Through out our 6 years together we have been through it all. From him almost dying in a car crash, to his family disowning him for being with me. Back in july he started acting up. He broke up with me to see other girls. However he was still coming over to my house everyday and called me at least 3 times a day. We got back together in Auguest. He has always been there for me when things get crazy, but however he is 22 almost 23 and won't make a move to improve his future. He just started college but make no effort to attend his classes. He has had number of jobs and he quites them all. Should I keep supporting him and stay with him or consider this relationship moving nowhere?
2006-10-16 09:40:15 · 23 answers · asked by btls_hushpuppies 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
After 2 years, I have a "sh1t or get off the pot" rule. After 2 years, if you know you don't want to be with this person the rest of your life, then leave them, otherwise, get hitched.
"He broke up with me to see other girls. However he was still coming over to my house everyday and called me at least 3 times a day."
and you put up with that? Seriously? What in the world does this guy offer so that you would stoop so low?
"He just started college but make no effort to attend his classes"
Isn't that what he did in High School? When it was FREE? So now he's PAYING TO SKIP CLASSES?????
Sounds like you're with an idiot. Step away from the situation for a year, and you'll kick yourself in the @ss for wasting 6 years with him.
Move on.
++ do this. Find a poor section of town. drive around. See all those people that are 35 and 40 years old that look like they have just given up on life? See all of those kids running around with no supervision? see all the trash outside of people's homes, like they just don't give a sh!t anymore? That's where your life is headed if you don't get away from this cat. Do you think those folks planned on being there not being able to pay bills on time?
Now, drive through a nice section of town. Those folks didn't just end up there, like in the above situation. They planned methodically to get there. They carefully orchestrated their life so that they could have those nice homes in nice areas with nice schools for their kids.
The question is, where do you want to be when you are 35? Because sweetie, one day you'll be 35. Do you want to be 35 with a loser making 8 bucks an hour, and $500 bucks is A LOT of money to make for the family in a week? Because that's exactly where you are headed.
2006-10-16 09:47:22 · answer #1 · answered by Manny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if you have to ask this question then you are already half way out of the relationship. Don't ask him to marry you or give him an ultimatum. He is who he is and you don't have a right to change him. If he isn't what you need or want in your life then move on. I know it totally sucks though. You have obviously invested alot of your life with this guy, but at the end of the day you have to ask yourself if he is right for you. You need to dig deep down and find out who you are as a person and what you want and need from a man. Put it this way, if you just met him for the first time and you somehow knew everything that you know now....would you date him? Be strong and don't settle. There are so many men in this world. Why waste your time on this one when you can be test driving so many other men until you find the right one for you.
2006-10-16 09:50:26 · answer #2 · answered by Jerrid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes down to it, you want to be in a healthy relationship that makes you happy, am I right? If you're unhappy with his motives, perhaps when he figures out the thought of losing you, he'll start to make an effort. You definately shouldn't support a guy with no goals at that age. Have a serious talk with him, it's time for a change. If still no effort, you'll just have to break up with him and move on.
2006-10-16 09:46:04 · answer #3 · answered by Psylence 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would give him an ultimatum...Start to show you that he can be responsible (ie...attend his classes) and show you that he is going somewhere in his life or you are moving on....if he continues down the same path what kind of future do you have with him....I know 6 years is a long time but you need to think of yourself first and what is best for you. He did not worry about you when he broke up with you to see other girls so why should you worry about him this time?
2006-10-16 09:44:17 · answer #4 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact that you are even asking the question, "should I stay with him" indicates your reservations about being with him, leaning strongly to the "dump him" side.
You have two choices:
1. Accept the un-achiever man that he is, love him and don't expect him to change.
2. Dump him and move on with your life
Do what is right for you and don't let your emotions get in the way and especially your past history with him. Keep in mind, this is no simple decision; whatever you choose will have a huge impact on your life. Be wise my friend.
Peace
2006-10-16 09:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by Big Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. You shouldn't support him just because he doesn't want to go to school or get a stable job. Tell him what you need from him as a partner/future husband and that you need someone who can contribute to your lives. He needs to either get out there and get a job and keep it or start getting serious about school. If he isn't willing to do either of those things, then you might want to consider moving on to a man who will work to help better your lives together and take care of you.
2006-10-16 09:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe this is your true love, maybe not. Only you can feel that and you must be honest with yourself.
However, true love is not always enough to make a successful relationship.
Sounds like he is still searching for who he is, and maybe he needs freedom to find that, though he may not be thinking that way.
If you listen deeply to your heart, and recognise the need in you that may be keeping you attached to him, you will then be able to get in touch with the true path for both of you.
Please don't settle for anything less than you truly deserve in life.
2006-10-16 09:47:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like this is going nowhere. A age 22, he really needs to behave more like a man, don't you think? He kind of sounds like a bit of a loser-- not what you'd be looking for in a husband and father of your children. I'd say move on.
2006-10-16 09:44:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him be a mooch. If you continue that he will keep up that behaviour and you will be harming him and yourself. There's no need to rush into a breakup, however. Why not talk to him about his choices in life and how they might affect your relationship first? If he makes no effort after that, then he might not be the greatest guy for you.
2006-10-16 09:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by twasbrillig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider this relationship going nowhere. He will continue seeing you as long as you always open the door. He will continue calling you as long as you accept his phone calls. Part of a HEALTHY relationship is the give and take associated with it. He is not contributing to the furtherance of your relationship.
2006-10-16 09:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋