About 2 months ago, my boyfriend and I of 3 years broke up, we never quit seeing eachother, still slept together and weren't really "broken up". But then 2 weeks ago, I was raped by a black guy (I'm white) and Chris (ex) was the first one I called. Things were great between us, and we were together together. He helped me so much, but then last night his dad decided that he doesn't have to accept me into the family again, and told Chris I had made the whole thing up to try and get back into the family. We got into a bit of an arguement over it last night since Chris didn't defend me at all. He and his dad both know I spent 5 hours in the hospital getting a rape kit done, and the evidence proves the man guilty. Chris's dad told him he had to pick between me or his family, I told him I didn't want to ruin the family, but wanted to be in his life, and if he absolutely had to, I would just go to make it easier. He told me he wanted me, then today he picked his family, and told me I get what
2006-10-16 09:46:41 · 9 answers · asked by MaNdYb 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I deserve. Then he got physically violent with me. I think that he is pushing me away, so that the decision is mine, and that he doesn't have to do it. I have went through so much in the last couple months, that I am ready to end my own life, because nothing gets easier. What should I do? (Before I told Chris that I either needed him here for the whole time while this rape goes through, or I needed him to leave then before we got close again, ahe decided to stay, until today, so I have to deal with it alone, or start allover with someone else.)
2006-10-16 09:49:19 · update #1
It seems like Chris hasn't grown any "balls" to stand up to his family and make decision for himself. If he really loves you like he claims he needs to offer you support for this horrific thing you went through. His insensible father is not making things any easier for him or you. I'm very sorry you went through that (rape) and I know that is no words that will make you feel better. Yes, if anybody would ask me to choose mate or family........Family is first. This are the times where "love" is really challenge to either make or break it in the relationship. I think you should make be asking your "ex" for acceptable or understanding. The rape was not your fault.....its just thinks that unfortunately happen. What I really want to find out is where is your family or friends. You would need to be asking for support from your loves ones.......not your ex's. I would like to suggest to you to get professional help. This would not make it go away, but it will make it easier to cope with it. You are very important, and don't be asking for help on the wrong places.
2006-10-16 10:01:35 · answer #1 · answered by kahloguy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-16 05:12:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a counselor, and fast. You're currently suffering from Post Traumatic Stress, and Chris's inability to cope with your situation isn't helping.
Chris, like you, is going to need time to sort out what he really feels, and to mature and become his own person, instead of allowing his father to perpetrate this emotional blackmail upon him. That he is trying to shift blame to you indicates his lack of maturity over this whole situation.
If this was not his first "physical" outburst, you also need to get away from him because it may not be his last. You need to find a competent rape counselor - and you need to forget about asking Chris for help at this point, because he's in no better shape emotionally than you are right now.
2006-10-16 09:54:30 · answer #3 · answered by jbtascam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time heals everything! If he chose his family over you, then that makes him weak. If he was strong, he would have talked to his family about it and made them understand. Any family that does something like that is not worth being a part of. You should consider yourself lucky to have had him in your life for the time that you did, and now move on. You can recover from all the bad things that have happened to you and have a happy life! Trust me.... It may all seem like it is too much to deal with, but if you just take it day by day, and make it a goal to become happy again, you can get through this!! Good luck!
2006-10-16 09:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say you should keep on going and forget about Chris, find somebody else, and and dont take the whole thing to hard. It sounds like you are a good person and you deserve better then what has been happening so make good things happen, you deserve it!
2006-10-16 09:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by alaskarattlesnake 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry for you. I hope in time you will understand that the man you thought loved you was a jerk. Time will heal the hurt in your heart, but you MUST not love him. He picked his family over you. That's bullsh*t! Best of Luck! Take a long, long time before you get into another relationship, it won't last if you fall in too soon. GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-16 09:51:28 · answer #6 · answered by denverbroncos1973 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen! You tried with Chris and his Dad. What you need to do now is back off the relationship and be your own destiny. If they reject you, they trulty aren't your friend. True friends will stick with you and help you through tuff times.
2006-10-16 09:54:24 · answer #7 · answered by Tyranus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've been through a lot as what you've said, and that guy (chris) was with you but it doesn't mean you have to be with him even though he hurts you physically and emotionally. you have to move on, go on with your life. I know you deserve someone that will love you, accept you as what you are fight for you no matter what even to his family.
2006-10-16 09:59:13 · answer #8 · answered by joey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being victumized all over again. This is common for the victum to be blamed. I am sorry get some counseling from your local shelter.
2006-10-16 09:51:25 · answer #9 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋