Would you forgive your father if he sexually harrase you at 15?

Question

My dad nad mom were going through a separation when it happened. My mom used to let my dad pick us up over the weekend so we can spend time with him. 6-8 months after they separeated- my dad harrassed me. We all had gone to the movies with my dad that night and came back tired (my 2 bothers and me) so we went to sleep. My dad left to get a couple of drinks with his borther. Whne he came back it was like 1am. I felt him coming in (we slept in a room that he rented at his borhters when we stayed over). I'm sensative and hear every little sound no matter how tired i am. I heard him come in and he ksised my cheeck and said i love you good night. A few hourse later i felt him going under the covers trying to feel me why i slept. At first he pretended to rub my back kuz he saw i was waking up then- he proceded and started touching my butt which felt wron. He kept telling me that it was normal and it would feel good. I told him i didn't feel comfortable with him doing that so I

went to sleep again and 2 hourss later he started again touching me. THis time i had rolled over and was on my back. He proceded to touch me and went under my pants. He sat on his knees with his weenie out strocking it while he watched me sleep. HE put his hands inside my pants and his fingers in my stuff. I got up quick and ran out of the room. My brothers woke up and my dad told them that i wasn't feeling good and went to take fresh air. Next mornig was sunday and he used to go to church. He got mad a me because i didn't want to go. I felt like my dad was teh biggest hypocrite in the world after what he had done. I ran out in the night because he had suggested to let him "put it inside" and it scared me. I told my family and his family didn't believe me. My mom did she was supprotive of me. When we were gonna report it to the cops my grandmother (his mom) begged us not to do it so we didn't. I'm now 24 and have forgiven my dad for it what would you have done?

I can't forget about it and wouldn't trust him with my kids now but- people tell me i shouldn't even talk to him.

Answer 1

i would forgive but i wont forget and trust me i wont forget i had something like that happen to me my uncel tryed to rape me and it was not something that you could forget yeah i try to pretend like it never happened but in reality everytime i see him my eyes fill up with tears is something that hurts and i was young and didnt know what was going on but know i dont let that get to me it made me stronger to look at guys and see how they really are and now i am a stong boricua lady

Answer 2

If you're out of that situation now, forget about it and move on. The more you dwell on the subject, the
worse you are going to feel and the more vivid the
recollection will be. Stay away from him and be more
aware of the effects of alcohol upon people in the
future.

Answer 3

NO!!!! You don't...

Know one has the right to do that to anyone! Specially to a child... I mean would you do that to your own children? No huh? I say call the police, He can start touching you now and maybe rape you in the future.. So stop it while you still can... I understand this is your father but you need to be respected... Please tell your mom and have your mom call the police before you get hurt even more...!!! You may never know if he would does it your yonger brothers or other children... Please let someone know!!! Its not NORMAL

Answer 4

No. I could not find forgiveness in my heart. The trust/bond between Father and child would be forever gone. If you truly found forgiveness for your Father,you are very brave.Your Father does not deserve such a forgiving Daughter. Good luck in your future.

Answer 5

Have you ever talked to him about this in private?
Give him a chance to apologize. He was drunk and separated from his wife and was seeking comfort from you. It was very wrong. And I bet he really regrets it.
So, if he's been a good dad otherwise, give him a chance. And yourself a chance to begin a new relationship. You only have one dad for you whole life. You will regret not getting over this with him.

Answer 6

Um, thats a little bit more than sexual harassment, more like molesting.

I really don't think I would be able to forgive someone that violated me like that, especially my father.

How long ago was this? Are there any other kids around him now, I think you should report him to someone or at least tell someone else about it.

Answer 7

Whether or not you can forgive him is up to you. Only you know whether or not your relationship can be maintained.

Have you spoken to him about it since then? Does he know how it made you feel?

Perhaps these are issues that need to be resolved before you can resume any kind of relationship with him.

You mention that people have told you that you shouldn't talk to him. I would say that it's not up to them. They do not know you or your father. What you do or what you feel is right for you. If you can forgive him, then all credit to you.

Answer 8

honey, you need to get off the computer and talk to a counselor...how long ago did this happen? This is not normal, cause my dad did it to me, until I finally wised up and told him to stop....That was like 30 years ago...I should of reported it, but didnt wanna get dad in trouble...its a sickness in men....I forgave him, but I will never forget....its a hard situation....Good luck

Answer 9

that is tricky. i think you should tell him that you remembered what he did last night and you were confused and scared. tell him that you aren't going to make a big deal about it, but you would if he continued to do it. if he comes in again at night, sit up and stare at him like you are wide awake. hopefully this will scare him into leaving. if he still persists, tell your mom what you should do.

Answer 10

Sorry to tell you this but him ur father is a sick man.Don't forgive
your father. Tell your mom or a school guidance counsiler
(sorry for the bad spelling)