My ex and I were together for a while before I got pregnant, then he moved in with me, he left 3 days after the baby was born because he wanted me to move into a manufactured home with him. After seeing how much he drank and how violent he was I decided that wasnt the best thing to do. It has been six months and even with a job I am unable to pay my bills and I feel like I am about to be homeless. The baby had surgery last month so I was without a job while she was recovering. He isnt helping me. I have filed for child support, that is going to take some time to get rolling. He has moved his new girlfriend and her 2 kids in with him, bought a new car and all of that while I am struggling to make ends meet. I dont know what to do. Has anyone been in a simillar situation or have any advice for me? I am having a really hard time right now.Please help me!
2006-10-16 10:28:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont feel like the lone ranger! I am going through a simillar situation with my childs father. He helps out sporadically, but not enough, so I filed for child support and I try to do my best with what I have to take care of my baby. She didnt ask to be here and he is the one that will have to answer to not taking care of her! It is a shame when you have to put a man on child support because he wont be responsible. You should consider yourself lucky that he is showing you exactly how he is now. I used to beat myself up for choosing a loser, but it is so hard to know when they lie to you. Dont listen to the fools that criticize you, you fell for an ***. It happens to the best of us! I pray that you get it together for you and your baby and make some calls to some agencies to help you. I had to make some real sacrifices as far as the lifestyle I am accustomed to. Try to get on housing and help with your bills by calling some local agencies and churches.
Dont give up on yourself! Pain makes us stronger and you will get over all of this, trust me! Much Love to Ya!
2006-10-16 11:37:59 · answer #1 · answered by Lou Lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not here to criticize you,We have all made mistakes and the ones who wrote not to get pregnant again .Well all I can say is if they haven`t walked in your shoes then there advise is basically null.I have been ther with two boys.Was living with my parents mom was watching my boys while I worked.Came home one day folks told me to get out by Friday.That only gave me three days.So I went and got a cheap motel and arranged for a sitter until I could get paid.I did several different jobs and finally moved into a cheap trailer.The rest is history .never take advise that does not sound practical.You have the ability to be successful in life its hard but I know you can do it . Hold your head up and you will make it. Good luck and may God be with you.I wish you and the baby well.You will get lots of advise to use public assistance .My advise before you go that route go to some Church outreach places.They will give you assistance
2006-10-16 10:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by xlhdrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you're going through, really I do. My ex left me with 2 kids and times were hard. I worked 2 jobs and refused to give up, I had kids that needed and depended on me to take care of them and I vowed to myself to do the very best I could. Throughout the years things got better. My kids are now grown, work and support themselves. I bought my own house, car, furniture, etc. and never asked anyone for anything. The last I heard the ex was living with his mother, has a problem keeping a job and is a mess. He did me a favor by leaving, I should send him a "Thank You" card lol.
2006-10-16 11:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stay up with whatever paperwork, etc you need to make him pay child support. I know they can make it difficult, but do not let that lapse. He needs to be supporting your child!
Unfortunately, there is little you can do about how he spends his money now. It doesn't sound like he'd be reasonable if you were to talk with him.
As for you and the baby. Look into your local WIC (Women Infant Children) program. They will help with basic groceries such as milk, cheese, peanut butter, etc. You may also qualify for food stamps or state food assitance if you are low income (and it sounds like you are).
I don't know what state you are in, but many also offer free or very low cost healthcare to children from low income families. this should help with your babies medical bills. Medicaid is also an option for both of you, although sad to say, they don't always cover much.
Another great group to look into is your local Catholic Charities. They help many families with grants to pay utility bills, buy medicines, groceries and the like, and you DO NOT need to be Catholic to apply. They are available to all needy persons in their communities. They won't pay your bills for a year or anything like that, but they can help fill the gaps for a little while.
There are also government programs that will train single mothers for good paying jobs and also cover child care. You could probably get more info on this when you looked into public assistance or food stamps.
Good luck...and keep on top of that dead beat.
2006-10-16 11:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by Sativa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I was there with two kids at the time. I had to stoop to filing for assistance with the county even, but you know what? That humiliating experience got me a court date very quickly and I was able to cancel the assistance within the first month. My prayers are with you =) Make sure you request the court assign him to pay medical and dental insurance as well...just a thought considering your child's surgery.
2006-10-16 10:33:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur poor baby but file a complaint on him if he is not willing to pay child support then he can pay for charges or getting out of jail. i say you rock for trying your best on supporting you 2
2006-10-16 10:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing for u to do is keep you head up, and forget bout the guy. he's a dead beat dad. look into government programs for single parents, maybe there u can find the help you are looking for.
2006-10-16 10:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by Henry P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you picked a beaut to be the father of your child and now your child will pay for it for the rest of her life.........get her on medicaid and get yourself
on welfare thru D>C>F> until you can get on your feet. next time, don't get pregnant.
2006-10-16 10:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SOME MORALS ABOUT YOURSELF YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION. sORRY i CAN'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE SO DUMB AND BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF NOW YOUR KID HAS TO SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOUR POOR CHOICES!!
2006-10-16 10:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sue him for non cooperation
2006-10-16 11:43:48 · answer #10 · answered by Black Sayuri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋