Who I really am?

Question

So throughout life you learn a lot of things about yourself. Some things help you find yourself, other make it more diffucult to do just that. I'm at a point in my life where I'm very confused about who I really am. I believe that I try to be who others need me to be. And unfortunately I'm alright with doing that if it'll make everyone happy in the end. But that is only going to get me so far. Eventually I am going to have to know who I am before I can truly let anyone else know me. You know that saying 'You have to love yourself before you can let others love you'? Well I've always been like, I do love who I am, so I'm fully capable of letting others in and loving them back. However, how can you love someone you dont even know. I don't know myself. There are so many things about myself that I have yet to figure out. But now, more than ever, is the perfect time for me to "find myself". So can anyone help me figure out how to do this?!?

I didn't mention that I am still young. I know that I have plently of time to really discover myself. But to be in a relationship or have good friends, I need to be able to show them who I really am. But do keep in mind that I am only 17, so I can't just get up and leave everything around me, although that might be helpful, haha

I do write, all the time. Its one of my favorite things to do. And through that I have learned some things about myself. But when I go back and read them, I often find negative things about myself. I think I am becoming a better person through my writing though. And I do try to have some alone time to think, but some times that just depresses me because I think of all the bad things I have done and what not. I have always wanted a therapist to talk to, but my mother doesn't see it necessary, so there isn't much i can do at my age...

Answer 1

spend some time alone. seriously. i live in a dorm and i have a single room all to myself, and it has really helped me realize what i want and don't want. i dont compromise what i want or give in to anybody else's wants because there is no one else here!! then i take that strength in myself, that knowledge of what i want, and i apply it to when i go out with my friends on the weekends. i apply it, but sort of twist it so that the other person gets what they want too. and know that it's ok to do what you have to do to get what you need too. it's hard to explain, but spend some time alone and maybe you will begin to understand where i'm coming from.

Answer 2

There is no magic "Find Yourself" pill. Generations of people have had to endure this same struggle you are currently experiencing. The only good thing is that nearly everyone comes out unscathed.

One good way to find yourself is to get away from everything familiar to you. For many people, this involves travelling. So pick up your backpack and go to Thailand or something. Once you are in an entirely new place, having entirely new experiences, you will understand yourself more fully.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Getting to know ones self takes a lifetime...because we are constantly changing and evolving and growing. And that is a good thing. One thing is you are always people-pleasing which makes you put all your needs second, and you need to find the time for yourself and things to make you happy---that's not selfish, that's part of learning who you are and what you like, and don't like---part of growing.Write a journal, take "alone"time for yourself, do whatever makes you happy. Meditate, listen to music, and try being alone with nature; sitting outside under the stars, and looking upward and let your mind just flow,,,

Answer 4

The question you need to ask is...Who do you want to be?
When you decide that....become it.
Love is a choice and acceptance of who you are already no matter how many "flaws" you think you have.
Loving someone else is the same acceptance.
Give yourself what you give others.
Make yourself a priority.
See a therapist to help you get some answers.

Answer 5

wow , this is a toughit..i completely understand everything that you just said..b/c you just explained me a few years back...im only 23 but i have gone through this....its almost like..you accept who you are, and you like how you live your life, BUT you know that there is alot out there to understand...and emotions unfelt...and things that you havent experienced and therefore dont know how you will react to them...its hard to explain, but i can say this...i stopped going to college after 1 and 1/2 years...i started bartending, stayed at my first job and made greeaaattt money..BUT i didnt do much, i mean i had a great time, bought a billion dollars in clothes=), went on great vacations, had a crazy time going out with crazy people and met millions of people...but i didnt have a goal..i wanted one, but i ididnt have one..and that depressed me....then my grandfather passed away....during that really hard time, i lost alot of friends due to dumb, dramatic reasons(they turned out not be to great friends anyways) but i was so lost UNTIL my mother and grandmother proposed i go stay with my grandmother in florida.(.she lives there half the year and here in new england half the year...)kinda to help her out, the first year without her husband..so i did it...i quit my jobs(my first job was always there if i needed it) and moved to florida....got to know m y grandmother which is a blessingin itself, met new people, saw things and place and basically lived at the beach which is a dream in itself...but the point is...i didnt know what was gonna happen, sure i had a home to return to, but the fact that i packed my tiny little car, drove to florida, got a job and eventually met my fiance..changed my outlook on life and myself. its the things that you never see yourself doing that change your life, the unexpected...i think that in time, an opportunity will come along that will teach you so much about yourself, you just have to let it happen...iits probably not the answer you want to hear.. but you sound level headed and like somewhat of a dreamer( the best thing to be=) so i think that life will fall into place..take some chances and alwasy remember what is truly important-family-and one day you will wake up and say- wow, i never imagined id end up here, but youll be happy when you do- GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 6

Get a journal and spend time writing down the things you like, dont like want need and desire and it might help but you are talking a life time of twists and turns. When you were twenty you wanted certain things liked disliked etc. We are all forever learning about ourselves and that takes a life time.

Answer 7

Only you can answer that - thru trial and error. Do something you have never done before,join a ministry at you church, just do something that is selfless and makes you happy to do it. When you find something that completes you, you have found yourself.

Answer 8

Go out and do things that you haven't done before. Try new things and discover yourself.

Answer 9

make alist ask yourself what do you like and what you dont like ask yourself what type of job you want what makes you feel good about you the answers will come to you

Answer 10

only you can do this ... but to be honest it sounds as if you know yourself pretty well .. i think you need to just evaluate who you are and make minor changes for yourself, don't do things to please people ... do things to please yourself ... and learn that it's okay to say no to things you don't want to do.