My friend and I found out the same week that we were both preganant. Unfortunately, I had yet another miscarriage (my fourth). I am avoiding her text messages and emails now because I don't want to hear about her pregnancy. I know that what I am feeling is not right, but I can 't help it. My husband and I have been trying for years, and hers is not even around.
2006-10-16 09:22:18 · 16 answers · asked by Dragonfly23 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. I think you should just be honest with your friend and tell her that you are really having a hard time being around pregnant women right now. Hopefully she'll be understanding. Maybe after some time passes you'll be able to spend time with her without all the pain.
2006-10-16 09:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by cldb730 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel. If she is a good friend she will understand. However you need to not blame her for this and be happy that she isn't going through what you are going through. Just let her know how talking about her pregnancy makes you really sad. Don't ruin a friendship over this. You just may need her more now then ever!
Good luck and I am sorry for your loss. Don't give up hope though. My aunt had 4 miscarriages before she went on to have 2 healthy children...a boy and a girl.
2006-10-16 09:28:32 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know it makes you feel bad. I know what it feels like to go through a miscarriage. It hurts (more than just painful) there's no answers to all your questions. You are gonna be sad. and it will hurt to see pregnant women or talk to them. just tell your friend you love her & are happy for her, but explain that its too painful right now because you just lost your baby. be as open and honest as you can. maybe she will have some understanding with you. its completely natural to feel how you are feeling right now. believe me, i know.
as far as you trying to conceive again, cut out cigarettes & caffeine (if you do either), take prenatals (over the counter is fine until you actually get pregnant). you can take fertility medicine (i heard ovulex works good) and it will happen.
what got me through my miscarriage is knowing that everything happens for a reason & although i don't know the reason, it was for my best interest. It's hard, sweetie, but just keep reminding yourself that something good comes out of everything bad that happens. and everything truly does happen for a reason. when you finally do have a baby, it will mean so much more to you than it did the past times you were pregnant. you will appreciate it more. i miscarried my first baby in 2003. i got pregnant for the 2nd time & had my first baby june 3rd 2006. (i am 22 years old) i love her so much and sometimes I think to myself that she has to be this pretty and this good because I lost my first baby. just take it day by day and i will keep you in my thoughs & prayers. everything will work out. if you need to talk, email or im me! good luck
2006-10-16 09:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just beause her situation is different from yours doesn't mean that you shouldn't be happy for her. Everyone is different and every pregnancy is different. I understand why you're feeling that way but try to be there for your friend too. It's not her fault that you had a miscarriage and that she is still pregnant so don't punish her for that or you could ruin your friendship. Maybe you should talk to her about it and be honest. Just tell her that right now she is bothered that she is still pregnant and you had a miscarriage. Sounds like you're a bit depressed about it (and who wouldn't be) but like I said it's not your friends fault. Try to be supportive of her and hopefully she is supportive of you as well.
2006-10-16 09:27:12 · answer #4 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself have lost a set of twins and I totally understand your grief. Its not that you would wish this kind of pain on anyone, not even an enemy. Its just hard to share in her excitement. You need to be totally honest with her. Maybe in an email or letter would be easier for you. If she is a true friend she will understand your pain and not try to minimize it. I am so sorry for all you have lost. Unless you have gone through something like this its really hard to understand it. But please dont give up hope! I had a friend who tragically lost 9 babies, she gave up on becoming a mother and just a few months later she became pregnant and delivered a very healthy baby girl! No, it didn't ease her pain. It made her extremely thankful and made her treasure her daughter even more than she ever imagined. My prayers are with you! ----K.
2006-10-16 09:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by Diane's mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your friend your not ready to talk about babies as you've just suffered such a devasting event she will understand somewhat finally when your ready she will probbaly want you around to see her through everything if shes alone
i'm sorry you've had such a rough time from all this i wish you and your husband all the best dont stop trying for a baby tho it will happen for you eventually i know its hard now but just wait till you've got your own little bundle in your arms you'll be the proudest parents every i cetainly was and i am and i've suffered miscarriages just like you
i'll keep you in my thoughts and hopefully the next question you ask is where can i find a good nanny/childminder for my baby
2006-10-16 09:31:41 · answer #6 · answered by kpnuttyuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl--I have been thought he same exact ordeal. After losing 3---I didn't want to be around my friends that had children or were expecting. I know it makes you feel kind of selfish to have the feelings you have toward the situation....but its apparently natural. I ask my doc. about it--she told me that hormones are released by grieving mothers of lost pregnancies that will cause a jealous or weird feeling toward those whom have had or are having a great -normal motherhood experience. hopefully it will ease as time goes by--as mine has...although there are still moments that I want to burst into tears at just the sight of newborn baby or children playing. It is very difficult and seems rather unfair--but life is full of crap that is hard to deal with -hope you are able to find a way to cope--and be honest with your friend --if she cant understand then her lose.
2006-10-16 09:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by calebjohnsmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ring her or email her and tell her you are upset and will ring her again when you feel you can cope better. If she is a real friend, she will understand, especially knowing about your previous miscarriages. She is probably feeling very guitly at the moment and just wants to make sure you are ok. What you are feeling is normal and I know I wouldn't want to talk to someone who is pregnant when I have just lost my baby.
2006-10-16 09:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight out. If she's a true friend she will understand. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Try to not let it get you down. When the time is right, it will happen.
2006-10-16 09:26:03 · answer #9 · answered by fr2fish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same problem. It's definately hard. Sit her down and let her know how you feel, maybe let her know that you will definately be there for her throughout her pregnancy, but that she has to realize that you have a hard time seeing all of her joy over something that you can't seem to have. she should for the most part understand. i'm sorry sweetie, i hope things get better for you.
2006-10-16 09:26:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋