How many women here will risk a CAREER TRACK over having a FAMILY?

Question

I had a 35+ year old White/Jewish proffessor named Lora who had gone to plenty of schools and achieved her PhD.

One day I got to talking with her to pry into her mind (I was curious) and basically discovered:

She perffered being a college proffessor making $70,000 a year due to the fact she basically makes her own schedule and didn't have to work 9-5 5 days a week. Though she could easily get $110,000 in the board of ed with those credentials.

She wanted to buy a house and though her credit was perfect, she couldn't afford the mortgage in the area she wanted - especially not alone.

When I talked to her about marriage, that is when you could see she noticeably got tense. She wants to have a husband and children (she'd have availability for children as a proffessor) but frankly, I am not sure how many White men there are who would want a woman who MAKES MORE THAN THEM and holds higher education credentials.

in sociology, there is a term called "MOMMY TRACK" which basically is about women who put off marriage and family in order to get ahead in the workplace. This is a consequence of the baby boomer age - more women in the workplace with proffessional jobs. As many of you allready know however, having a "late family" tends to be just as stressful, if not more problematic than having one in your mid 20's. I myself am currently a male, achieving proffessional degrees in education and I want to marry at 30 or around 30 - as a high paid NYC teacher.
I think I'm basically going to search for a leggy, sex starved female working in education like those hot secretaries and teachers you read about.


I think it is easier for older men to get good wives than it is for older women to get good husbands, especially if you are a high paid man in the workforce.

Do you agree with me on this? Are you women out there willing to sacrifice marriage placing your future family rearing at risk?

purple,

I'm talking about the sex starved women in the proffession who choose a career track OVER raising a family and find themselves ALONE - 30 years old searching for a good man. I'm not talking about a "Paris Hilton" airhead blonde.

Answer 1

No!! In the end, what will be the point of having it all (in terms of material stuff) if you cannot share it with anyone and you are alone? Let´s remember Aristotle's Political Animal:as human beings, we cannot be genuinely free in isolation. We can only be genuinely free if we form part of a community of other free persons. What better community than your own family and the society where you live?
I am a MBA student, and if I had to study between my career and my family, I would drop my career without thinking it twice!
In other words: professor Lora needs love!!!

Answer 2

I would think that a man would respect a woman more if she was as large of a contributing factor to the family as he was.

I would also think that a man would know that the woman loved him, because she didn't need him for economical support, and was there for the compassion.

I am raising my son alone, I work my tail end off, and we have a lot. I will tell you that one thing is that my indepenance is a henders my dating life, because I don't NEED a man. I can change my oil, take out the garbage and all those other "male stereotyped chores" I want someone around for there companionship, there love, and there character not to fulfill the honey-do list. There is 14 years seperating my boyfriend and I and in 1 year I will graduate from College, and enter the workplace at a higher income starting wages than he makes.

Money is just a number. And Credentials are just that, They don't mean your smart. Hell I consider my boyfriend a very intelligent person and he says the same about me, we are just knowledgable about other things.

Answer 3

Fortunately, not all men are as insecure as the ones you described as being intimidated by a powerful, finansially independent woman. Some would gladly marry such a woman, both for intelectual, emotional, and to be blunt, financial benefits. MAny women today do not feel the need of children/ a husband to validate or complete their lives. Of course, some would like these, which is perfectly fine. In the end, it's all up to personal choice. It may be difficult to pursue higher education/employment and juggle small children all at once, though each must decide for herself.
Also, you mention hot young secretaries. As long as all you're looking for is sex, this is fine. However, and man with half a brain would realize that such a woman would most likely make for very dull conversation, and a substantial intellectual gap; they would likely have little in common. Thus, a hot young secretary may make for an interesting fling or affair, but probably not marriage.

Answer 4

i know a lot of women that have great jobs and great families. If I could, i would try and have both. That means get married, go to law school, have kids and find a good paying job as a lawyer. But if i couldn't have both I would chose having a family over having a career. Having a family is more important to me.

Answer 5

My what a catch you are. First of all having families in your 30's allows you to make some choices that are good for the kids, like one partner staying at home to raise them. Usually in your 20's, you can't afford this choice and you wind up with kids in daycare with strangers raising them. Also women in their 30's tend to make better mothers because they are less likely to question themselves and they have a better understanding of what is important in life and what isn't.
Parenting is hard work, never ends and the rewards are subject to opinion. Its not for the faint of heart or the weak of character.
Women should never rely on a man to support them or their families. If a woman cannot do that on her own, she has no business reproducing. You have no guarantee that your spouse won't become disabled or die. Or simply be so self absorbed that he is worthless.

Answer 6

After reading all the parts of the question, and the comments you added, I focus on a few parts that stand out as needing to be addressed in this forum.

As far as immaturity goes -- you state that you are about 30 years of age, going to be a professional educator, in school (probably for Advanced Degree study right now?) and ...

the ONLY focus of your attention in finding a potential date/mate is that you want "SMOKING HOT Secretary or Teacher like you read about ..."? (and why the racist focus on "White Men"?)

THIS is NOT a professional attitude, nor one that will EVER attract any sort of woman with any credentials or self-esteem at any time.

A woman today MUST, of necessity, prepare for HER future, and that means that We, the FEMALES of the world, ARE Turning to the work world, and further education/training to support ourselves and pay our bills.

Like anyone else (including Males), we must of necessity pay for that education, and we must work our way up the ladder of success -- and that means we WANT to be treated with DIGNITY and RESPECT -- and receive the SAME pay for the SAME effort as our MALE Collegues in the SAME position or with the SAME level of Responsibilities in the work world.

As women have learned the HARD LESSON that Males are NOT willing to be there in the long run to provide for the CHILDREN they "donate" their sperm to create, we must of NECESSITY continue to work, and that means even more training, more education, and more work.

For a Single Mom, who is working full time, providing full time care for HER children (because the IMMATURE Male leaves, steals everything, destroys/damages property, torments her, does NOT support the children (DEADBEAT DADS) -- this is MORE than an unequal burden -- and one which SHE BEARS ALONE.

When you talk about purchasing a home -- we, the Single Parent, MUST make compromises between what we dream of, and what is ADEQUATE to support the needs of the family. The same with the Utilities, the Food, the Things needed to successfully raise a child on our own -- BECAUSE MALES DO NOT Want to provide for their Families, and the LAWS do NOT support HOLDING The MALE RESPONSIBLE to PAY for the children they helped 'produce'.

There ARE men out there who are "MALE Gold-Diggers" (god only knows -- my own ex is this way) -- who DEFINITELY Marry a Professional Level Female for the MONEY and things she EARNS and OWNS -- and ...

SHE learns quickly about this -- AND SHE sacrifices to make it out of the situation alive and with the ability to breathe and live another day --

THE ONLY REASON is because she KNOWS that she DOES NOT NEED This kind of ANCHOR hanging around her neck, destroying her piece by piece, taking her down -- because the Gold-Digging Male is UNABLE to deal with the REALITY of being an Adult in everyday life.

So yes, there are men out there who do care for and cherish their more highly educated wives, but they are RARE indeed.

More often than not, the Higher Educated Female becomes prey for the Gold-Digger just like her Male Counterpart.

Answer 7

Never, never, never, MY family always come first. I have had plenty of oppotunities to take good positions, but because of the time it requires it would impose on my family time. Sorry, but my husband and children always come first. I could never find "TRUE" happiness in money or "CAREER", but in FAMILY I could.

Answer 8

I would chose family. In fact, I believe "nice_boobs", (lol) said it best. Careers are purely materialistic. Family is far more spiritual.

Answer 9

I definitely would. Careers earn money. I can love money, but money will never love me. I can love my profession, but my profession will eventually forget me.