she thought she was acheiving by telling you she knew about your feelings. What was the point of that, other than making you feel bad? You have a right to be mad, but I wouldn't totally cut her out of your life.
2006-10-16 14:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you're no longer overreacting, you're purely demanding. that's common. i understand that "no longer understanding a canine's historic previous" is a huge undertaking for human beings whilst adopting a canine. that's frequently the case which stops someone from doing so. And that's authentic, you by no ability understand how the canine is going to act. maximum shelters do temperament finding out, that's frequently promising. They attempt them with youthful babies, cats, and canines. you are able to desire to constantly pass to the canine you have an interest in, on your unfastened time. Spend it sluggish with that canine and in case you extremely initiate liking the canine.. carry your canine some cases to come back meet the canine you have an interest in adopting. If each and every thing is going properly and you sense gentle adopting the canine, then so be it. which you need to to check out adopting a youthful person. yet another state of affairs is, (utilising my guard as an occasion) a good style of canines in our shelters come from properties that may now no longer preserve the canine. possibly, by ability of any probability you come back for the era of somebody that is going to provide up there canine, you will have somewhat chat with the owner.
2016-10-02 09:16:22 · answer #4 · answered by duchane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No. Her timing is just bad, not moderately bad but really bad! We all make mistakes though.
Women can be sneaky & it sounds like she was being a little bit that way. Rude, callous, and sneaky. So, I can't really blame you for not wanting her in your life! However, we all get into spaces that lead us astray from our integrity. It is forgiveable.
Just leave things as they are for now. If she is a True freind then she will be back around. If not, that is ok too. But my advice is not to feel badly about your reaction.
2006-10-16 15:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think u overreacted at all. She should hace either told u this back then or just kept her mouth shut. She did pick a bad time to tell u this, so u did the right thing
2006-10-16 14:51:43 · answer #6 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, that was realyl insensitive to talk about things like that at someones funeral..especially a family member.
she needs to be over her previous marriage before talking to you about a relationship anyway.
2006-10-16 14:52:36 · answer #7 · answered by Frank 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you had a right to react the way you did. if you would have gotten into a relationship with her may be it would also have ended just like her marriage to the other guy.
2006-10-16 14:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by Obria 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, there is such a thing as bad timing, but if she is just playing with your feelings, there are plenty of other girls around for you, you will find the right one someday.
2006-10-16 14:52:57 · answer #9 · answered by *~Monai~* 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are pretty selfish if you ask me. It sounds like she can be your friend as long as there is the possibility of you and her getting together one day. I am sure she thought of you as a genuine friend and you took that away from her, giving her no choice. You were a fool for waiting for her for that long.
2006-10-16 14:51:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋