I am approaching my 50th birthday. Have been divorced about 2 yrs. Was married 25 yrs. The dating world has changed in the last 25 yrs. I have met a man that I really care about but the intimacy side of a relationship scares me to death. I have only been with one man in 26 yrs. Has any other woman dealt with this? The thought of exposing my 50 yr old body terrifies me. I'm kinda petite but I'm not 25 yrs old any more either. My ex and I didn't have a great sex life and I'm scared of history repeating itself. I'm very reserved and not into the wild stuff. Are there men out there that don't want Ho's in bed? Any advice?
2006-10-16 12:38:57 · 12 answers · asked by LifeIsChanging 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well Im not 50 yet, but I have been there, when my husband and I seperated, I had no idea how to flirt, and I was to scared to even think about having sex with anyone. good luck. I think I like it better being alone.
2006-10-16 12:44:49 · answer #1 · answered by theladylooking 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not 50ish, but i have been in the same shoes you are in now. I am remarried after a 10 year marriage. In that marriage I had two wonderful children, as you know most pregnant women get stretch marks. I was divorced when my second child was only 1 1/2, so my body wasn't what it was before. Being intimate with another man, scared me to pieces, who would want to see a disfigured woman, with not so perky boobs? This is how I saw it and when I reached a point of that part of the relationship coming up, I either put it off until the relationship fizzed, or I just ended it before it became an issue. With my new husband, it was so different, he saw me in a way that no other man has seen me before, he looked past what I saw about me and loved me anyway.
We are all getting older and my butt, boobs and belly is not that of a teen anymore, and that is o.k. I am assuming that the man you are dating is about your age......I am willing to bet that he has things about him he is not so sure of either and wishes he could change, if you have met a kind and caring man, he will see you for who you will understand where you are sexually, and listen to your concerns. Good luck and have fun.........sex is clumsy, and awkward anyway and you can have fun learning from eachother.
2006-10-16 13:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I am not 50, I was 30 when I got my divorce
and I was and am sexy (size 4)
but I stay 3 1/2 years before I let anyone come near me
it was not fear about my body but
about sex, deseases also my x was a bad lover but because i was not experience I did not any better
and I did meet someone we being married now for 2 years 3month and he is the best
You will meet someone when you are ready
and you will not care what your body look like
by the way have you seen today's 25 year old
they either bone & skin or fat wear too much make up
man just want them for quicky no more
2006-10-16 12:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cast your fears aside. 25 yrs ago, scientists didn't know that sex and love is separate. Today, we have more clues, and love wins out everytime. You must be really great to have kept a relationship going for 25 years, and any woman should be proud of that. As long as you love each other, nothing will separate you. Being optimistic is very important part of "freeing" yourself, and truely falling in love, and being loved. If you feel that you don't want to... he cannot force you, but you must have love.
2006-10-16 13:07:28 · answer #4 · answered by DN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm also over half-century old, but a long-term single (approximately decade and half POST Divorce) -- and yes, there are men out there NOT looking for sexual relationships -- and I enjoy the friendship and KNOWING that I don't have to have them in my home or pressuring me for something that was just downright not pleasurable anyways (sorry -- would rather have a friend than a bed partner -- the friend treats me with more respect).
Just take it slow -- you have only 2 years post divorce, and you are looking for companionship. You need to relax, just be friends first, and just enjoy day trip activities with your friend -- because as everyone gets older -- they are not necessarily thinking with hormones, but with the fact that they want companionship.
2006-10-16 12:46:02 · answer #5 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I faced the same prob---married 24 years & divorced 2 before becoming intimate with new hubby. I think if he loves you, he will be expecting those saggy baggy parts! Take it slow, be honest with him, and I hope he's as much better a lover as MY new man is!!!
2006-10-16 12:52:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't let your age scare you,many of us are not young anymore. if you have met a man you care for than don't be afraid, your age matters little.as men get older they aren't as sexual as when they were young.they slow down too just like women do.maybe it had something to do with your husband that you didn't respond too well to him.
2006-10-16 12:47:26 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this man really likes you, he's not going to care what your body looks like. Relax, enjoy being with him and don't worry about things. Have a blast dating him, you'll be alright!
2006-10-16 12:46:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I prefer women that are reserved. Try to instigate sex a couple of times a month and you will keep him happy.
2006-10-16 12:46:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men especially older men want to please the woman in bed they will do most anything to get you to orgasm. Just take it slow and easy and good luck
2006-10-16 13:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋