He told me that he feels deprived sexually from me, I ask him if I was the first girl to ever deprive him sexually and he said yes. It has really bothered me, I defintely don't want to have sex w/him now. He told me he was sorry, but is has really gotten to me. I was just wondering if anybody else had the same problem or any answers.
2006-10-16 12:46:26 · 17 answers · asked by ehauber33 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I guess I should explain this situation a little more. We've been together for 6 months, we have (had) a good sex life. But I have been under alot of stress lately, more than lately about 2 yrs of it. I also had a hystrectomy about 6yrs ago no hormones sometimes my sex drive is gone..... I love him very much, he treats me good, I guess it was my fault for asking him about other girlfriends and their sex life. anyway I would still like a response good or bad.
2006-10-16 15:06:28 · update #1
Eeew. That would get to me too. Maybe you could explain to him why you are not having sex with him every five minutes (ie, work, school, other stresses, his bad breath, his behavoir). Then tell him what you need to feel like you want to be intimate with him.
2006-10-16 12:49:13 · answer #1 · answered by -- 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that by deprived you mean not enough.....
I honestly do understand how you feel. But I do have to caution you that if you decide to go through with the "I'm definitely not having sex with him now" comment he will eventually get tired of waiting and start looking elsewhere.
What you 2 should really do is sit down and discuss what's acceptable and come to an agreement on the issue. Try to look at it from all angles, if he feels deprived he may also be trying to tell you that you really do mean a lot to him, it could be considered a compliment too. A lot of women would be pretty happy to have their man tell they want them more often. Sometimes it's not "just a sex thing", it's his way of showing you he really does care.
Talk to him about it before you cut him off and you both end up losing out.
In the case of you holding out on sex for a marriage commitment, then HOLD YOUR GROUND!
Do not give in for any reason, if he really loves you and respects you he will honor your decision regardless of being deprived.
2006-10-16 13:05:24 · answer #2 · answered by KIRRA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, like it or not, it sounds like he has a higher drive than you do... Hopefully, you two can meet in the middle where both of you are comfortable. I've always thought I had the lowest sex drive on the planet, but I am now married to my match (he wants sex even less often than I do, so it breaks down to about once a month). Most guys want it nearly every day, tho - and it's been a real problem for me, I just don't care about having it all the time.
2006-10-16 12:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my early twenties I dated a lot and enjoyed sex about twice a week. Now in my late twenties and married, I have a really low sex drive. Not sure if it's due to 8 years of birth control pills - I've also had numerous problems down there and several surgeries - so I guess I can say it freaked me out and scared me enough not to want it anymore. I feel bad for my husband but he remains understanding. I never want it. I don't really like it - doesn't do a thing for me. I understand exactly where you're coming from.
2006-10-17 02:44:29 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you waiting until marriage to have sex with him? It sounds like it, but wasn't sure from your question.
He might have just been talking out of frustration or lack of patience. A man's hormones are something fierce...this doesn't mean he doesn't love you or isn't willing to wait, he was probably just voicing something that was going on in his head that he should have kept quiet about. Sometimes we don't think and we just say what we feel and it doesn't turn out too well. I suspect that's what happened here...don't take it too hard.
2006-10-16 12:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's sexually deprived? Did someone cut off both his hands? He needs to get his head screwed back on so it points straight ahead.
2006-10-16 12:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to buy a blow up doll and pretend it's you. You're not putting out and that's the best solution you can offer him to help him get over his "feeling of being deprived."
2006-10-16 12:54:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is trying to play you for a fool. This is 1 of the tricks that guys try to pull to get in you pants. It's clear to see that you are not feeling him that way. In other words your feelings for him are not strong enough to make you want to sleep with him. Cut him loose before he talks you into something that you really don't want to do.
2006-10-16 13:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is playing mind games with you and trying to guilt you into more sex. Advise him it is good thing you know now so that you can make plans, and unless he is willing to sit down and talk about this entire matter with you, and why now is he telling you all this , do make plans
2006-10-16 12:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, lets get this straight. He expresses to you how he feels (everything women tell men says that WANT us to express how we feel) and because he expresses how he feels you want to hold out on him... Hmm, maybe you should look in the mirror for the problem on this one. What would you have preferred, him to break up with you because he wasn't happy with the sex? At least he told you and now you have a chance to fix the problem.
2006-10-16 12:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by AirDevil 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋