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I am ending my second marriage and I truly do not want to get married again, nor am I interested in any kind of "boy friend"... I don't want to date, or even find someone. And this is not like me... I have always been ready to date someone again. I am not complaining, because it is stressful when you are trying to find the right one, I just want to know if these feelings are normal.

2006-10-16 14:39:47 · 21 answers · asked by next.... 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

21 answers

Oh, yes by all means, it is very normal. Dear, this is just a phase you are going through, the 'I don't need a man' syndrome whereby after two failed marriages, you don't really need to go through that ever again. Kind of like been there, done that. But girl, let me tell you, if you are a red blooded woman, in time to come, you will yearn for companionship. Not necessarily leading to marriage but male companionship to keep those cold lonely nights warm and fuzzy. Believe me, that time will come and when it does, you will revel and enjoy every minute of it! So,cheer up girl and until then, enjoy your new found freedom to the fullest....I wish you all the best!

2006-10-16 14:44:52 · answer #1 · answered by angelheart 2 · 1 0

I wouldn't say it's abnormal to feel that way after 2 trys. There is no set rule that says you have to try again or even be with someone else ever again. I think it speaks very highly of you that you are finally at a place in your life that you feel secure enough to be alone. A lot of women never get there.

However, I think it's unrealistic to believe it will never happen again just because you say it's not what you want. It's been my experience in the past that the minute you say you aren't looking for something the next day it happens. The problem is when you feel incomplete without a man and go out looking you will usually end up settling just to have one around. There's nothing wrong with saying you don't want to get married again but if you keep your heart open God may just send your soulmate along. You wouldn't want to miss out on that, right?

God bless you!

2006-10-16 14:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Your feelings are very normal. Being divorced a 2nd time must be devastating. The statistics for the 2nd marriage are high for divorce. I believe a big part of that is due to people marrying too soon after the 1st and not resolving the issues that led to the 1st divorce. People think the grass is greener...it's not. Marriage is tough and can at times seem like it will never get better, but you stick it out and resolve problems, learn about one another and stop the selfishness. I'm not saying every marriage can be saved, sin is too rampant in this world today, however, we can certainly do our part to make sure "if" we decide to marry, that we marry the right person and do our best to keep the relationship pliable, loving, exciting, trustworthy, etc. etc. Wait a while before dating even. Get to know yourself and what went wrong. I've been married to my 2nd husband for 16 yrs. - we've had tough times but he is the love of my life - it can happen to you! :)

2006-10-16 14:58:47 · answer #3 · answered by Forever 6 · 0 0

Your feelings are totally normal. Going through a divorce is extremely difficult and considered one of the most traumatic experiences a person can go through. The good thing is you guys did not have children which would have made things 100% more complicated Find out what part you played in your divorce. Change those behaviors. Work on yourself, find yourself again, raise your self-esteem. If you are worried, perhaps don't date right now so you can wrangle out the feelings of the end of your marriage. If you date you are taking away from the other person cause you're not over your marriage/divorce yet. Totally normal. It gets better with time. Good luck!

2016-03-28 12:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yes, I believe your feelings are positive and very normal! This is simply proof that you have learned positive lessons from the mistakes of your past. I believe this is an intelligent response. I feel the same way as you do. I was married for 23 years. I'm almost divorced. I've dated a few different men, but I have absolutely NO intention of ever making the mistake of getting married again! Good luck and enjoy your wonderful new life.

2006-10-16 14:45:25 · answer #5 · answered by zia269 3 · 0 0

Yes, it's normal. I was married for 5 years, divorced, then single for 2, now remarried for 8 years. I have been comtemplating divorce for the last year and will probably file in the spring. ANYWAY, being married and being single are BOTH great, for different reasons. That's the important thing to realize, they are VERY different. Neither is necessarily better than the other, it just depends on you and your life at the time, which one you want to be a part of. Love yourself, take care of yourself, and live for YOU! That is not being selfish, it's taking charge of what God gave you - your life. Take care!

2006-10-16 15:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by jaunty-girl 1 · 0 0

The question is: why did you end it? I'ts normal how you feel. Have you seen inside you and see the truth? It was your fault, or wasnt? If was your fault, you better stay away from marriage, because if was your fault your end is gonna be the same. Ask this question to yourself: was it my fault? Its hard to start a new relationship after a divorce because you are afraid. But always there is somebody who really loves you and viceversa. Finding hte right person its like finding a needle in hay.

2006-10-16 14:54:55 · answer #7 · answered by El guapo 5 · 0 0

Yes it is very normal to not ever want to get married again. I'm on my 2nd divorce also and have really thought long and hard whether or not i ever want to get re-married or not. Sometimes its nice to not have to answer to anyone, you know what i mean? But then there has been times, where life gets lonely. Just take one day at a time.

2006-10-16 15:27:48 · answer #8 · answered by pigs71 2 · 0 0

Yes it is normal.

Maybe you just need time to be by yourself and be yourself. We tend to rap so much of ourselves into someone else and when it doesn't work out we feel as if we lost a big part of ourself.

I was never able to truly be happy until I remained single for 5 years. I had always gone from one relationship to another but I never gave myself a chance to be myself.

Now I am with somoene again. And because I learned to be happy with myself I am happy even when he lets me down.

2006-10-16 14:55:15 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Yes they are and if you have chosen to stay single there's nothing wrong with that.But don't give up on love,take some time off to clear you head and heal from your loss.Remember never say what you won't do,cause you could very well find the man of your dreams tomorrow,but miss out because of past relationships.

2006-10-16 14:55:55 · answer #10 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0 0

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