I have been with the same man for 3 years. It seems that each minute, he gets lazier and lazier when it comes to helping out around the house. I work every day, and when I come home, the house might be staightened up or it might not be. He just graduated with a degree in architecture and he hasn't found a job yet. So he sits around all day playing soccer on playstation with his friends, or he is playing tennis, or he is playing soccer, or he is on the internet. I am making all the money right now and am still doing the dishes MOST of the time and doing the laundry MOST of the time and anything else that has to be done here. I don't know if his culture has anything to do with this or not ( he is from Turkey), but I'm getting sick of all of it. Any advice?
2006-10-16 14:22:32 · 4 answers · asked by oceanchic66 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Talking to him is what I try to do and we just end up fighting b/c somehow I am wrong and he is right and he ends up telling me how "little" I actually do.
2006-10-16 14:27:53 · update #1
So far, I have tried everything that you guys are telling me to try. Nothing is working...maybe I should give up.
2006-10-16 14:29:01 · update #2
I may not be a lady.
But I repect what your saying, My wife currently is the only one working. I have a seasonal job as a house painter and well where I live its to cold to get into. but while she is at work I get the kids off to school come home and clean not just a little but I am not afraid to get right down on my hands and knees with a tooth brush and scrub the nasty stuff from around the counters and toliets and having two boys who still haven't learned that aiming is required while peeing there is all sorts of nasty stuff. even when I was working I would come home and clean. I do the dishes and start dinner. I think that a man that doesn't do this should because it gives a man better respect for when there girlfriends or wives do it. this is why I do it and because I hate a dirty house and I respect my wife for working as hard as she does to keep a roof over my head and food on the table while I am out of work.
Suggestion, when fixing dinner make only enough for you. when you do laundry do yours not his, bag his up and set aside. when paying bills tell him you are only going to pay your half of the bill and when he starts asking what is going on tell him that you understand he is looking for work but he still can earn his way by doing the house work while you are at work. and even when he does find work he can share the duties and not depend on you just doing them.
Good Luck!!
2006-10-16 14:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by 4mika 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand what your going through, I am the working woman and my boyfriend sits at home. Truefully what I did was write him a letter. It seemed to get through to him better that way. He is only making you feel "little" because you are right and he cant get off his *** and take responsibility for his actions. Since he is not worried about what work you do around the house , only do what is beneficial for you. Only do your clothes and only fix your food.. Maybe he will get the point.
He also does not do the work because he knows you are going to do it. Take a little of your pride down and wait a couple days and see what he do and write that letter
2006-10-16 22:25:25 · answer #2 · answered by Bantuknots 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you watched the movie "the break up" by jennifer anniston?It's very similar to your situation.
When I lived with my b/f, I do all the chores. I enjoyed doing so only when my boyfriend appreciated my effort. But sometimes we divide labor too.You can talk to your boyfriend,let him in charge of eg. throwing out trash,while you do the laundry.
You can always encourage him when he does something.That works!
2006-10-16 21:27:56 · answer #3 · answered by angela 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him.
Or why dont you stop doing it he will eventually get sick of it. good luck
2006-10-16 21:25:30 · answer #4 · answered by Emma G 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋