and had the relationship work out?
My man has hit me a few times in the past, and he down plays it and said he was sorry, and he wants this to work out (we have a kid togetheraswell) the last incident was in febuary 06.
I have alot of anger for him, and I dont want to have sex wth him or be intimate with him these days and it is because of that.
He says I have certain obligations to perform as wife (get it) but I dont care to be with him like that right now.
I have been a stay home mom for 3 years and due to him NOT wanting me to work (very controlling) I have stayed home and been a wife and mom.
He says if I leave I will not get our son becuase I dont have a job and that I should sign him over to him.
He works out of town so I said I would get him, I dont know what to do.
Can this be worked out?
We did councelling and it didnt work.
Can a relation survive a few incidents of domestic battery?
2006-10-16 09:50:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO! hope you are not headline news tomorrow...and NO i would never been around for the second time an he would still be in jail!
2006-10-16 09:53:35 · answer #1 · answered by kierstead 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO and NO!! I never allow anyone to hit me, ever! If a guy ever hit me, it would be the very last time he ever hit a woman. Period. I have family that would take care of him in an instant, and would let me stay with them until I got a place to live and a job.
There are agencies that will help you and your son. GET OUT NOW!! DON'T put up with this crap! He is telling all of this to you to control you and to continue to hit you. It will only get worse, maybe even lead to you being put into the hospital or dead. Do you want him to be alone with your son and take it out on him if you are in the hospital or dead? I don't think so!
Call the local women's shelter. They will meet you somewhere outside of the home (say a store or a friends home) in case he decides to come home. They will give you and your son a place to stay, and protection. They will help you to get a restraining order on this jerk, get you into groups and classes there so you can know how to recognize this in guys so you won't go back to it, lead you in the right direction for a place to live and a job, etc. You DO have choices. Use them!
With the restraiining order, the courts will see that he is not to be trusted and will NOT give him your son. He is trying to scare you into staying for that reason. NO ONE deserves to be hit or controlled, including you.
If you can't go to a shelter, then call a friend or family member to put you and your son up for awhile. But still be sure to get a no contact restraining order right away. A regular one is only as good as the paper it is written on. A no contact one means he can't contact you in any way, shape, or form without getting arrested.
Don't hesitate in doing any of this. Your safety, and most of all your child's saftey, is in jeopardy and depends on you to do this. And no matter what, DON'T back down at any time! Just get out while he is at work, ohly take what you can carry, and never look back.
2006-10-16 10:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by honey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have only slapped the wife once. She hit me first and wanted to keep yelling and accusing me of things. Even her sisters tell her I was in the right that time. I do not expect to get hit several times and have to leave my house. I stopped at a friends and drank a couple beers then come home to this. I am a good husband. If she called the law then she would be single and not have her spoiled life. I make good money and her and her kids have always had what they need. She also only worked because she wanted too. You need to learn how to talk to each other by yourselves to come to an agreement. Or leave each other. You need no one else to tell you this but it is nice to have that person that each of you can talk to about problems.
2006-10-16 10:22:21 · answer #3 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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If you have documentation that he has hit you (police reports, etc), then this is a line of bull that he's using to keep you around.
IMHO, once can be considered an "accident". Twice is not. More than twice is a habit, and you need to leave him.
How soon before he stops hitting you and starts hitting your son, do you think?
You don't deserve to be treated like that. Neither does your child. Contact the police or domestic violence groups in your area and find a way to get some help to get out on your own.
2006-10-16 09:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a man one thing.
MEN I said MEN do not hit women. This little boy you have is not a MAN. Get you and your son OUT NOW!! If I was your father he would be looking at the back side of some flowers.
This little boy your are married to will hit you again he will soon start in on your son.
As my wife said Be a woman and a mom and Get some **** and get out.
2006-10-16 10:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I were very emotionally abusive towards each other. During an arguement she pushed me across the room. I picked up a frying pan from the sink and told her to beat it. The end result are 2 charges against me, a night in jail, a 1yr. protection order, and divorce proceedings. I learnt the hard way and would never do anything like that again. If your husband assaults you again, phone the cops and scream blue murder. If he does'nt learn from that, then kiss him goodbye.
2006-10-16 10:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
16 years my x told me every time was the last time. i was raised by an alcoholic mom who beat me, so living with a man who occasionally would lash out seemed like something I could live with. but I cheated on him many times-just to feel some love and to feel wanted.
I finally left and it was the best thing I have done.
i have had a bunch of broken bones and a broken heart, but I dont think they can change.
Dont take too much.
Your child will be impacted by it and it something they never get over.
2006-10-16 09:56:24 · answer #7 · answered by cici 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in an abusive relationship in the past and luckly I got out when I did. It wasnt worth it and I deserved and found better. He always said I was overracting and that he didnt do anything wrong. I knew I had to get out when one day he handed me a knife and said "kill yourself because you arent worth anything to anybody." that did it right there for me. Report him is what I would do. If he has abuse charges against him he wont get your son, but you need to get out for your safety and your childs safety. Dont stick around because if he loves you he wouldnt be doing this to you. He needs to get help.
2006-10-16 10:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, let me help you here,first of all if your married to him or not if you say no to sex,and he insists obligation,its called rape,yes you can get him on rape charges he does not own you or your body.You need to get out of that marriage he is a control freak,take your child move in with a friend and divorce him and get a job,dont let him bully and belittle youget out now.I would get a restraining order on him to stay away from you and your child,talk to the police also,they know about this stuff.
2006-10-16 10:18:51 · answer #9 · answered by shepardman1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I ain't a woman but I have pushed a nerve that runs beneath a woman's collar bone on my wife after she slugged me... As far as that idiot that thinks he is a man because he can hit a woman... kick him to the curb and find you some one that will treat you like the queen the Bible says you are to be treated like...
2006-10-16 09:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by 57chevy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you don't have to be working to gain custody of your son. In fact let that wife beating jerk support both of you. Get an order of protection, file for divorce, ask for alamony and child support. I have been physically and emotionally abused for years. It gets better, right before it gets worse again:(
2006-10-16 10:01:38 · answer #11 · answered by Doll 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋