I have this one friend who keeps telling me these bad things about two of our other friends...And those friends keep coming up to me, all upset, asking why she is so mad at them. I don't want to lose the first friend's trust by telling them what she said, but I also think my other friends deserve to know the truth and shouldn't be kept in the dark about it. What do I do?
2006-10-16 09:05:48 · 19 answers · asked by Alta 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I would be honest with the friend and tell her that you don't want to hear what she has to say about the other two. Let her know that they are your friends too, and she should respect that enough not to put you in the middle of it. Tell her is she has a problem with them, she should take it up with them, not you. As far as the other two, I would tell them that if they want to resolve the conflict, they should confront the first girl and ask her what is wrong. Assure them as well that you are friends with all of them, and you are not going to be dragged into the middle. That way everyone knows where YOU stand and if they want to hash it out, they can do it without you. And lastly... STICK BY YOUR DECISION. If they try in the future to discuss one another, quickly let them know, you don't want to be involved.
2006-10-16 09:12:51 · answer #1 · answered by ootxmusicgirloo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop listening to the first friend. Tell her in a kind way she needs to go to the friends she's talking about and tell them. When she starts talking about them, change the subject, leave, stop up your ears, or whatever it takes not to listen. And, tell the other two friends to ask the first friend why is she so mad at them and change the subject. I agree the two should know the truth however, don't you be the one to do it. That's not your place. Do not offer any explanations to either one. If none of them has anyone to talk to about this then, maybe they'll eventually talk to each other. Please remember this: if someone talks about others behind their back, they'll do the same to you when you're not around.
2006-10-16 15:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by merry59 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you get out of this as soon as possible. I have been in this situation b4 and it the only thing that will happen is this whole thing will backfire and the friends will start to blame you for the problem. Although u don't think it will happen because these are ur friends, trust me it does happen. Let ur friends deal with their own problems and stay out of it and whether it works out or not, you will not be the blame. Good Luck, hope this helps
2006-10-16 09:19:04 · answer #3 · answered by dcutegirl06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would be just as bad to tell them what she's saying. Either tell your friend(the one thats talking ****) to stop telling you all these horrible things cause you feel like your put in the middle of all of them. If anyone should tell your other friends what this friend is saying it should be the one thats saying it. Tell her if she really feels that way then go up to them and say it! Otherwise dont say anything at all. BE STRAIGHT UP.
2006-10-16 09:12:06 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just politely tell your friends that you want to stay friends with everyone and you don't want to hear them talk about each other. You should also try to get everyone together and talk out the whole thing.
2006-10-16 09:08:39 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say you are friends with all of them. ok . you all need to sit down and talk , get it out in the open.
you can start if off by saying these two have a question that they want to ask you. they already ask me but i think it would be better coming from you , since i told you i wouldn't say anything.
i may be naive but i think this would work.
2006-10-16 09:11:25 · answer #6 · answered by Brenda R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remain objective. Tell the badmouther that you understand she's upset but you do not want to be in the middle of it. Advise her to talk it out with the others. She can't hate you for trying to be a pal to both sides!
2006-10-16 09:07:35 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the "bad talking" friend that since you are friends with the others, you cannot listen to her complaints about them...and you really wish she'd take her issues up with them so you could all be friends...but putting you in the middle isn't fair...don't stand for it...
2006-10-16 09:07:33 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop listening to the "bad stuff". That's called vicious gossip, and no good ever comes of it. Tell your talky friends you simply don't want to hear that kind of thing.
2006-10-16 09:08:02 · answer #9 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to the friend who is talking behind ur other friend's backs... tell her that you dont want to hear about it anymore and its not nice and tell her that if you hear any more about it then you will tell ur friends and later like in a few weeks after she has calmed down.. then tell them but dont let them get angry about it.. you dont want anymore drama
2006-10-16 09:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by Kt C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋