18 year old girl with ADHD needs to work?

Question

I have an 18 year old neice I live with, she is a sweet girl, but is driving myself and my sister out of our minds with the constant wanting to use our vehicles and "borrow" $2.00 to $7.00 a day ,not including gas she uses from the cars. She needs to find a way to make at least spending money , no one is asking to pay for groceries or household bills. It is very hard to get her motivated to do most things . The ADHD makes it compounded. Anyone with this type of experience or any great ideas please by all means . Let me know. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

ADHD is a crutch. I don't doubt that she has problems, but you are using the ADHD as an excuse. She will use it too. Tell her to get a job. Period. Good Luck!

Answer 2

If you want to change a behavior, you punish the behavior you want less of and reward the behavior you want more of. How do you expect her to want to go out and get a job, when you consistantly give her the money she asks for and the vehicles when she wants them? You have basically taught her that it's ok to ask for the money because you have given it to her everytime (I'm making assumptions here). So now, the delima that you face is that she will see you as a monster when you stop giving her the money when she wants it. Being inconsistant breeds complacency. You'll need to find a way to carefully explain to her that you can't afford it anymore, and that you haven't minded doing it for her before. She needs to see that it is a NEW problem, and not that she has been a problem all along. As you probably know from previous experience, people with ADHD don't take kindly to insults between the lines. Just have this conversation with her at a time when she is not asking for the money and before she does. That way she won't be in the middle of guilt or need when you talk to her. And be consistant with it, once you tell her it's got to stop, don't bend and give it to her again sometime. She'll start wishing she had the money, in which case you can frequently suggest to her that she would have much more spending money when she has a job. The only thing you'll have a problem with is that she'll need a vehicle to get to and from work. So she'll probably be talking to you about that. Be willing to reward her with that if she gets a job. That will make it much easier for her to stick with it.

Good luck, hope this works out.

Answer 3

she is an adult and she needs to earn everything she gets it is time you quit making excuses and make her earn her way. You can do this by giving her chores and what it pays for room and board and extra things get extra rewards in addition set value for work so that if she gets a job she can offset the cost of staying their not just find a job to get out of working around the house.

Answer 4

Stop giving into her BS and make her get a job. Trust me. If you cut her off of everything except for food and shelter she will get off her but and get a job. If she is 18 she is an ADULT. and ADHD is no excuse to not work or be LAZY. My brother has it and he is in college to be a physical therapist, works, and plays baseball for his college team. ADHD just makes things harder for you; it isn't an excuse to be a lazy freeloader.

Answer 5

Hard to motivate? Stop giving her the car. Make her use the bus.

Answer 6

Maybe waitressing would be good for her. She would have lots of different tables to wait on through the shift and have cash at the end of each night from tips.

Answer 7

i have a job opening for someone to just run around in circles shouting random things all day. the pay is great and she sounds over-qualified. send me a resume and we'll talk.